Grabbys

And here is the anticipated Grabby outfit! Tony Buff and his take amazing Cassock.

And as of his last post on Twitter. Folsom Flesh has won best fetish film. And his pup, Element had the honor of excepting the award for BLACKBALLED 7 for which he starred in. Way to go Pup!

I.M.L has begun

And I.M.L 2010 has begun. Leather mart opens at noon. Shibari class with Tony Buff and Derek DaSilva is this afternoon. And I believe the San Fran party is tonight. Which should prove to be amazing.

Instead of Dorothy saying "Lions and tigers and bears, oh my" While walking the Leathermart I can envision myself murmuring "Whips and paddles and floggers, oh my".

All though, I'll bethcha there will be a lot of Bears in attendance as well. ;)

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Helllooo out there

Hellloooo out there in Blogger land. I know it has been a long time-no see. I doubt there is even anyone who still checks in, but in the off chance there is...HELLO!

I finally have a new computer. I hate windows 7. Maybe hate is a harsh word. Windows 7 confuses me. lol. I loose things. It eats things and send things out into the Ethernet never to be seen again. And usually it is the most important things that disappear.

I have blog posts ready to go, so check back in...OK? yeah, I'm sure you all will. lol.

I have missed you all. I really have. Now if I can just figure out how to keep all the spam from being added to my comments I'd be a step ahead.

I struggle

I struggle.
I struggle with many things. Time. Money or lack there of. I struggle with being a mom, almost grandma and work.
But the thing I think I struggle with the most is who I am and who I want to be.
See, I have no sensor when it comes to just saying what pops in my head and out of my mouth. I just let it fly most of the time. But, I find that I am trying more and more frequently to suppress that urge….and that BUGS THE SHIT OUT OF ME!

I want to be that 80 year old woman who farts and yells at the manager at the grocery store because he is trying to make her stop running over people in the motorized wheelchair. “Get out of my way, or YOU’LL BE NEXT box boy!” Ya know?
That is who I think I am destined to be. I believe at that age I will have earned the right to be pissy and argumentative. And no one will have the right to take it away from me.

I still have a few years before I am THAT 80 year old me. But, I still want to yell at kids at work. I have no problem with giving them stink eye and have the urge to make the little shit ones want to cry. I think, if their parents aren’t watching them and have dumped them in the toy department or on the fitting room sofas. There little asses belong to me. And if they are tearing up my department after I’ve told them to stop i.e running, jumping, climbing, and opening packages, I have the right to throw them out on there little spoiled, snotty asses, or at the very least tell them “Santa Clause hates You, and he is on his cell calling the Easter Bunny as we speak. You’re not getting ANYTHING this year kid. Now whine about that.” And just walk away.

It is really hard for me to censor myself sometimes. And I feel that it is not fair that I should have too. I was sitting in a doctor’s office about a year ago and there was a little boy, maybe five. And he was on the floor, crawling around, making a fish face with those fish lips and doing something akin to swimming with his arms. This older woman walks in, takes one look down at the little boy and says. “What are you supposed to be? A fish?” the little boy didn’t miss a beat. He continued to stare at her, and just sucked in his jaws, with the fish lips. She responded “Yep, fish it is.” And walked away. I loved her!

Dead relative

Anyone who has known me for awhile now, knows about ‘death’ week. This is from October 25 to November 1st. My dad passed on Oct 25, my mom Oct 30 and my only sibling, an older brother on Nov 1st. So, you can see why I call it death week. And no, they weren’t all at the same time. But still…
I’ve always felt that whoever decides these things are holding Oct 28 just for …you all can bite me! Then it would make a complete and creepy week.

My brother and I weren’t close; I had only talked to him a few times in the eight years since our mother died. I loved him, but just didn’t like him much. He felt the same way about me. He always said that I thought I was better than he and his family. Which I’m not sure if I came off acting like that or not. Point being, we weren’t close.

So three years ago when the call came that he had died of a heart attack I was hurt but hurt more by the news that he had died SIX WEEKS EARLIER. Ok. Nothing like letting me know…say SIX FREAKING WEEKS AGO! I can almost say that I wouldn’t have thrown myself onto the casket and wailed…

“WHERE ARE MY F**KING PHOTO ALBUMS YOU THIEF”. Almost.

So, I have no idea where he is buried or even if he’s buried. They could have cremated him and he’s hanging out in someone’s clothes closet.

I can’t help but wonder about that.

If you have a dead relative hanging around in a plastic bag in your closet or cedar chest. Do you pull them out at Holidays? Do you set a place? Do you put them at the head of the table as an honored guest and make a toast? Do you pass them around from house to house for different holidays? What is the etiquette for dead relatives in bags?

Knowing my brother, he was always stoned. I mean really stoned. So, perhaps they didn’t bury him after all. Maybe they smoked him. And I bet he was really good.

Don’t judge me.

Baby shower

Oh dear me. This past Saturday was my daughter’s baby shower. There were maybe 40 people there. That’s a lot of people for a baby shower. But not as many as they kept saying had R.S.V.P.ed. That number was 55. Why would you pad that number? Lol.
The in-laws had rented a room at the aqua center. What ever happened to just having it in the church basement? But on second thought I’m glad they didn’t because then it really would have been THEM against US. And, my friends and I might just have burst into flames several times during the day. Honestly.
All the church ladies were in attendance. What? You don’t now about the church ladies? Well, sit back and let me fill you in. At my daughters wedding shower they actually stood up and gave testimonies on how to keep her husband happy, like….getting up an hour earlier than him so he never sees you without makeup. Like it would kill him. If I have to wash his shitty underwear, then by god he gets to see me with all my blemishes and smell my bad breath.
And it went on and on. We of course seated in the way back. And it is always the same core group of us that cause trouble. Me and my two best friends. Jodie and Michelle. See, we can get in trouble ANYWHERE. It’s always like having an angel and a devil on my shoulders. And I can be lured either way. There is also my sister in law and my other daughter who tries very hard to keep us behaving ourselves. This is also the shower she came dressed in pink terrycloth. What the hell? There are only two occasions to wear terrycloth. The beach and getting out of the shower and this wasn’t that kind of shower. Might have made those church ladies squirm though. Because I’ve never had a problem taking off….ok, I digress…

We get to the baby shower; find a table in the way back. I sit in the middle with my back to the wall, looking out into the room. Michelle sat to my right, Jodie to my left. Everyone else around us at our two tables. Everyone was her friends/in-law family and church ladies. I never know what to say to them. And I really believe they just feel the same. We have nothing in common, except their son and my daughter. And well, the baby girl coming in Dec.
They stood up and asked if they could say Grace and half the room looked at our table. What the hell? I have no problem with you saying grace, lady. Knock your socks off. Well…She started out with “Dear Lord bless our food…” Then it went down hill from there. “Lord. Dear Lord, our Lord, Sweet Lord, Sweet baby Jesus Lord…” I look up and everyone at our table was looking at me like dear in headlights. Someone said “How many times can you say Lord in a three minute grace?” Michelle says “27” “Oh god don’t. Don’t make me start to laugh”
Mother in law then says “Everyone go and get food”

OK, YOU ALL NEED TO UNDERSTAND SOMETHING HERE FIRST.

I had been really sick for two days. I also had a head cold. I couldn’t hear how loud I was talking…are you seeing where I’m going with this???
Everyone starts to get up to get food. I say, thinking only people at our table could hear me, and all know my sarcastic bent. “So, seeing that they got to say Grace, does that mean our (hand gesture indicating our entire table) Coven gets to give the final benediction? Everyone froze. They heard me. Everyone it seems in the room heard me. So, for the rest of the day. Every time I looked up someone was staring at us. Every time.

Baby games were next. Our table won 5 out of 12. One of the games was finish the nursery rhymes. Thank God we didn’t have to stand up and recite them, because Michelle was reciting dirty ones. ‘Old mother Hubbard went to her cupboard…and something about springing a boner…” I looked at her and said. “You know were all going to hell, right?”

One of the many things I brought for the food table besides Chicken and Cake was brownies. Lots and lots of brownies. I should have added one more ingredient. That would have loosened up the church ladies for sure. Lol.

So, who’s in for Christmas? This should be interesting.