Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Things I didn't do this weekend

Hmm, let's see what have I been doing all week?? Not a damn thing!
No, really. The temp went from a nice 70 to a sizzling 96 this weekend.
Ok, I did put the ac's in the windows. Then I lay down and cooled. I swear steam came off me.

I have been walking. At six AM, I have been walking about half mile, four times this that is what about two miles? But,not on purpose mind you. But the damn dogs have decided they like to go down the road and chase rabbits in the neighbors yard. So, at six AM, I have to lug my ass down there and retrieve them. They know I'm coming. (dogs, not neighbors) and then walk back home with me. Assholes.

I've lost four pounds. Lovely Assholes.

I did clean out the fridge today. How long does Cheddar cheese really last? Christmas is probably a little long huh? Yeah, I thought so too...SWISH,in the can.

My husband was arguing with me while I had all the fridge parts in the tub, scrubbing them. His point being. I don't do anything all day. I slowly raised my sweaty brow up out of the suds, and stared at him. "Listen asshole...I have just done four loads of laundry, am washing dishing, and cleaning the entire damn inside of the refrigerator. And I have a killer headache. I in fact have the kind of headache where people KILL other people. And I swear someday that will indeed will be a plausible excuse for murder. Do you really want to me to tell the police when they get here what your last words were??? 'YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING AROUND HERE!' because, in all honesty the only thing I do actually do around here is - LISTEN TO YOU BITCH NON STOP! GO-THE-HELL-AWAY! ....And he did. For about an hour. I swear, I am someday gonna just beat him into tomorrow.

I've worked on more chapters for TWICE AS HARD. And NO get your minds out of the gutter. It's not about THAT. In fact it is about a young man 21 who is a musician who is found unconscious in a bathroom during a recording session. As things progress everyone believes he has a split personality, but truth be told...he is experiencing a past life occurrence. Seems his manager in this life, is the man who killed him in the last. Lots of twists and turns as he becomes the past life person more and more, he has come back to save himself, not gonna allow Tommy/manager to hurt him again. And there are other things he has to finish. Like TOMMY.

(I wonder if this is really just an extension of how I'm gonna do my husband in?)
Writers fanstasy defense? I'd buy it. The defense and the book!

Book is written, but the editing is bull. I HATE THIS PART. Can't I have people who will do this for me? JODIE I OWE YOU! She is doing it for me. She needs help. Anyone want to be my 'people'?

Little Britain...Hanuman, does Daffid say...HELLO MY PEOPLE? When he walks into the bar? Or what does he say??

Ok, I'm finished I think rambling. Probably not though. Expect another post or two. LOL.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

What are you all doing this weekend?

Any one doing anything? Tell us all what you have lined up.
I have no plans. If I do anything I'll work on the book, and I do need to measure my front porch. I want to enclose one side in lattice work, and take the same design around to the flower bed. But, to do this, I first need to buy an electric saw. I damn well know we used to have a circular saw, but I can't find the stinking thing now. I know we had one because I used it to make the herb garden.

Hubby went to work and I pulled everything I needed out of the garage and built the damn thing myself. He wouldn't do it, so I did. I drug out the saw horses, the saw, the goggles and two 8x8 planks. I measured, I marked, I cut. I then I shoveled out where I wanted the garden, put the planks into tracks I had dug out, nailed them together, hinged the sides, and planted all my herbs. I then made a top for it. Taking smaller pieces of wood, nailed those together at the corners, attached plastic to the 'top' and hinged it to one side. So, when it was too cool, I could cover it.
Hubby came home and kept asking who I hired to make it? Idiot. I am woman, hear me build. And I AM still gonna buy myself that air compressed nail gun. I really want a nail gun with the air compressor. I totally get how Tim Allen felt when I stand in Sears and look at those power tools. ARR ARR ARR.

Everybody have a great, safe weekend.

Thursday, May 25, 2006


I have to admit, I stole this from Hanuman.
I love his Memes.

My meme.

I am...not happy.
I books published
I wish...I had my own place.
I husband.
I kids.
I mom.
I fear...growing old and still being stuck here
I hear...unsolved history talking about the BOSTON MASSACRE.
I prefer...dinner out with friends, instead of a bar.
I wonder...if some of the memories I have are real.
I regret...nothing.
I am not...alone in this life.
I dance...badly.
I sing...even worse.
I endings. TV shows, good books, and relationships
I am... a good friend
I make up...stories all the time.
I fiction.
I daughter' boyfriends.
I be happy.
I should...loose some weight.
I start ... reading more than one book at a time.
I finish...other peoples sentences. Annoying I know.
I tag...anyone who wants to play.

What I did today.

Well, let's see.

I blew up the microwave.

Yep...BOOM! I put a bowl in and the fireworks began. It popped, it crackled and then it didn't do anything. Bye Bye microwave. Not a big deal. I had used this one for at least six years. A great life for a microwave I think.
I then went to dig out a 'spare' microwave out of my bedroom closet. Now, I have had this one still in its box in my closet for three or four years. I knew my other one couldn't last forever and I had picked up a spare after Christmas one year. I felt very proud of myself.
I took it out, unwrapped it from its Styrofoam and popcorn cocoon.
I loved the way it looked. Sleek, white, and SHINY. I plugged it in. I set the clock, I read the directions, and then realized it wasn't microwaving. The light was on, it was revolving inside, and I could hear it making it's humming, cooking noise. Problem is...IT WASN'T WORKING! I swear I've tried everything I can think of to get the damn thing to actually warm something up. NOTHING WORKS.
So, my spare, is useless. Of course I can't take it back. I've had it in the closet for four damn years. Damn, I'm microwaveless till next week.

Funny thing was. My son seriously asked me today..."How did you make soup, if the microwave is broken??" OMG! I know he's actually seen that big white thing in the kitchen called ...A STOVE.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

What do you do in class?

I had my weekly spiritual class last night.
Someone this week asked me:
"So, what do you do at this...Class?" I thought for a moment and answered.
"Well, we mediate, get in touch with our spirit guides, talk to the dead, pass along any messages they might have for us and...Maybe have pie."

Just kidding!

...There was no pie! ;)


Monday, May 22, 2006

A short story. THE WOLF


Crowded elevator, crunched and crushed bodies, deadlines. I found my self-running towards all these things. Closing doors ahead of me, I had just enough time to squeeze in at the last second.
I had ninety minutes to make my taxi and get to Hotel Belaugio down in San Rafael. I was promised an exclusive if I made it in time. My boss’ were hell bent on capitalizing my success with another winning photo. I was still getting awards and honors, which I didn’t care so much about anymore, with my award-winning photo of the silver wolf. His face had taken up most of the front page of the Time cover.
I had a million things on my mind as I rushed from the sliding doors and across the crowded lobby. I weaved and dodged people coming in and out of the busy building. I saw my ride waiting for me… a miracle in itself. Ten steps, eight, and I would be on my way. I’d have at least forty minutes once I was there to formulate the ideas I had for this shoot.
Just as I made the revolving door, I slammed into a hard body. I dropped my notes and the backpack slumped off my arm. I bent to annoyingly pick it all up. I hadn’t even really noticed whom I had body checked, until my journal was being handed to me. I took it and rudely looked up to say “thank you”, when I was floored all over again. He was kneeling in front of me holding my camera bag. My hand was on the other side when I looked into those eyes. Those mesmerizing eyes. He took my breath away. He smiled as if he knew exactly what he was doing to me.
“Alex” he said offering me his name, and with my bag. It took me a moment to gather my wits about me.
“Christian…Christian Fontenot” I finally managed to say. He smiled that smile again. I couldn’t take my eyes off his face. I’d seen that face before. More accurately his eyes. There was something about his eyes.
“Have we met?” I asked stupidly. He laughed lightly. Brushing the hair off his forehead.
“Yes, we’ve met. Why don’t we go for a drink? You look like you might need one, Christian Fontenot.” He smiled that disarming smile, and I felt like I could follow him anywhere.
I blew off the cab and my exclusive and headed to the coffee shop with him. I kept staring at him. Which he didn’t seem to mind. I had to remember where I had met this man before; my body reacted as if it knew him intimately already. Or maybe it was wishful thinking.
While he was talking to the waitress, my mind began to wander back five months ago, when my life had changed, changed forever.

If I tried I could almost hear and see everything as it was that day. I could smell the woods and feel my own overwhelming fear. Just as if I was there once again. Lord knew I had dreamt about it a thousand times. I let my memory wander as he drank his coffee staring at me, into me.
~ ~ ~
The sounds of the woods were surrounding me in terrifying disarray. I was lost; I was running lost and scared deep in woods, surrounded by things that I couldn’t see nor things that only my imagination could fathom. I couldn’t see them, but I could hear. The baying and barking was getting closer as I ran panicked. And I ran for my very life.
The snarls and growls sounded as if they were right next to my head. I couldn’t breathe. My chest felt like it was going to explode. But, I couldn’t stop; they knew these woods better than I did, or ever could.
All I could think of as I ran, swinging around trees, jumping over fallen branches and sliding around rocks bigger than a grown man, was how stupid I was for being here in the first place. There wasn’t any amount of notoriety worth dying for. I had never realized this before. I had taken photos of some extremely dangerous things before. But how was I to know that this was going to be the most dangerous photo opt I was ever to experience. And I hadn’t even gotten the damn shots I wanted yet.
I stumbled and twisted my ankle about that time. I fell hard and rolled with a muffled scream. I frantically looked around for someplace to hide. No such luck. I had fallen and rolled into what looked like an alcove of rocks and rock face, it surrounded me on three sides, and they were at least nine or ten feet above me. And the forth was blocked by a fallen tree, about knee high which is what I had gone over. I held onto my ankle and tried to slide as far back as I could. I desperately needed to control my breathing. I knew that I was making too much noise. I could still hear them coming. I could sense them watching me as they looked down to me. I frantically searched my pockets and bag for something to defend myself. The only things I had were rolls of film, and my camera. Lot of help they were going to be. I closed my eyes for a second and said a quick prayer. The last prayer I was ever going to be allowed to say, I thought. I fought back the over powering fear. I knew they could smell my fear. Hell, if they couldn’t hear my chattering teeth it would be a miracle.
I opened my eyes when I felt gravel falling on me. I slowly looked up. Standing on top of the rock wall right over my head, maybe ten feet away was the alpha Wolf. The large male. His entire demeanor told me everything I didn’t want to know. He was pissed and I was about to die. He looked at me in a way that left nothing to my imagination as to what was about to become of me. My left hand was slowly moving inside of my camera bag that had been slung over my shoulder. I lay my hand on the camera and popped the lens cap off. I didn’t really have much of an idea how this would help me, but, it was the only chance I had.
A howl nearly caused me to piss myself. My breathing had ceased. I sat stock still, waiting for them to make a move. And I say them, because there were six or seven members of the pack, all black and gray, large and hungry. I was no match to any of them. Any one of them could kill me in an instant, or they could take there time and rip me to shreds just for the fun of it. And yes, from what I had seen of this bunch, they would have fun doing it.
Why the hell was I here? Why couldn’t I just have passed on this story? I didn’t know, and I suddenly thought of my mother. Would she ever know what had befallen her son? I hoped that she would be able to get over my death. I had three brothers to comfort her. She would be all right, my brother Shaun, for all of my twenty-four years had always wanted to be her favorite, and I bet he would be sucking up as soon as they got the word of my horrible death. SHIT, I was about to die, and I was thinking of my asshole brother. I suddenly was mad. I had the first clear thought, or any thought for that matter in what seemed like hours. I wasn’t going to die this way. Or at least I wasn’t about to just sit here and let these bastards kill me without a fight of some kind.
I pulled the camera out of my bag. The growls grew louder and more anxious. I knew it was coming.
“Ok, what? You just going to sit there and watch me till I die of boredom? Come on you bastards, you want a piece of me… COME AND GET IT!” I screamed at them at the top of my lungs and saw the leader move to make his jump down onto me. I raised the camera chest high and braced myself for his weight to pummel me. The howling was loud and nasty; the sounds of movements all around me were maddening. I couldn’t see all of them, but that didn’t really matter did it? I had the alpha wolf moving down on me, the others would take the cue from him. I saw him in slow motion, arching and stretching as he in slow motion came down off his perch. His body was stretched out and I could see his muscled and flawless body fall towards me. I closed my eyes and held my breath, my finger held fast on the camera button. I could hear the film clicking off. I thought at least maybe someone would see the last thing that I had seen. I felt him hit me, and the pain ripped through my chest and stomach as his body hit mine. I felt him hit and fall away. I was fighting and struggling the best I could with the wind knocked out me. But, he wasn’t on me. I opened my eyes frantically trying to catch my breath. I was still swinging the camera in front of me, my finger still holding down the button. The clicking was as loud as my pounding heart. He wasn’t coming at me as I had expected. He was rolling on the ground in a fight for his own life with another wolf. A large silver one. I watched as they rolled and fought. After what seemed like hours but was probably just moments, the alpha retreated. Another of the pack tried to make his move by coming down from the edge of his rock, only to be stared down by this huge silver beast. I was in shock. I lay there staring at him, one by one the pack left from the ridge above me, each more vocal than the last, till it was just he and I alone. I swallowed hard, waiting for his move to end this battle. I knew I was his prize for this showdown. He was now the alpha leader and he had claimed me for his own. I mumbled to myself, barely audible. “I’m his trophy… he’s gonna kill me now!” I felt so weak; I knew I wasn’t able to do anything now to stop him. I was too battered and hurt. Not that I could have stopped him if I was still in one piece.

He stared at me. He didn’t move for the longest time. He stood there just watching me. I didn’t dare take my eyes off of him. And I couldn’t have taken my eyes off of him if I had wanted to, His eyes mesmerized me. There was something different about this one. Different from all the others in the pack. Not only by his coloring, but also, by his demeanor and stance. There was just something about him I couldn’t figure out. I ran my hand over my chest and stomach, feeling broken ribs and torn flesh from the big alpha slamming into me.
He finally, slowly began to move towards me. I was shaking so bad that I couldn’t control it. He took one step then another towards me. He stopped three or feet in front of me. He lowered his head for a second. And when he raised his face to me. I saw the most beautiful set of eyes I had ever seen. He stared at me, into me. I felt him looking into my soul it seemed. I had never seen eyes like this before. Deep brown, speckles of green mixed in. Colors, wolves didn’t usually have, that much my muddled brain new.
He slowly moved to each side of me, I thought he was sizing me up. To see how much of a challenge I was to be. I was wrong. He stopped once again, and slowly moved back. He would move, then stop and look back.
Ok, I’ve seen enough old Lassie movies to know he wanted me to follow him. At least I prayed that’s what this was about. I did manage somehow to get up and follow him, limping and hobbled by my hurt ankle, and badly bruised and cut chest. I don’t remember how I got over the log, or how I even followed him all the way to the edge of civilization. I watched him, standing at the edge of a tree line watching me in return. I couldn’t understand why he was doing this. Why hadn’t he just killed me? Why didn’t he just let the other wolves do me in? I had no idea, none at all.
I could here human voices yelling my name. Obliviously I had missed my meet up time. I felt myself slip fully to the ground; I was barely crawling for the last hour. I lay on my stomach, watching the wolf watch me as he made his way back into the tree line.
I could then feel hands and arms grabbing hold of me, I was being helped away. I was in shock, and began to wonder if any of this had really happened, the way it actually had.
As I was being loaded into the truck, I looked up and saw the silver king watching me from a ridge above the tree line. I memorized his face. I don’t know why. I really don’t. But, that’s what I did. He then howled and disappeared over the back. My rescuers all turned to look but he was gone. No one had seen him but me. And I knew I would never see him again. When the film was developed while I was still in the hospital, there was the picture of the year. The face of the silver wolf. I had gotten the shot trying to defend myself from the first alpha male. I had taken the picture before I even knew the silver wolf was there in front of me, protecting me.
And now, here he was again sitting in front of me smiling at my confusion.
Those eyes baiting me to take him on. Eyes I had dreamt about, eyes that were burnt into my memory. I felt myself go weak. A feeling of welcome surrender passed over me.
He leaned forward covering my hand with his own and whispered…
“I’ve come to claim my trophy.” And he had.


Friday, May 19, 2006

Season Finales

Ghost Whisperer. OMG! Total Shocker.

C.S.I LasVegas. OMG! It's about freaking time!

ER. This show is still on?

And my CHARMED on Sunday. And it better not be some lame attempt to make us all think it was a damn dream or something. Gonna be REALLY pissed. I know they are gonna have Piper go back in time to try and stop the sisters from being killed. (last week they were blown up, pretty much, Billy escaped, but we didn't see the body of CHRISTY. The evil little bitch. Ok, I don't like her, I have no qualms about that.) So, lets just hope they explain a few things. Hmmm, like...
1. Did they manage to change the future and Wyatt isn't evil?
2. Did Chris make it back to the future and didn't actually die in there time?
4. And what about Phoebe' visions of the her little girl? Will there be a little girl?
They have some explaining' to do and all in an hour to boot.

...My choice of songs

Well, most of those are indeed from the past. Most of them from the late 70's and early 80's.
Karla Devito was the vixen opposite Meatloaf in the BAT OUT OF HELL video, the original, not the tramp they tried to pass off on the TV special...pleeeaaase!
Karla as it turned out was from Mokena Illinois. And Shell knew her brother, somehow.
She moved to LA made it semi big and then Married Robbie Benson. Remember him? They even were married in Mokena. A BIG event.

As for some of the other music. I have to blame an old boyfriend for those. He was a part time dj once upon a time, (when he wasn't waiting for his unemployment check. Is that considered a job? waiting for the check to come? cause he made a career out that) and was allowed to keep (stole) some albums. He, Michelle and I listened a lot to: Red Rider, Loverboy, Quarterflash, Head East, Silver Condor and The Sherbs. Those were our staple of albums. Loved each and every one. Red Rider probably the least though.
These were the days of my brief, but meaningful 'lost months'. Yes, indeed I was a Speedqueen. Nope, not the kind you find at Sears, but the kind that had a jar of Blue / Green inclears in my bedroom. I have to tell ya, I loved those things. They only were a part of my life for a very short time, but non the less, they were part of my 80's. Six months in 1980 to be exact. I can still feel that tingling in my scalp if I think really hard. Weird Sensation.
But, I could paint a kitchen or repave your driveway in just a few hours flat though. ;) just kidding.

Ok, back to the list. Dar Williams is kinda folkish. She was a member of the Lillith Faire a few years back.
Don Gibson is from 1963 and is country. Plain and simple.
And the rest I think you might know. I have an eclectic taste in music just like I do in EVERYTHING else in my life. I might go from listening to THE TEN TENORS to THE DOORS in a heartbeat. Depends on what I am trying to create.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Songs that are playing

I write. Yep, I put on the headphones and drown out the dogs, kids, and just general noise. Right now (and for the past hundred and forty seven years) I've been editing and rewriting a novel. And when I work on it, I have a 'writing music' file on my windows media player. So, tonight these are the songs which are on repeat. I just know, you've all been dying to know what I'm listening too. So, here you are...

ELO-Rock and rock is king
ELO-Hold on tight to your dreams
ADAM ANT-Goody two shoes
DON GIBSON-Sea of heartbreak
SWEET-Ballroom blitz
THE SHERBS-I have the skill
THE SHERBS-No turning back
HUEY LEWIS-Walking on a thin line
ESSEX-Easier said than done
ELTON JOHN-Mona Lisas and Madhatters
KARLA DEVITO-Is this a cool world or what?
KIM WILDE-Kids in America
COUNTING CROWS-A long December
PAT BENATAR-Promises in the dark
BOB SEGER-Fire Inside
QUARTERFLASH-Find another fool.
MAXINE NIGHTINGALE-Right back from where we started from
JESSICA ANDREWS-Theres more to me than you
DAR WILLIAMS-Another mystery
DONNA SUMMER-Sunset People
HANSON-Song to Sing

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Police Department

I live in a tiny little Mayberry type town. We have no grocery store, nor video rentals. We do have a beauty shop, two hardware store, two gas stations one on either end. Two bars and one farmers restaurant. We also have a police department-sorta. Let me explain...

I had to report once to our station. I had just moved to this town and my dog found that he didn't so much like the mailman, meter reader or garbage collector. So, I had to make a trip to town and the police dept.

When you go to the police station. You drive up, park next to the railroad tracks that run through town, you walk past the TWO police cars parked outside, you open the door that says POLICE DEPARTMENT stenciled in very nice gold letters. There in front of me was a tiny little room. I looked around and saw in all its glory...A wooden door, two white plastic walmart outdoor chairs and a payphone with a HUGE handwritten sign above it that read...IF YOU NEED HELP DIAL 911-- and state your problem.

I shit you not.

And there above the phone was a camera. And I just knew that somewhere, someone was watching me. I had the urge to give it the finger, but not being positive where the real police station might be, I kept my fingers to myself.
I kept wondering if this was some kind of hazing, because I was the newest member of the community, and was an OUTSIDER. So, I played along, I picked up the phone, dialed 911 and waited. A moment later a voice answered and asked what my problem was? I told them I was IN the police dept and there didn't seem to be anyone home. I had the piece of paper I had been given, and I waved it at the camera. I told her why I was there, seeing THEY wanted to talk to ME. She told me to hold on a minute and was put on hold. ON HOLD! What if someone was chasing me? What if the rapist was hot on my heels? She put me on hold for Christ sakes. I then heard the strangest thing. Almost feedback like. I could here a phone ringing in my ear and curiously...In the next room as well. I turned and looked at the little wooden door. I heard the woman talking to someone and then the door opened, with me still on the phone with the operator. There standing two feet in front of me was the policeman. WHAT THE FUCK?? I hung up the phone and held up my piece of paper.
I wanted to ask...Is this for real? And what are you hiding from? You are the POLICE what are you hiding behind this door from? Who do you think you are...The wizard? I went in, and sitting behind the desk was the largest man I had seen to date. The police chief. He had to have weighed three hundred pounds. I wondered to myself, how long it would take my dog to eat him? Bad bad thoughts. He looked at my note, started talking to me about 'acquainting' my dog with the civil servants... And I wondered how long it had been since he had been out from behind that desk? Could he GET out from behind that desk? Then he was talking again..."...He just is afraid of dogs." "Who? Who is afraid of dogs?" I asked dazed. "The garbage man. He's been bitten a few times and would appreciate it if you could keep your dog in the house until he picks up your trash." I agreed to try and make nice with the garbage man, all the time wondering what would happen if they actually had a real crime to solve? One that involved leaving the safety of the 'Police station'? And to this date...It hasn't happened yet.


May all our friends in New England be safe and careful.

Monday, May 15, 2006

A wise woman

I've been thinking of my mom today. She was indeed a wise woman. She was larger than life to be sure. She did things that I find incredibly brave.

She was born and raised in a coal mining town in Virginia.
She was the forth oldest in a family of eleven kids. I can't even imagine having ten brothers and sisters.
When she was seven years old she was wearing a new wool dress my grandmother had made for the girls for the fall for school. She saw one of her brothers cutting potatoes to fry over a camp fire. She went over to tell him he was cutting them to big and that they wouldn't fry. She bent down to show him how to do it, and her dress caught fire. Her screams brought my very pregnant grandmother running. She put the fire out with her own hands, causing deep burns that would hurt her for years. She then carried my mother miles in her arms to the camp doctor.
From there they somehow got her to the 'big' hospital over in Tenn.
My mom was in and out of it for weeks. The burns on her back were so deep it scared her internal organs and for years they told her she would never conceive, even if she did somehow survive. They finally did send her back home, to die I suspect. They gave her no hope of making it. She did survive, with the help of the camp doctors and my grandmother and her sisters. She used to say she remembered them putting a thick purple ointment on her raw back, until it healed. Modern medicine at the time, had nothing on those camp doctors and the medicine women.

I remember running my finger over the scar on her back when I was little. It covered her entire back from her hips to her shoulders. And she never let it stop her.

When she was sixteen she married her first husband. It lasted three months. My mother had gone to visit one of her sisters who was having a baby. When she came home a day early, she found her new husband and another woman in bed. My mother weighed all of a hundred pounds probably. She drugged that woman out of the bed, they tumbled down the front steps, and my mother broke that woman's nose while banging her head off the grass. She then turned to her terrified husband and told him he was next.
That ended that marriage. lol. They would become friends again thirty years later.

At seventeen, she decided she needed a change. She caught a bus to Ohio. She didn't know a soul there, but that was as far as her 'get her there' money would take her. She got a job as a secretary and found a roommate. She lived there till she was twenty. Then came back home, and married my father. Funny thing was my fathers mother was a midwife too, and on the morning my mother was born, my father was lying in a basket on the floor. He always said, he fell in love with my mother on the day she was born. They were married almost forty years when he died after a long illness. Then my mother followed ten years later.

Some of the things she would say always made me laugh. Sometimes, I would scratch my head trying to figure out what the hell? But, now, I get most of them. lol.

"You lie down with dogs, you'll get up with fleas." Watch what you do, and who you do it with.

"What goes over the devils back, will always come back up under his belly." What goes around, comes around.

"A drunk man, and a whistling woman will both come to a no good end." ??? That one I'm still waiting on.

"Dead men tell no tales, but the cat in the cupboard knows all the secrets." Just listen and keep your mouth shut.

"There are more things than heaven and earth. And time holds no bars on them."

Can you tell that maybe there were witches in the wood pile someplace?? I get that impression too. lol.

She once was arguing with my fairly new husband, when in the middle of a thought, she just stopped, squinted her eyes and said..."If you were a bug in a jar...I wouldn't even give you air holes." She then turned and walked out of the room. I laughed out loud. My husband turned white as a sheet and shut his mouth. Wonder what he thought she was gonna do??
I know what he knew I would do, we were bickering once at a fair, we were standing next to one of those crossbow games. I was so furious at him, I walked over, laid my dollar down, the guy handed me the bow, I lined it up, let it fly, and the arrow hit the bullseye. The guy and my husband looked at each other. I took the stuffed whatever, turned to him, and said...Don't fuck with me, ever. And walked away. I think I got my point across. I had never held a cross bow in my hands before or since. But, it just felt sooo right. lol.

I miss my mom, but I know she is around when I need her.


Sunday, May 14, 2006


I hope everyone had a nice Mothers Day. Those of you who still have Mothers, I hope it all went well. And those of us who ARE mothers, God help us all.

I've spent most of the day searching online for divorce lawyers. And maybe this will be the last year I spend living in the same house with a hermit looser with issues bigger than I can fix, I couldn't fix them if I had a thousand years and the patience of Job.

I have three kids. Two still at home, and one married and away. The oldest one has blown me off all week. Jodie and I were gonna be right by where my daughter works on friday night. We went to dinner and then to the book signing for Charlaine Harris and I wanted to take my daughter to dinner. But, she blew me off to go to a mother/daughter dinner at church with her mother in law. ERR. I let it go.
The middle daughter was PISSED. She called her sister up and I have no idea what she said to her, but I haven't heard from daughter number one all week.
This morning daughter one called...I didn't answer. Ok, I know it is childish, but I didn't WANT to talk to her.
Daughter two came home at lunchtime with a really cute card and lunch from our favorite place. And this kid is only 17 and I really sometimes wonder what kind of past life history we have. What it is that she is working on in this life? She was child that I tried the hardest for. And I am rewarded constantly. The card was all about how it was from the 'perfect' child in the family. Really funny. And she signed it FROM YOUR PERFECT CHILD. She then gave details WHY she is the perfect child. lol. A LONG list.

Youngest child and only son has yet to say anything and I will be damned if he will turn out like his father. I will go all CIA on his ass and brain wash him before I let that happen.
And his father is just a giant ass who ...well...Lets just say I'm looking for a laywer who will F*CK him in more ways AND places than just his bank account.
My feelings are... "he has nothing, BUT BY GOD, I WANT HALF OF IT!!"
Nope, not bitter at all. Nope, Not one little bit.

Ok, daughter one just called to say Happy Mothers day. But all she talked about was what SHE got. She's NOT A MOTHER. Geesh. Not even in that ballpark. And she gets roses. BITE ME!

So, just like Christmas I was nice to myself. Hell, I figure if no one else cares about me, then I will love me. lol.
I took myself to the book signing, and out to dinner with my best friend, Jodie. We had a really fun time. And I thank God every day for meeting her. She is the bestest friend ever!
And yep, I know Bestest isn't a real word. But it fits!
I hope everyone had a good day dealing with respective parents and in laws. I do feel for all of you.


Wednesday, May 10, 2006


Ok, there is a section of Chicago known as Boys Town. That is where the gay bars, clubs and stores are located. And it is totally cool! I've been with a group of friends and I hope to go back again this summer.

Now, I live waaay out in the boondocks and get lost just thinking about driving into the city, so I must ALWAYS have a co-pilot. So, I guess I will have to coax or better yet coerce Jodie into going with me. We are hoping to meet up with Hot Toddy this summer when he comes for the Gay Games.

Now, for Boys Town. Our little group consisted of five of us. Jodie, Michelle, Bob, Billy and myself. We parked and cabbed it from club to the next. I ended up sitting on Bob's lap. I'm sure he was thrilled!! with his then boyfriend squashed next to the door at the other end of the seat. . He did point out the leather store, but no one wanted to go but me. (He did take me another time. I outfitted him in a leather harness, shorts and a leather swatter. He looked adorable. But wouldn't go for the dog collar. Party Pooper).
The first club we checked out we watched guys Line Dancing. Cute, and sweet. The next we were able to observe the male mating dance, up close and personal. The third and last club of the night was Berlins. Now, Berlins attracts a large drag clientele. I was THRILLED. There was one guy, I swear he must have been near 7 foot tall. He was dressed in all black leather and was wearing a long matrix coat. I was totally blown away.
As the night grew old, Jodie and I went up to the bar. Sitting on the stool a few feet down from where we were standing, sat a man. He was dressed from head to toe like Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz. He had the shoes, the dress and even the pig tails. But when he turned to look at us...He always had a full mustache. :::blank stare::: :::Blink::: :::more blank stare::: I guess we weren't in Kansas anymore after all. The cute bar tender leaned forward with our drinks and laughed..."You should have seen him last week...He was Marilyn Monroe. I had to laugh. I could just picture him in the white dress and shoes, with all the facial hair. How classy is that!

Let me mention one teeny tiny little thing...

Jodie attracted the only two straight/bi guys in the entire place and ended up going home with numbers. From a gay bar? From men?, two different men...HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?!?!?

Oh, before I forget, anyone coming for the Gay Games...I think the leather bar is called THE MANHOLE. I might be wrong, but I think that is what its called. I WANT TO GO!!!! Hell, I can't get them to go MR LEATHER INTERNATIONAL at least they could do is go with me to a leather bar, a dungeon or somewhere else that "I" WANT to go to damnit!
...But on second thought I would be really disturbed if I ran into Wizard of Oz guy locked in stocks or a sling in some dark corner dressed as Mary Poppins or any member of the Von Trapp family.
But it does give the line..."Doe Rae Me" or is it "Do Me Ray?"... A whole new meaning.


Monday, May 08, 2006


Charmed... I love Charmed. And there are only two episodes left...For ever. How sad. But, I am holding out for a few things. A few things that MUST be tied up.
First off, I want to BITCH SLAP that one little blonde ULTIMATE POWER little snipe. She must die. I hope they kill her, bring her back and kill her again. Why all this anger towards her?...She is a bitch. An evil conniving little pain in the ass. Other wise, no reason.

COLE--- Ok, I know they have killed him, vanquished him, sent in flying into a million pieces, like ten times? But, I love Cole. And in my opinion they need to pay Julian McMahon what ever his little heart desires to get him to come back for the last episode.
LEO--- and they have to get Leo unfrozen. They must first save the world, kill the bitch, and get Leo back. Just a few loose ends before it's all over.
On tonight's episode, they ended up in the underworld. I was sitting here watching, my only thought at that point was COLE. Cole has to be around someplace. Hmmm, let me see if I can work out some ideas for the last two episodes.
Cole comes back. He senses that Phoebe is in mortal danger from blonde bimbo bitch, and comes to help. He's always loved Phoebe. He would do anything for her. Hell, he even made her his queen and married her. And as a brother in law, yeah he still tried to kill the sisters now and then, but damn we can over look something like that. We've all had in laws from Hell. He just was the ruler of it at the time.
Now, he and Leo always seemed to get along. On opposite sides of good and evil granted, but they were still bros in law. A bond was there. Hmm, maybe Cole can help set Leo free from being frozen for all time. And just to add a little twist, maybe, we can finally find out the truth...Leo really always loved COLE. Who among us hasn't had the hots for the bad boys in our lives? Now admit it. If you had a brother in law who looked like Dr. Troy (oops wrong show, still hot in that one too.) you'd want to do him too. But, I think Leo might be a bottom. He has to be, after all those years being bossed around by elders and those three or actually four pushy sisters. He'd have to be a bottom no doubt about it.

I can dream can't I?

Saturday, May 06, 2006


I'm reading:
The swordsman-by Mel Keegan.
Loving it. I love all his books.

Books I've read this past month:
Mardi Gras Mambo- Greg Herren. (Love all his books)
Nocturne-Mel Keegan.
The blood of kings- John Michael Curlovich.
KINK- tales of sexual adventurer.
Tea leaf reading-William W. Hewitt

Books that are waiting:
The Davinci Code
All three books by Adriana Trigiani
(Big cherry holler-Big Stone Gap-Milk Glass Moon)

Book that I'm picking up this week, that are waiting for me, Yeah!
Someone to Love-Timothy James Beck
definitely Dead-Charlaine Harris
Running Dry-M.Christian
And the second book by Curlovach, can't remember the name. Bad me.)

And in between reading all these, I am writing my own, gay sci fi. I should not writing, because it is written, but Jodie and I are editing. I write, she edits, Poor thing. She has her job cut out for her, for sure. lol.

She says I am the queen of Commas. I think each and everyone are needed and wanted. lol. She disagrees daily. I, am, sorry, chica, but, they, stay, YEAH, for, commas, commas, are, my , friends. HEY, PUT THAT MOUSE DOWN, DON'T YOU THROW THAT AT ME!

So...I'm off to do another chapter for her to moan and groan about. "Leave out the commas, I'll add them." she says. Yeah, right. Like that will happen.


Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Falling Arches?

No, not the one's in your feet. The one's at McDonalds.

Megan and I were walking across the parking lot of Wal-mart the other day, and she stopped and stared across at McDonald's. "What?" I asked. She continued to stare. I followed her gaze, wondering just what she was looking at. It's not like she's never been to a McDonald's before. Hell, there have actually been times we've actually eaten INSIDE of a McDonald's instead of doing the drive through. Granted the kids were maybe three at the time, but, I'm sure her memory is good enough to remember it, it was seldom and far far between visits to the inside.
But, that wasn't what was on her mind.
"Did you see something strange over there?" she asked, still trying to figure out what she saw. Then, all of a sudden I saw what she was looking for. The big M on the side of the building, swayed, and came crashing down, right into the parking lot.
I still doubted what I had just witnessed. About that time the manager person, who must have been maybe 14, came out, looked at the LARGE M, looked up at the side of the building, which was now missing a LARGE M. And stood, motionless looking up at the missing arch. Then back down at the fallen arch. I couldn't help it. I started to laugh.
I didn't get to see them come and take away the poor deceased M. But, I have wondered...Who would you call, to come and pick up a twenty foot M? And where would they take it? And who would corporate call to put it back up? Is there a branch of McDonald's that do nothing but repair and dispose of LARGE M's? Do you have to go to Mcdonald University to learn how to do this? do you get something equal to a MA? or BA? or do you just get a MCD? McDonald's Diploma.

Hmmm, me just rambling.