Tuesday, October 31, 2006


I hope everyone has a safe and happy night. And you all have lots of candy left over to eat yourselves. That's the best part of buying the candy. You always buy the kind YOU like best and then hope no one shows up.

We don't get Trick or Treaters out here. So, I just buy it for us. I know, I'm cheating, but my kids aren't kids anymore and they don't 'do' the bags of candy anymore.
Megan is taking a fan bus to a regional soccer game tonight, and Patrick is going to a party on the next road, a mile over. So, I guess I'm home alone with my ghosts and haunts. The usual Tuesday. ;)

Saturday night I had a strange thing happen. And I have a witness, Megan saw it too.

My living room clock runs on a battery, so it wasn't because it automatically knew to set itself back at the correct time. At one at or there abouts the clock began to run really fast. I mean an entire rotation of the second hand all the way around in about ten seconds. I stood and watched as it flew past hours and then days. Megan came in and watched it for awhile too.
It did this for exactly two hours. When it stopped it was actually only off by seven minutes of what the correct time really was.
It then ran normally and has continued to do so since. It hasn't stopped, or sped up again.
While it was doing it's thing, I went into the bathroom to check on that clock. If it had been doing the same thing, I would have thought a meteor or something was about to hit my house. Wonder who or what was trying to get my attention?

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Ghosts part two.

I hate hospitals. I used to not mind them so much. But within the last ten years they just seem so 'full' if you know what I mean. If I surround myself in white light before I go in, I can mostly get in and out without being bombarded by 'feelings'.
About five years ago I was in the ICU for five days. I was taken in by ambulance and kept. They believed I was having a heart attack. I was forty.
After five days they sent me home with the diagnoses that I had Vertigo. Man, not even in the same area as the heart. But, I was really out of it for those days. I couldn't get up by myself because my blood pressure was so low. I would stand up, and down I would go. I was just really out of whack.
I had two really strange things happen to me while I was there. At the time they seemed so real I didn't even question them till after they they had happened.

The first was a patient I couldn't see, but I could hear. This person would just yell for help. Argue with the staff. And yell for the nurse. I think it was a woman, but I'm not sure. But this went on all one night. It was annoying. I couldn't figure out why no one was going to shut this person up. They could at least go and see what the problem was. I never heard a nurse talking to this person. But I could hear the person arguing with whomever.
The next day I asked the day nurse WHF? Where was this person who obvioulsly was not happy. Were they just being a bitch or was there some other reason why they ingored them?
The nurse said she had no idea who I could be talking about. But she would ask the night nurse. Maybe this person only became loud at night.
The night nurse who had been on the two nights before said there was no such person. I damn well knew there was. I had to cover my head with my pillow to shut her up.
That night she started in again. I sat up and yelled. "Will you just be quiet. Some of us can hear you. Look around. Is there a light someplace? Go into already. I'm sorry that's all I can do for you. I can' get up either." She shut up. And I didn't hear anymore from her the rest of the time I was there. I don't know if maybe she had indeed gone into the light. Or just figured she'd better be quiet. LOL.

There was also a little boy. Maybe four or five. I looked out into the hall one evening during visiting hours and there he stood looking into my room. It was as if he was walking down the hall and just stopped. Really cute. Blond. He just stood there watching me. He didn't say anything. Just stood there. I wondered where he had come from? Was he visiting someone? Had he wandered out of a room? He was too little to be on his own. I looked away and then he was gone. I figured he had just walked out of my view. The next day I saw him again. This time he smiled at me. I smiled back.
I asked the nurse again who the little boy was? She said children weren't allowed on the ICU floor. I must have dreamt him. Yeah, right. She must have thought I was nuts or on really good drugs. I know I wasn't dreaming. I know I say him, twice. He must have come back because I could see him. I went home the next day and I didn't get the chance to say goodbye to him, or find out who he was.
I have often wondered though who he was attached too. Was he a patient as some point? Was he attached to someone visiting? Or was he waiting for someone to cross over? He didn't scare me at all though.

This past summer when Patrick was hurt I didn't even think about it as I walked into that ER. I didn't have time to deal with any other souls, his was the only one I had to keep safe. I didn't encounter anything strange, besides that the room did seem really crowded when I walked in. But, four of my guides had been gone for a week and I know beyond any doubt they were with him. They have orders that if any of my kids are in danger or need them, they are to GO and go right that instant and protect them. And I can feel it when they go. I feel... Empty and tired. It's a weird feeling. To suddendly feel drained. And I know they are gone. They had been missing all week. I had even mentioned at class wondering if I had done something to piss them off? it hadn't occurred to me they were with Patrick. When Tom came running into the house saying that the ambulance that had gone past the house was for my son, I knew where they had gone. I wasn't freaking out. But, on the way to the hospital, thirty minutes away. I did feel Paul touch my shoulder. He was back with me. And when I walked into that cubicle. I could feel everyone else there.
Once I saw where he had hit the mailbox and missed the telephone pole by feet. I knew exactly what they were doing. If he had to experience this for what ever reason, they were making sure he it the thing that would give. The mailbox. He still bounced and rolled fifty feet.
I will forever be grateful that 'someone' protected him.

Ghosts and spirits.

As I sit here getting ready for class tonight. I'm centering myself. Trying to calm my mind and just shut off the internal dialog that has a mind of its own. No pun intended. I swear there are times that my brain and memories have detailed conversations with each other, without me saying a word. They just won't shut the hell up.

Tonight we are doing trance work. Three of us will go into a trance and give messages. This freaks me out a little. I don't like being in control. I had a really bad experience about fourteen years ago. Years and years before I worked for this same famous psychic. She put me into a meditative state. And I promptly became stuck in a dark tunnel, surrounded by nasty balls of lights. And one very angry and evil being. He stalked me, he hounded me in this tunnel. And when I tried to leave he wouldn't let me pass. I can tell ya, I was scared to death. I have it on tape someplace and you can tell the psychic was beginning to freak out when I refused to come 'back up' I just couldn't. It took a lot of work on both her and my parts to convince me to find the energy and strength to tell this 'thing' to back the hell off and that he held no power over me.
Years later I worked for a year with this same woman, who by then had become pretty famous. At least in Chicago. I traveled with her to her seances. I was the official smudge person. lol. I cleaned the negative things away from people before they went into the sacred circle for the seance.
It didn't take long for us to figure out that once she was under and talking to dead people. I was getting tons of images. I began to keep a pad of paper in front of me with a diagram with everyone's name written down where they sat. I would write down what I had 'gotten' when the medium was talking to them. They were really damn correct. I still am so surprised when I can do this. I keep thinking. "I'm making this shit up. It's all me. It's not real. Is it?"
I have to say though that there are times when I just know a medium is making it all up. It's just doesn't feel the same. And my own guides snicker in my ear. And I know the person doing the reading is full of crap. It's really hard not to laugh at them sometimes.

I'll let you guys know if Elvis comes through tonight. That is if he's not working at that 7/11 in Ohio. I swear that was him. ;)-

Fall is here.

Nothing much going on around here.

Except dodging combines and wagons. They are everywhere. From my own back yard to all the major roads. And by major I mean the only roads to get us from point A to point B. Most are one two lane gravel and tar byways.

You can't turn a corner without seeing piles of corn. (they have fallen off overloaded wagons on the way to the elevators, which are now open late to take in all the surplus.)

Our local radio station down in Kankakee even gives news updates, like traffic reports but for combines and elevator wait times. Yep, living in the country.
Where else can would this excuse be valid? "I'm late because I was stuck behind a combine and a bunch of loaded wagons. Couldn't get around them, they took up both lanes." and this happens all the time.
Wait times for the elevators is now over an hour. This is insane because they can fill up and dump every few hours anyhow. So, they seem to be on a load and haul your ass schedule. They always have one truck running while they fill up another.

Our fields are bare, and it looks like winter now. I bought my plastic and stables this weekend and will cover my six windows that were opened this summer. I know it seems I live in turn of the century walnut grove. And that isn't far off. Two houses ago, we even had a wood burning log stove in our living room.

Did I mention Tom and Patrick bought a beef steer and he is coming to live at our house soon? yep a real live one and its HUGE. I have no idea how long he will be here. Or where they plan on keeping the thing, besides the one barn that has holes THIS BIG all through it. The poor thing will freeze. And I will not take care of it. I did my time in hell, bottle feeding week old beef calves, with those big baby huey milk bottles.

I feel I keep living past lives. Over and over. What am I not learning?


I can hear what you're saying, you know. What was I suppose to do, let those baby cows starve to death? Allow those pigs to run free? Let those cows continued to eat the neighbors flowers?

All I know is, when I get to heaven, there better be something really wonderful waiting for me. I deserve it, damit. I've already spent my time in hell.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

A few T.V shows I love.

A list of my favorite television shows I watch each week.
There are a few new shows that I've become enchanted with.

Heroes. NBC, Mondays. I just love this show. It really is written cleverly.

The Class. CBS Mondays. This one cracks me up.

Night Stalker. Sci fi channel, Fridays. It isn't as campy as the original, but Stewart Townsend makes up for the flaws it has.

Criminal Minds. CBS Wednesdays. I like this one.

NCIS, CBS Tuesdays. This Show crosses both the comedy and crime genres. And Michael Weatherly aint bad eye candy either.

Dexter. Showtime, Sundays. A Showtime thriller. It is both engaging and disturbing. Creepy all the way around.

Grey's Anatomy. WLS Thursdays. What can I say about this one. I love it.

Doctor Who. SCI FI Fridays.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Dr Who

Oh man, it was so cool they brought back Sarah Jane and K9.
I always liked Sarah Jane. Even though she whined a bit much. But she still was with the Doctor for a long while.
There were a few male companions along the way too. Every now and then for a season or so there would be three travelers. The doctor, Sarah and ?
Rose doesn't whine nearly as much as Sarah did. But, I think the doctor always loved Sarah.

Ok, it's over and I actually cried. I know, what a softy. But, I would have loved to see Sarah travel with them again. I don't care if she's forty something. Hell, arent we all forty something?

I do like this new doctor. I wasn't sure if I would or not, but I do.
Ok, for the record...I DON'T LIKE MIKEY. They can drop him off on some far off planet at any time, and I won't cry. Nope, not one little tear.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006


A Halloween Meme, curtsey of Doug.

1. What's the scariest movie you've ever seen? It has to be the original Oman. We went to see it at a theatre. During the entire movie the power kept going off. The screen would close and then reopen when the back up power would click on. When we left the theatre, we didn't notice until we were ushered outside that it is was storming like crazy. They wouldn't let anyone back in, so we had to make a mad run to the car. We then had to try and get home ten different ways because the roads were all flooded and closed.

2. What was your favorite Halloween Costume from childhood? A gyspy. A full red skirt that swayed.

3. If you had an unlimited budget, what would your Fantasy Costume be for this Halloween? A pirates of the Caribbean dress.

4. When was the last time you went Trick Or Treating? Hmmm, just a few years with my kids. But for myself? Probably twelve.

5 . What's your favorite Halloween Candy? Whompers. A malted milk ball.

6. Tell us about a scary nightmare you had? There is this really scary face, more of a sardonic grin. It is frozen on the face and just evil.

7. What is your Supernatural Fear? Dying and being trapped someplace and not being able to move on.

8. What is your Creepy-Crawlie Fear? Not a big fan of snakes.

9. Tell us about a time when you saw a ghost, or heard something go Bump in the night.? Pretty much every night. I've always lived in haunted houses. All four of them.

10. Would you ever stay in a real Haunted House overnight? Yes hundreds of times. This house has a few entities. The last house had a gay man. And the first house we lived in as a married couple was built on a hundred year old grave yard. Dozens of ghosts that came and went over that nine years.

11. Are you a traditionalist (just a face) Jack O'Lantern Carver, or do you get really creative with your pumpkins? Traditionalist all the way.

12. How much do you decorate your home for Halloween? Not much. Christmas is my biggest season to decorate.

13. What do you want on your Tombstone? I don't care. I'd rather not have one. Just take me out to the woods and let nature do its thing. I'm donating my organs so after they make damn sure I'm dead and gone, they can do whatever.

Friday, October 06, 2006



That was the sound my forehead made when I was banging onto my desk.
My son bought a little mp3 player. He tried to install it on my computer. My computer hated the little mp3 player. My computer doesn't play well with other devices.

Seems it has issues.

After numerous times trying to argue and coaxing my computer to allow his mp3 player to co-exist. Patrick gave up. Throwing the helpless little device down on the desk, and stormed out. Well, the computer isn't the only one with device issues.

I had gathered from both children that our computer besides being possessed wasn't allowing the mp3 because we 'I' had updated our windows media player to version 11 last week. Now, I have to agree that version 11 is on CRACK! It would only work if you were connected to the internet. It changed all my settings and was just plain obnoxious to try and use. I then had the brilliant yet flawed idea that I would uninstall version 11 (which I thought was version 10) and then download version 9. Which the mp3 player really wanted and needed to play with. After searching and investigating and trying to download the FREAKING version 9. I find out that NOPE can't do it because I have version 11. I KNOW THIS!!! Ok, take a breath.
I did uninstall 11. Giving me 10. I then tried to unistall 10 thinking I could then get 9. Nope, no deal. Ten was my number and they weren't gonna let me have nine. I then realize that 10 was the freaking version I had had before. Before mp3 player from hell came into my life.
Finally after searching for ever to find where my computer had hidden all my downloaded songs. I had the most brilliant idea ever. I WOULD READ THE INSTRUCTIONS MYSELF. What an idea. Why hadn't I thought of that before. I would read them, find out what type of blood this thing needed and from what rock I would have to get it from.
LOW AND BEHOLD the first line in the instruction booklet says..."YOU DO NOT NEED TO INSERT DISC IF YOU HAVE WINDOWS XP."
This is indeed what I have. I then had to uninstall the device software. I then kept reading. To my understanding no one who doesn't design space probes or talks to on a daily basis a traveling satellite millions of miles out in space would not understand what this little Nazi mp3 player needed. It wanted you to copy, paste, move, have sex with its little Hitler self.
By accident, I somehow managed to satisfy it. It is working. I never want to see the little bastard mp3 player again.

All I have to say is...YOU BETTER STAY AWAY FROM THE WASHING MACHINE. I washed and killed the last one that was left in a pants pocket. I killed it. I drowned it, I dried it and I threw away its little body that was in a dozen pieces. And little mp3 player... Remember. I liked the last one.
Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

The Weather

Ok, I know it is October. I also know the weather can change at a drop of a hat. But come on people! One day it is eighty and wonderful. By nightfall it is breezy and by midnight it is tornado alley. Yep, we had tornado weather.

I came out of Kohls and it was wonderful, a warm breeze. Lightening lit up the sky, a lightshow I have never seen. It would light up in a electric blue. Then a few seconds later a tan color. It was amazing. As I got closer to home it was more windy. The trees were bent over touching the ground. The tornado formed over my house I'm told but didn't come all the way down. It did form on the other side of town, it ripped up trees and knocked down powerlines.

No school for our town and two towns next to us. It also blew apart the grain elevator.
Today the weather is seventy. Tonight it is gonna be 39. Yes, thirty freaking nine. What the hell? Mother nature needs to pick a season and go with it for pete sakes.