Saturday, December 16, 2006


Fear is a strange thing. There is rational fear and unrational fear. Both are real. At least to the person experiencing it. I have a few things that freak the bajesus out of me, and I'm warning you now, a few of them fall into the unrational category.

1. Rats. I don't trust them, I don't like anything about them. In fact I believe they have hidden agendas. Like taking over the known universe. They have been around for ever and will probably be among the last thing left standing after we are all dead and gone. Roaches being the other survivor.

2. People or things looking into my windows. I don't care if my windows ARE ten feet off the ground and the person or thing would have to be twelve feet tall to look in. I believe they still can. I just get all creepy just thinking there are eyeballs watching me from outside. ewwww.

3. I fear being one of the last people left after some catastrophic occurrence and having to save and protect my children. I don't want to have to worry if they have food and medicine and protect us all from the human animals that will no doubt be scrounging about. I believe this might be a human coping fear. We all have the urge to survive and protect our young. I just don't want to have to do it just yet, not like that.

4. I fear dying and being lost. I deal with enough spirits that are earthbound. I don't want to be one of them. I want to see and go into the bright light, lickady split. Don't hem hawing, no waffling back and forth. There it is, there I go! End of that earthly story, moving right along to the next plain or life.

5. I really don't want to be born again and have to do this all over again. I enjoy my gifts. I really do. And I don't want to have to go through another lifetime without them, and crap ass, I don't want to have to live through another lifetime that is worse than some I've had. I WANT THE GOOD STUFF. THE REALLY GOOD STUFF.
But in all honesty, this life hasn't been that bad. Yeah, sure bad things happen, we get hurt, we squander time that we should have been using for other things. But we also learn lessons, realize different dreams we didn't even know we had until we were slapped in the face with them.
I love my children, I love my friends. I haven't had a horrible life, I really haven't. Compared to some, mine has been down right sunny and peachy.

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