The part about being ‘a sensitive’ is that I don’t like some times is that I can’t just go in and out of certain places without feeling strange emotions, seeing, hearing or just sensing that I’m not alone, even when I am in fact alone in a waiting room or elevator.
Case being today at the hospital.
Now, I was sent to an OLD hospital, one that I’ve been in before, different floors, and different settings. ER when my daughter broke her ankle years ago. A floor where my mom was. A few months before she passed. I’ve been in this hospital before, but not on floor two.
It was creepy and clinical in places. The first floor is fine; I felt at ease, nothing or no one was trying to get my attention. But the second I stepped off the elevator and started to make my way down the hall, I sensed something. It was like Stephan Kings, Kingdom Hospital.
It is an Old Catholic hospital that has been around for more years than I even know. There are nuns and crosses and statues everywhere. Although the nuns do seem to keep to the patient areas. Not where I was getting ultrasounds.
The walls were covered in white ceramic tiles. The floor ancient looking, blocks of gray and white. Granted there were parts of the floor that had and were being remodeled. Very nice black and gray with all new wood floors. Very snazzy.
But as I was walking down the hall, alone, NO ONE anywhere, I felt a nun. I looked around for her, but saw no body. I closed my eyes and ‘saw’ her pushing a cart with files. All in her black and white finery. It looked to be in the fifties or sixties maybe.
After I was admitted into the system I was taken to a newly remodeled changing room across from the ultrasound room. I kept looking at a large window and even went over to look out. The room to the floor below me was right there. I sat down and the thoughts of fire and being trapped where intense. I looked around at the nine empty chairs and reasoned…
”If I have to I can use one of these chairs to break out the window and just climb out onto that roof until they can get me down”.
I had no idea why I was so concerned about ‘getting out’. Until I felt a burn victim. He must have died in a fire. He was burned horribly. Fatally I would guess. He was everywhere. I could feel his panic. I could sense his confusion as to where he was. I closed my eyes to put up my protection. When I opened them, I saw for just a second a man in a brown hat sitting across from me. Then he was gone. I closed my eyes again and heard him ask…”What are you doing?” I answered that I was putting up protection to keep the burn guy out of my mind.” He casually said. “Oh, that’s just Stu. He’s alright.” I asked who Mr. Brown hat was and he clearing told me. Herbert Petri.
I then was taken for my tests. I asked the tech how old the hospital was and she said “hard to really say. There are parts a lot older than others. When the old buildings behind us were torn down a few years ago, the lots were incorporated into the hospital to make it larger. So, there are sections that go back to the forties, while others are just a few years old.” Well, that would make sense as to why some sections don’t feel creepy and mental. It was very clinical and cold in parts, while others are new and warm.
When I went back to change I told Herbert goodbye and left.
Have you ever been in a room, or elevator alone, but you damn well know you’re NOT alone? That is how I felt when I got into the elevator. So, crowded. So, alone. I was glad to get out of that place. I wouldn’t stay in that hospital over night; much less have surgery for no amount of money.
Oh, and the nun…her name was Sister Elise.
So, I sensed, Elise, Stu and spoke with Herbert. No wonder I was so tired when I came home.