Last night at Kohls I kept folding and straightening the same cubes and shelves. No matter how straight and neat I thought they were, when I would walk away from them and look back they would be disheveled and uneven. It was making me nuts. HOW could I have just thought they were all folded and neat while standing in front of them, but when I would move to the side or further down the aisle I would see how messed they were.
After redoing some several times I finally had one of those OH WOW moments.
I realized that those shelves were like my life. While I'm standing in front of it all, it appears to be neat and together. But if I take a few steps to the side and look at it, I see just how messed up it all is.
I stood there looking at a shelf, I had finally 'gotten' it. I could hear my guides sigh. "Holy shit she finally gets what were trying to show her" I am a little slow on the uptake sometimes. They must go crazy trying to get my attention sometimes.
Now, I have to reorganize my life. I need to write more, I will finish this book I've been writing for forever.
I have to get rid of a big old dead weight that seems to be hanging around my neck like an albatross.
Just thought I'd share my ah ha moment.
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Monday, December 25, 2006
We survived
We're home, we're alive and in one piece.
The buffet was actually alright. My son in law must have done the cooking. LOL.
There was platters of snack things, brushetta and bread. Homemade potato skins and a lot more. I have to say he makes a killer brushetta.
All the in laws should up, including mine. And YES we played a game, Cranium. Which was alright. Just try to do a charade with the answer being THE KARATE KID and make two teenagers get it. Geesh. I jumped up on one leg, held my hands up and hoped someone would get the bird move he does in the movie. Then the paint brush move and the WAX ON, WAX OFF MOVE. Her father in law finally did get it. LOL. We lost.
One moment was a little terrifying though. At least for my daughters. Her mother in law asked me in front of the room if I was still writing? My daughters looked panicked. What did they expect me to say? 'Why yes, I still am writing gay porn." Erotica, Jodie says. Erotica, not porn. What's the difference really, I ask ya? LOL.
I sidestepped the porn and said, "yes, but not much because I've been working a ton." she then asked "what do you write again?" again panic. "Oh, a little of this and that. Is there anymore pie?"
And no pagans or witches were injured or berated. I was pleased.
The buffet was actually alright. My son in law must have done the cooking. LOL.
There was platters of snack things, brushetta and bread. Homemade potato skins and a lot more. I have to say he makes a killer brushetta.
All the in laws should up, including mine. And YES we played a game, Cranium. Which was alright. Just try to do a charade with the answer being THE KARATE KID and make two teenagers get it. Geesh. I jumped up on one leg, held my hands up and hoped someone would get the bird move he does in the movie. Then the paint brush move and the WAX ON, WAX OFF MOVE. Her father in law finally did get it. LOL. We lost.
One moment was a little terrifying though. At least for my daughters. Her mother in law asked me in front of the room if I was still writing? My daughters looked panicked. What did they expect me to say? 'Why yes, I still am writing gay porn." Erotica, Jodie says. Erotica, not porn. What's the difference really, I ask ya? LOL.
I sidestepped the porn and said, "yes, but not much because I've been working a ton." she then asked "what do you write again?" again panic. "Oh, a little of this and that. Is there anymore pie?"
And no pagans or witches were injured or berated. I was pleased.
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Christmas eve hell
Oh and my Christmas Eve hell just keeps getting better and better.
The kids and I are going to my oldest daughters for Christmas Eve. She insisted on having it, gonna make a ham and turkey and blah blah blah. Now it is down to ham sandwiches, from a ham that her inlaws are bringing. I'm bringing two BakerSquare pies, and her husband is making Brushetta. What is she doing? Besides whining? I have no idea, but I guess we will find out.
Now, MY inlaws are coming too. My husbands brother and sister. Oh Joy, oh happy day, I get to sit in the same room with these two for several hours. I may have to do something drastic, tarot anyone? That would make her inlaws run for the holy water I'm sure.
My middle daughter already has announced that she will be being a huge bitch, so not to be surprised. Oh, my spirit guides better be getting plenty of rest these few days left, because I will certainty be expecting them to run interferences.
Oh, they have announced...My daughter and son in law, not the spirit guides, that there will be games. HOLY SHIT! We are not a game playing kind of family. I blame this on the church going in laws.
Can I bring gay porn? How about a short story I've written about Christmas and the love of two men?
...Maybe there is some of that pizza left, if I hurry I might be to green to go and eat ham sandwiches and play games. Hmmm, green pizza and ham? I'll pass on the eggs, unless I can perhaps throw them at someone's head.
No, No I will not throw eggs at peoples heads.
No, I will not stay home and puke in my bed.
I will go, park and walk two miles.
I will go, and be fake, and have a big smile.
All the while thinking of bringing Christmas cheer.
A big big Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
...Bite me!
The kids and I are going to my oldest daughters for Christmas Eve. She insisted on having it, gonna make a ham and turkey and blah blah blah. Now it is down to ham sandwiches, from a ham that her inlaws are bringing. I'm bringing two BakerSquare pies, and her husband is making Brushetta. What is she doing? Besides whining? I have no idea, but I guess we will find out.
Now, MY inlaws are coming too. My husbands brother and sister. Oh Joy, oh happy day, I get to sit in the same room with these two for several hours. I may have to do something drastic, tarot anyone? That would make her inlaws run for the holy water I'm sure.
My middle daughter already has announced that she will be being a huge bitch, so not to be surprised. Oh, my spirit guides better be getting plenty of rest these few days left, because I will certainty be expecting them to run interferences.
Oh, they have announced...My daughter and son in law, not the spirit guides, that there will be games. HOLY SHIT! We are not a game playing kind of family. I blame this on the church going in laws.
Can I bring gay porn? How about a short story I've written about Christmas and the love of two men?
...Maybe there is some of that pizza left, if I hurry I might be to green to go and eat ham sandwiches and play games. Hmmm, green pizza and ham? I'll pass on the eggs, unless I can perhaps throw them at someone's head.
No, No I will not throw eggs at peoples heads.
No, I will not stay home and puke in my bed.
I will go, park and walk two miles.
I will go, and be fake, and have a big smile.
All the while thinking of bringing Christmas cheer.
A big big Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
...Bite me!
Christmas dinner?
Christmas dinner anyone? I'm having roasted dog on a spit! Two dogs if I can figure out which one is getting roasted.
Reason? One of the two got up on my bed and ATE holes in my electric blanket and ate through the cords. I am so gonna cook one of them.
Those damn blankets aren't cheap, and I don't have an extra fifty bucks just lying around. My blanket fund has run dry and the cash box has moths flying out of it.
...In other news...
I've had food poisoning. Not fun. I've never puked and pooped so much in my life. I swear!
The kids and I went Christmas mall shopping, made the big mistake of eating pizza in the food court, Sabarros I think that is how it is spelt, and BAM two hours later I was pulled off the highway and hugging the pavement. I bet passers by thought I was drunk. I then...(feel free to skip ahead here) peed on myself while puking piles and piles. Then had to find the nearest bathroom and sit there for about twenty minutes. I won't go into what that was all about. You poor people have endured enough of my body functions for one day.
Least to say I finally am feeling like I might live, then to have the blanket eaten. Those dogs have no idea I don't have a problem roasting them, hell I think I might have already eaten half cooked dog or something.
How many place settings should I set??
Reason? One of the two got up on my bed and ATE holes in my electric blanket and ate through the cords. I am so gonna cook one of them.
Those damn blankets aren't cheap, and I don't have an extra fifty bucks just lying around. My blanket fund has run dry and the cash box has moths flying out of it.
...In other news...
I've had food poisoning. Not fun. I've never puked and pooped so much in my life. I swear!
The kids and I went Christmas mall shopping, made the big mistake of eating pizza in the food court, Sabarros I think that is how it is spelt, and BAM two hours later I was pulled off the highway and hugging the pavement. I bet passers by thought I was drunk. I then...(feel free to skip ahead here) peed on myself while puking piles and piles. Then had to find the nearest bathroom and sit there for about twenty minutes. I won't go into what that was all about. You poor people have endured enough of my body functions for one day.
Least to say I finally am feeling like I might live, then to have the blanket eaten. Those dogs have no idea I don't have a problem roasting them, hell I think I might have already eaten half cooked dog or something.
How many place settings should I set??
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Different types of Christmas Carols
CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR THE DISTURBED
1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?
2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are
3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas
4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
5. Manic - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and.....
6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why
9. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy oooh look at the Froggy - can I have a chocolate? Why is France so far away?
10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?
2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are
3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas
4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
5. Manic - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and.....
6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why
9. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy oooh look at the Froggy - can I have a chocolate? Why is France so far away?
10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Monday, December 18, 2006
AURA CLASS
Last week we had a special speaker and teacher come to our spirit class. She taught us about Aura's and how to see them. It was pretty cool. It took awhile to 'see' them, but as the night went on it was very cool.
After she showed us what to look for and what to not look for or at we could see the strings and colors somewhat.
We then took turns sitting in a chair while everyone else told what they saw around us in the darkened room. Everything from changing forms to blank features. Past lives to animal guides.
It wasn't what I was expecting but I enjoyed it anyhow.
Oh, one of the exercises we had to do was to make a ball with our hands, then expand the energy till we could see or feel it. Then move our hands apart and watch the energy expand and move. The stringy effect was amazing. When the teacher did it you really could see the energy pulsate and charge.
I know you guys think all this is crazy, but its better than beating someone to death at Kohls. I've about had it with employees who don't do a damn thing. So, the calmer I stay, the longer they can breath around me. ;)
After she showed us what to look for and what to not look for or at we could see the strings and colors somewhat.
We then took turns sitting in a chair while everyone else told what they saw around us in the darkened room. Everything from changing forms to blank features. Past lives to animal guides.
It wasn't what I was expecting but I enjoyed it anyhow.
Oh, one of the exercises we had to do was to make a ball with our hands, then expand the energy till we could see or feel it. Then move our hands apart and watch the energy expand and move. The stringy effect was amazing. When the teacher did it you really could see the energy pulsate and charge.
I know you guys think all this is crazy, but its better than beating someone to death at Kohls. I've about had it with employees who don't do a damn thing. So, the calmer I stay, the longer they can breath around me. ;)
Strange dreams
My dreams seem to be getting even more bizarre, if that is possible.
This morning I awoke from a very disjointed and bizarre dream. It seemed to be about twenty years ago and my husband and I still even liked each other. LOL.
We were in this open biker type bar. All black and leather and weird people. We stayed there for awhile then went into this other room. There this strange little guy came up to me at the bar and started pretending to claw at me, like a cat. I became annoyed with this and told him to stop. He didn't stop. I could feel myself changing...sorta like another personality coming on. I could feel my attitude becoming dangerous, more sinister, maybe. Can't really describe the feeling, except to say I felt very powerful and strong. Wicked even.
The next time he tried to bat at me, I clawed him back, drawing blood. I then grabbed him up, turned him upside down, all in an instant and pounded his head and shoulders into the floor. He lay there twitching, dying. I knew I had broken his neck and I didn't feel bad at all. Everyone was staring at me and all I said calmly was..."He wanted to play cat. I killed him like a cat would kill." my eyes even had cat slits in them for a second.
My husband and I then went into a different room. There I found...(Ok, this is REALLY bizarre) Rows of people, men and women, all engaging in watersports. They were all peeing on each other. I didn't want to be pissed on and I said so. I walked to the door and waited for my husband to follow. Once he did we left.
The next strange part was we were in this alley of sorts, but there were doors. We accidentally rang a doorbell and this old gypsy woman opened it, and was frightened of me. She told me that she couldn't 'read me' it wouldn't be right. My husband looked at me and wanted to know what she meant. I laughed and cockily said..."Because I'm more psychic than she is. She is afraid to read me because I'm more powerful than she is.
The rest of the dream came in disjointed parts, things about my kids, other kids I didn't know and parts that came and went that weren't linear.
I don't know what it means, but I'm sure it indicates at some level that I'm changing. I'm growing. But changing into what? A cocky, cat witch who will break your neck if you screw with me? And don't pee on me either, just ask about what happened to the last guy who pawed at me. LOL.
This morning I awoke from a very disjointed and bizarre dream. It seemed to be about twenty years ago and my husband and I still even liked each other. LOL.
We were in this open biker type bar. All black and leather and weird people. We stayed there for awhile then went into this other room. There this strange little guy came up to me at the bar and started pretending to claw at me, like a cat. I became annoyed with this and told him to stop. He didn't stop. I could feel myself changing...sorta like another personality coming on. I could feel my attitude becoming dangerous, more sinister, maybe. Can't really describe the feeling, except to say I felt very powerful and strong. Wicked even.
The next time he tried to bat at me, I clawed him back, drawing blood. I then grabbed him up, turned him upside down, all in an instant and pounded his head and shoulders into the floor. He lay there twitching, dying. I knew I had broken his neck and I didn't feel bad at all. Everyone was staring at me and all I said calmly was..."He wanted to play cat. I killed him like a cat would kill." my eyes even had cat slits in them for a second.
My husband and I then went into a different room. There I found...(Ok, this is REALLY bizarre) Rows of people, men and women, all engaging in watersports. They were all peeing on each other. I didn't want to be pissed on and I said so. I walked to the door and waited for my husband to follow. Once he did we left.
The next strange part was we were in this alley of sorts, but there were doors. We accidentally rang a doorbell and this old gypsy woman opened it, and was frightened of me. She told me that she couldn't 'read me' it wouldn't be right. My husband looked at me and wanted to know what she meant. I laughed and cockily said..."Because I'm more psychic than she is. She is afraid to read me because I'm more powerful than she is.
The rest of the dream came in disjointed parts, things about my kids, other kids I didn't know and parts that came and went that weren't linear.
I don't know what it means, but I'm sure it indicates at some level that I'm changing. I'm growing. But changing into what? A cocky, cat witch who will break your neck if you screw with me? And don't pee on me either, just ask about what happened to the last guy who pawed at me. LOL.
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Fears
Fear is a strange thing. There is rational fear and unrational fear. Both are real. At least to the person experiencing it. I have a few things that freak the bajesus out of me, and I'm warning you now, a few of them fall into the unrational category.
1. Rats. I don't trust them, I don't like anything about them. In fact I believe they have hidden agendas. Like taking over the known universe. They have been around for ever and will probably be among the last thing left standing after we are all dead and gone. Roaches being the other survivor.
2. People or things looking into my windows. I don't care if my windows ARE ten feet off the ground and the person or thing would have to be twelve feet tall to look in. I believe they still can. I just get all creepy just thinking there are eyeballs watching me from outside. ewwww.
3. I fear being one of the last people left after some catastrophic occurrence and having to save and protect my children. I don't want to have to worry if they have food and medicine and protect us all from the human animals that will no doubt be scrounging about. I believe this might be a human coping fear. We all have the urge to survive and protect our young. I just don't want to have to do it just yet, not like that.
4. I fear dying and being lost. I deal with enough spirits that are earthbound. I don't want to be one of them. I want to see and go into the bright light, lickady split. Don't hem hawing, no waffling back and forth. There it is, there I go! End of that earthly story, moving right along to the next plain or life.
5. I really don't want to be born again and have to do this all over again. I enjoy my gifts. I really do. And I don't want to have to go through another lifetime without them, and crap ass, I don't want to have to live through another lifetime that is worse than some I've had. I WANT THE GOOD STUFF. THE REALLY GOOD STUFF.
But in all honesty, this life hasn't been that bad. Yeah, sure bad things happen, we get hurt, we squander time that we should have been using for other things. But we also learn lessons, realize different dreams we didn't even know we had until we were slapped in the face with them.
I love my children, I love my friends. I haven't had a horrible life, I really haven't. Compared to some, mine has been down right sunny and peachy.
1. Rats. I don't trust them, I don't like anything about them. In fact I believe they have hidden agendas. Like taking over the known universe. They have been around for ever and will probably be among the last thing left standing after we are all dead and gone. Roaches being the other survivor.
2. People or things looking into my windows. I don't care if my windows ARE ten feet off the ground and the person or thing would have to be twelve feet tall to look in. I believe they still can. I just get all creepy just thinking there are eyeballs watching me from outside. ewwww.
3. I fear being one of the last people left after some catastrophic occurrence and having to save and protect my children. I don't want to have to worry if they have food and medicine and protect us all from the human animals that will no doubt be scrounging about. I believe this might be a human coping fear. We all have the urge to survive and protect our young. I just don't want to have to do it just yet, not like that.
4. I fear dying and being lost. I deal with enough spirits that are earthbound. I don't want to be one of them. I want to see and go into the bright light, lickady split. Don't hem hawing, no waffling back and forth. There it is, there I go! End of that earthly story, moving right along to the next plain or life.
5. I really don't want to be born again and have to do this all over again. I enjoy my gifts. I really do. And I don't want to have to go through another lifetime without them, and crap ass, I don't want to have to live through another lifetime that is worse than some I've had. I WANT THE GOOD STUFF. THE REALLY GOOD STUFF.
But in all honesty, this life hasn't been that bad. Yeah, sure bad things happen, we get hurt, we squander time that we should have been using for other things. But we also learn lessons, realize different dreams we didn't even know we had until we were slapped in the face with them.
I love my children, I love my friends. I haven't had a horrible life, I really haven't. Compared to some, mine has been down right sunny and peachy.
Monday, December 11, 2006
THE TEN TENORS
Jodie, her mom, her daughter and my daughter and myself went to see the TEN TENORS again yesterday. This is the third time for Megan and I and four for Jodie and her mom.
We just love those guys. It is hard to describe them. They aren't opera purists. And some people just don't get that. There is always at least one person or couple who get up and leave during the performance. I find that rude and horribly snobbish.
These guys blend opera and a bit of comedy. It blends really well.
If you ever have the chance to see them. Then by all means please do, you will not be disappointed. They are wonderful.
We just love those guys. It is hard to describe them. They aren't opera purists. And some people just don't get that. There is always at least one person or couple who get up and leave during the performance. I find that rude and horribly snobbish.
These guys blend opera and a bit of comedy. It blends really well.
If you ever have the chance to see them. Then by all means please do, you will not be disappointed. They are wonderful.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Semi Home made
Has anyone else ever seen this show? It is one of the HGTV shows. The host is a woman named Sandra Lee.
Her premise is that you don't have to make everything from scratch. That yes indeedy you can prepare ahead, use canned items if need be, and just cut corners if you can.
Ok, the premise had me at hello. I like to cut corners when I can. Hell, if I could just open a can of beans and throw it with spoons on the table, I'd do it! But, my family frowns on such behavior so I try to curb that urge.
Well, I have successfully been able to watch maybe...Two, of her shows. Five minutes in I want to shove her head into the oven.
Now, let me explain my little blog readers, just why she annoys me. (doesn't everything and everybody bug me? Yes, yes they do.)
This woman wants us to believe she is actually making that Christmas Ham with all the sides while wearing white and red cashmere. She has on the June Clever pearls, and I betcha her nails cost more than I make in a while. A dollar to donuts I bet they do!
She isn't exactly like Martha, but there IS that little bit of "My shit doesn't stink in the least because I eat potpourri and it keeps the smell away" attitude.
My husband came through the house one day while her show was on, he stopped and watched her standing next to a huge ass roast, with a hand mixer in one hand 'pretending' to make mashed potatoes while wearing a two hundred dollar low neck sweater. He just smirked. "Yeah, she's gonna make dinner dressed like that." then he walked away hating her too I'm sure.
You have to check her out if you get the chance. Just for the laughs, I'm sure.
Her premise is that you don't have to make everything from scratch. That yes indeedy you can prepare ahead, use canned items if need be, and just cut corners if you can.
Ok, the premise had me at hello. I like to cut corners when I can. Hell, if I could just open a can of beans and throw it with spoons on the table, I'd do it! But, my family frowns on such behavior so I try to curb that urge.
Well, I have successfully been able to watch maybe...Two, of her shows. Five minutes in I want to shove her head into the oven.
Now, let me explain my little blog readers, just why she annoys me. (doesn't everything and everybody bug me? Yes, yes they do.)
This woman wants us to believe she is actually making that Christmas Ham with all the sides while wearing white and red cashmere. She has on the June Clever pearls, and I betcha her nails cost more than I make in a while. A dollar to donuts I bet they do!
She isn't exactly like Martha, but there IS that little bit of "My shit doesn't stink in the least because I eat potpourri and it keeps the smell away" attitude.
My husband came through the house one day while her show was on, he stopped and watched her standing next to a huge ass roast, with a hand mixer in one hand 'pretending' to make mashed potatoes while wearing a two hundred dollar low neck sweater. He just smirked. "Yeah, she's gonna make dinner dressed like that." then he walked away hating her too I'm sure.
You have to check her out if you get the chance. Just for the laughs, I'm sure.
Cold, really cold.
It is cold! I mean COLD. A well diggers ass, cold. A witches tit, cold. I don't like cold. I don't like hot either, so I'm screwed where ever I should live I suppose.
My truck doesn't like cold either it appears. This past week, I had to replace the fuel pump and it's housing. 576.00. At least the gas meter works now. It's amazing, I can actually see how much gas in it, and I don't have to keep track with the miles. That drove me crazy.
And when it gets this cold, it begins to make weird creaky noises. Hey, just like me! Were a matched set, I guess.
My truck doesn't like cold either it appears. This past week, I had to replace the fuel pump and it's housing. 576.00. At least the gas meter works now. It's amazing, I can actually see how much gas in it, and I don't have to keep track with the miles. That drove me crazy.
And when it gets this cold, it begins to make weird creaky noises. Hey, just like me! Were a matched set, I guess.
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