I hate hospitals. I used to not mind them so much. But within the last ten years they just seem so 'full' if you know what I mean. If I surround myself in white light before I go in, I can mostly get in and out without being bombarded by 'feelings'.
About five years ago I was in the ICU for five days. I was taken in by ambulance and kept. They believed I was having a heart attack. I was forty.
After five days they sent me home with the diagnoses that I had Vertigo. Man, not even in the same area as the heart. But, I was really out of it for those days. I couldn't get up by myself because my blood pressure was so low. I would stand up, and down I would go. I was just really out of whack.
I had two really strange things happen to me while I was there. At the time they seemed so real I didn't even question them till after they they had happened.
The first was a patient I couldn't see, but I could hear. This person would just yell for help. Argue with the staff. And yell for the nurse. I think it was a woman, but I'm not sure. But this went on all one night. It was annoying. I couldn't figure out why no one was going to shut this person up. They could at least go and see what the problem was. I never heard a nurse talking to this person. But I could hear the person arguing with whomever.
The next day I asked the day nurse WHF? Where was this person who obvioulsly was not happy. Were they just being a bitch or was there some other reason why they ingored them?
The nurse said she had no idea who I could be talking about. But she would ask the night nurse. Maybe this person only became loud at night.
The night nurse who had been on the two nights before said there was no such person. I damn well knew there was. I had to cover my head with my pillow to shut her up.
That night she started in again. I sat up and yelled. "Will you just be quiet. Some of us can hear you. Look around. Is there a light someplace? Go into already. I'm sorry that's all I can do for you. I can' get up either." She shut up. And I didn't hear anymore from her the rest of the time I was there. I don't know if maybe she had indeed gone into the light. Or just figured she'd better be quiet. LOL.
There was also a little boy. Maybe four or five. I looked out into the hall one evening during visiting hours and there he stood looking into my room. It was as if he was walking down the hall and just stopped. Really cute. Blond. He just stood there watching me. He didn't say anything. Just stood there. I wondered where he had come from? Was he visiting someone? Had he wandered out of a room? He was too little to be on his own. I looked away and then he was gone. I figured he had just walked out of my view. The next day I saw him again. This time he smiled at me. I smiled back.
I asked the nurse again who the little boy was? She said children weren't allowed on the ICU floor. I must have dreamt him. Yeah, right. She must have thought I was nuts or on really good drugs. I know I wasn't dreaming. I know I say him, twice. He must have come back because I could see him. I went home the next day and I didn't get the chance to say goodbye to him, or find out who he was.
I have often wondered though who he was attached too. Was he a patient as some point? Was he attached to someone visiting? Or was he waiting for someone to cross over? He didn't scare me at all though.
This past summer when Patrick was hurt I didn't even think about it as I walked into that ER. I didn't have time to deal with any other souls, his was the only one I had to keep safe. I didn't encounter anything strange, besides that the room did seem really crowded when I walked in. But, four of my guides had been gone for a week and I know beyond any doubt they were with him. They have orders that if any of my kids are in danger or need them, they are to GO and go right that instant and protect them. And I can feel it when they go. I feel... Empty and tired. It's a weird feeling. To suddendly feel drained. And I know they are gone. They had been missing all week. I had even mentioned at class wondering if I had done something to piss them off? it hadn't occurred to me they were with Patrick. When Tom came running into the house saying that the ambulance that had gone past the house was for my son, I knew where they had gone. I wasn't freaking out. But, on the way to the hospital, thirty minutes away. I did feel Paul touch my shoulder. He was back with me. And when I walked into that cubicle. I could feel everyone else there.
Once I saw where he had hit the mailbox and missed the telephone pole by feet. I knew exactly what they were doing. If he had to experience this for what ever reason, they were making sure he it the thing that would give. The mailbox. He still bounced and rolled fifty feet.
I will forever be grateful that 'someone' protected him.