Come spy into my looking glass.

IML 2010

2010-06-10T15:11:00.000-05:00

People as always were friendly and fun. The Hyatt Regency, Chicago was very clean and beautiful. And IML will be there for the next two years.

I always think of IML as an arena flea market full of KINK.
There were booths for any and all tastes. Leather. Rubber. Latex. You name it….someone had it.
Videos. Cock rings and ball weights. Whips, floggers and bamboo were seen. I dare to say any of your twisted little secret desires probably had a place at one of the booths if you sought it out.

Instead of Lions and tigers and bears. My mantra was Whips and paddles and floggers, oh my.

The first place we hit as always was:
The Titan booth. Love my Titan boys. And PERFORMER OF THE YEAR was Titan Exclusive Tony Buff. You knew I’d to mention him. Didn’t you? No? shame on you.

Oh, and there was the condom bowls again this year. Though not as many as last year. Maybe they knew we’d be back. Hmm, that could be it, I suppose. We did find free samples of I.D LUBE and those went into our free little back packs from the FOLSOM STREET FAIR.

That reminds me, if you should come across some I.D LUBE a word of warning “A little goes a very VERY long way. Trust me!”

Ok, now on to the demos that we saw. The inflatable egg was back and a big hit again this year at the RECON booth. We saw the rubber wall that when the air is sucked out it encases their victims immobile.

There were floggings, light ones. Paddlings with yelps and moans. There were bondage tables with tied down boys. And others being laced into Full sleep sacks at Mr S. Leather.

Oh and there was a fisting cube too. You put a boy in, suck out the air and basically vacuum seal him in. You then can do what you will with him. For ever how long you want to use him.
You can fist him. Use toys on him. Edge him to your little hearts desire.
And keep in mind, the other end has his head sticking out with him not being able to do anything about anything. You can even turn the box so he is on his back with his face facing up… Another entire range of possibilities.
…Ok, I might need to go and dig out some of that I.D LUBE here soon. So let’s move on, shall we?

There was a boy who wore nothing but a jock and was handing out postcard size flyer's…out of his butt crack. Someone had written on his lower back ’TAKE ONE’ He was very lively and fun, bent over a table shaking his ass . A pretty young girl went up and took one…and smelled it. LOL.

Of course the booths and demos were only half the fun. There were those being lead around on leashes and being kidnapped. And the guy who was tied to a column, blindfolded in chastity in a straight jacket. The people are all part of the experience of the LEATHER MARKET at IML.

The dozens upon dozens of booths and spaces were amazing and interesting as always. So very much to take in. I always feel at home. Can’t wait till next year to do it once again.

Grabbys

2010-05-29T21:57:00.004-05:00

And here is the anticipated Grabby outfit! Tony Buff and his take amazing Cassock.

And as of his last post on Twitter. Folsom Flesh has won best fetish film. And his pup, Element had the honor of excepting the award for BLACKBALLED 7 for which he starred in. Way to go Pup!

I.M.L has begun

2010-05-28T11:34:00.004-05:00

And I.M.L 2010 has begun. Leather mart opens at noon. Shibari class with Tony Buff and Derek DaSilva is this afternoon. And I believe the San Fran party is tonight. Which should prove to be amazing.

Instead of Dorothy saying "Lions and tigers and bears, oh my" While walking the Leathermart I can envision myself murmuring "Whips and paddles and floggers, oh my".

All though, I'll bethcha there will be a lot of Bears in attendance as well. ;)

2010-05-20T03:15:00.007-05:00

Ok, peeps, It is that time of year again. What time would that be? I.M.L of course.
Which stands for Mr. International Leather. There is something for every kinkster over memorial weekend.

International Mr. Leather has secured the Hyatt Regency Chicago to host the International Mr. Leather competition during the Memorial Day Weekend for the next three years, starting in 2010. Through the diligence of the management teams of both International Mr. Leather and Hyatt Regency Chicago Leatherfolk from around the world will again enjoy the unprecedented service and style the Hyatt is best known for. Located in the heart of downtown Chicago, The Hyatt Regency Chicago is ideally situated near the Magnificent Mile, considered one of the greatest avenues in the world. Immerse yourself in our “city within a city,” as this downtown Chicago locale links you to Blues, Jazz, World-Class Cuisine, Grant and Millennium Parks, Lake Michigan beaches and Chicago’s ‘front door, The Navy Pier, just steps away. Reservations for the 32nd annual International Leather competition can now be made through the International Mr. Leather website.
In 2010, the annual reunion of the Leather Tribe will begin on Friday, May 28th. The selection of 32nd man to represent the leather community as International Mr. Leather will take place on Sunday, May 30th. The weekend concludes with an all-out victory celebration Monday 31st at the Black and Blue Ball.

IML History
As I look back, the history of International Mr. Leather reads like the history of the leather community itself, though it was never planned that way. It simply grew with the community as we all did, and reflected the best of what the leather community had to offer.
In 1979 no one knew that International Mr. Leather would become a phenomenon. I certainly didn't. Together with my then lover and partner, Dom Orejudos, I simply wanted to take a good thing a bit further. ...
Back then, if you were a leatherman coming to Chicago you were coming to the Gold Coast. One of our most popular promotions, the "Mr. Gold Coast Contest," often drew out-of-town contestants. It was so popular it outgrew the bar so we made plans to move it to one of the Michigan Avenue hotels. Dom thought our change of venue called for a change of name. I suggested "Mr. World Leather." Dom, my artistic genius, didn't like the sound. He suggested "International Mr. Leather" and that was that.
--IML founder Chuck Renslow, from the book International Mr. Leather, 25 Years of Champions
The event that, in 1979, outgrew the Gold Coast bar it originated in, has over the thirty years since then outgrown a number of Chicago hotels; expanded from twelve contestants the first year to now drawing regularly over 50 or 60 from a number of countries; and now yearly draws thousands of assorted leather folk of all ages, races, genders and kinks to what is now felt by many to be the Leather Family Reunion.
Here, we've brought together the names of all our past contestants and sponsors, along with photos of all the winners, and posters and logos - many of them originally drawn by Chuck Renslow's partner Dom Orejudos, aka Etienne.

A Day Pass is required to enter the Leather Market. A $5.00 suggested donation with all proceeds going to the Leather Archives and Museum. (Note: you must be 21 to enter the LEATHERMARKET.

Just a few of the dozens of booths that will be present this year are:

Visit the LA&M in the Vendor Mart Booth #1004 (leather archives and museum)

Bound Gods
Chicago hell fire club
Mr. S. Leather
Priape.inc
Steamworks
Recon.com
And of course TITANMEN.

And as Tony Buff says "OWN YOUR FETISH!"

Helllooo out there

2010-05-12T03:33:00.002-05:00

Hellloooo out there in Blogger land. I know it has been a long time-no see. I doubt there is even anyone who still checks in, but in the off chance there is...HELLO!

I finally have a new computer. I hate windows 7. Maybe hate is a harsh word. Windows 7 confuses me. lol. I loose things. It eats things and send things out into the Ethernet never to be seen again. And usually it is the most important things that disappear.

I have blog posts ready to go, so check back in...OK? yeah, I'm sure you all will. lol.

I have missed you all. I really have. Now if I can just figure out how to keep all the spam from being added to my comments I'd be a step ahead.

I struggle

2009-11-25T02:41:00.002-06:00

I struggle.
I struggle with many things. Time. Money or lack there of. I struggle with being a mom, almost grandma and work.
But the thing I think I struggle with the most is who I am and who I want to be.
See, I have no sensor when it comes to just saying what pops in my head and out of my mouth. I just let it fly most of the time. But, I find that I am trying more and more frequently to suppress that urge….and that BUGS THE SHIT OUT OF ME!

I want to be that 80 year old woman who farts and yells at the manager at the grocery store because he is trying to make her stop running over people in the motorized wheelchair. “Get out of my way, or YOU’LL BE NEXT box boy!” Ya know?
That is who I think I am destined to be. I believe at that age I will have earned the right to be pissy and argumentative. And no one will have the right to take it away from me.

I still have a few years before I am THAT 80 year old me. But, I still want to yell at kids at work. I have no problem with giving them stink eye and have the urge to make the little shit ones want to cry. I think, if their parents aren’t watching them and have dumped them in the toy department or on the fitting room sofas. There little asses belong to me. And if they are tearing up my department after I’ve told them to stop i.e running, jumping, climbing, and opening packages, I have the right to throw them out on there little spoiled, snotty asses, or at the very least tell them “Santa Clause hates You, and he is on his cell calling the Easter Bunny as we speak. You’re not getting ANYTHING this year kid. Now whine about that.” And just walk away.

It is really hard for me to censor myself sometimes. And I feel that it is not fair that I should have too. I was sitting in a doctor’s office about a year ago and there was a little boy, maybe five. And he was on the floor, crawling around, making a fish face with those fish lips and doing something akin to swimming with his arms. This older woman walks in, takes one look down at the little boy and says. “What are you supposed to be? A fish?” the little boy didn’t miss a beat. He continued to stare at her, and just sucked in his jaws, with the fish lips. She responded “Yep, fish it is.” And walked away. I loved her!

Dead relative

2009-11-08T21:15:00.001-06:00

Anyone who has known me for awhile now, knows about ‘death’ week. This is from October 25 to November 1st. My dad passed on Oct 25, my mom Oct 30 and my only sibling, an older brother on Nov 1st. So, you can see why I call it death week. And no, they weren’t all at the same time. But still…
I’ve always felt that whoever decides these things are holding Oct 28 just for …you all can bite me! Then it would make a complete and creepy week.

My brother and I weren’t close; I had only talked to him a few times in the eight years since our mother died. I loved him, but just didn’t like him much. He felt the same way about me. He always said that I thought I was better than he and his family. Which I’m not sure if I came off acting like that or not. Point being, we weren’t close.

So three years ago when the call came that he had died of a heart attack I was hurt but hurt more by the news that he had died SIX WEEKS EARLIER. Ok. Nothing like letting me know…say SIX FREAKING WEEKS AGO! I can almost say that I wouldn’t have thrown myself onto the casket and wailed…

“WHERE ARE MY F**KING PHOTO ALBUMS YOU THIEF”. Almost.

So, I have no idea where he is buried or even if he’s buried. They could have cremated him and he’s hanging out in someone’s clothes closet.

I can’t help but wonder about that.

If you have a dead relative hanging around in a plastic bag in your closet or cedar chest. Do you pull them out at Holidays? Do you set a place? Do you put them at the head of the table as an honored guest and make a toast? Do you pass them around from house to house for different holidays? What is the etiquette for dead relatives in bags?

Knowing my brother, he was always stoned. I mean really stoned. So, perhaps they didn’t bury him after all. Maybe they smoked him. And I bet he was really good.

Don’t judge me.

Baby shower

2009-10-24T05:16:00.001-05:00

Oh dear me. This past Saturday was my daughter’s baby shower. There were maybe 40 people there. That’s a lot of people for a baby shower. But not as many as they kept saying had R.S.V.P.ed. That number was 55. Why would you pad that number? Lol.
The in-laws had rented a room at the aqua center. What ever happened to just having it in the church basement? But on second thought I’m glad they didn’t because then it really would have been THEM against US. And, my friends and I might just have burst into flames several times during the day. Honestly.
All the church ladies were in attendance. What? You don’t now about the church ladies? Well, sit back and let me fill you in. At my daughters wedding shower they actually stood up and gave testimonies on how to keep her husband happy, like….getting up an hour earlier than him so he never sees you without makeup. Like it would kill him. If I have to wash his shitty underwear, then by god he gets to see me with all my blemishes and smell my bad breath.
And it went on and on. We of course seated in the way back. And it is always the same core group of us that cause trouble. Me and my two best friends. Jodie and Michelle. See, we can get in trouble ANYWHERE. It’s always like having an angel and a devil on my shoulders. And I can be lured either way. There is also my sister in law and my other daughter who tries very hard to keep us behaving ourselves. This is also the shower she came dressed in pink terrycloth. What the hell? There are only two occasions to wear terrycloth. The beach and getting out of the shower and this wasn’t that kind of shower. Might have made those church ladies squirm though. Because I’ve never had a problem taking off….ok, I digress…

We get to the baby shower; find a table in the way back. I sit in the middle with my back to the wall, looking out into the room. Michelle sat to my right, Jodie to my left. Everyone else around us at our two tables. Everyone was her friends/in-law family and church ladies. I never know what to say to them. And I really believe they just feel the same. We have nothing in common, except their son and my daughter. And well, the baby girl coming in Dec.
They stood up and asked if they could say Grace and half the room looked at our table. What the hell? I have no problem with you saying grace, lady. Knock your socks off. Well…She started out with “Dear Lord bless our food…” Then it went down hill from there. “Lord. Dear Lord, our Lord, Sweet Lord, Sweet baby Jesus Lord…” I look up and everyone at our table was looking at me like dear in headlights. Someone said “How many times can you say Lord in a three minute grace?” Michelle says “27” “Oh god don’t. Don’t make me start to laugh”
Mother in law then says “Everyone go and get food”

OK, YOU ALL NEED TO UNDERSTAND SOMETHING HERE FIRST.

I had been really sick for two days. I also had a head cold. I couldn’t hear how loud I was talking…are you seeing where I’m going with this???
Everyone starts to get up to get food. I say, thinking only people at our table could hear me, and all know my sarcastic bent. “So, seeing that they got to say Grace, does that mean our (hand gesture indicating our entire table) Coven gets to give the final benediction? Everyone froze. They heard me. Everyone it seems in the room heard me. So, for the rest of the day. Every time I looked up someone was staring at us. Every time.

Baby games were next. Our table won 5 out of 12. One of the games was finish the nursery rhymes. Thank God we didn’t have to stand up and recite them, because Michelle was reciting dirty ones. ‘Old mother Hubbard went to her cupboard…and something about springing a boner…” I looked at her and said. “You know were all going to hell, right?”

One of the many things I brought for the food table besides Chicken and Cake was brownies. Lots and lots of brownies. I should have added one more ingredient. That would have loosened up the church ladies for sure. Lol.

So, who’s in for Christmas? This should be interesting.

Ketiva ve-chatima tovah

2009-09-19T02:41:00.007-05:00

I more often than not feel on the outside looking in. This could be because of what ever is going on inside my brain or I'm still the 'weird' kid you all remember from school. You know you all still remember that one kid who sat by themselves. Ate lunch alone, reading. Yep, that was me. Does that surprise any of you? lol. It shouldn't.
I know it's just me, but I've been seeing glimpses of a white wolf. He's there one second then gone. A few short months ago I would have just acknowledged him as a new spirit guide or power animal. But now, not so sure. My vision isn't as good as it used to be, and the headaches do make things blurry at times. So, not so sure anymore if he's really there for me to see, or if he's something else entirely. Nothing in fact. But I have caught a glimpse of him standing fully in the aisle at work, just for a half second, blink and he was gone. And in my own yard. Dogs seem to act like something is there though.

Tonight we came out of work, and there were BATS. Yes, real ones. We've never seen bats at work. Hell, I'd never seen a real bat anywhere. There were two of them and they were perched on a bench right outside of our store doors...just watching us. As cool as it was, it was very strange. Magical even.

I came home, pulled in and the wolf was standing in my yard. Then he was gone. I'm not sure what he symbolizes or is trying to convey but he has my attention. The bats...those are something new, and EVERYONE saw those. lol.

And Today is Rosh Hashanah. Which is the Hebrew New Year!

Ketiva ve-chatima tovah. translates “May You Be Written and Sealed (in the Book of Life) for a Good (coming) Year’ I extend my wishes to all!

I bring this up and wish you all the best because, well first, because it's the right thing to do and I have been having a really, REALLY difficult week. Bill collectors calling. No money. Bad health. Married daughter acting horrible. Just negativity from all sides crashing down on my head.

But according to my Good Friend Chris Yosef:
"The cosmic window opening over the next 2 days is for everyone! We can use it to literally correct and remove all the negativity we created. According to kabbalah, no matter HOW MANY negative actions we've committed, our true essence the creator within, Never becomes diminished! At Rosh Hashanah we reconnect both to our origin as individuals and also to the origin of humankind, We are literally born anew! Along with doubt another of our negative qualities is the ability to settle. We get ourselves in a difficult situation, and we get use to it. It's kind of like re-arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. The boat is sinking but we try to make the chairs look nicer. We settle. The truth is we have unlimited potential so we should not be comfortable with anything but unlimited results!" He's so wise. lol.

So, you see, I'm still the weird kid. The outsider who says and reveals way too much and gets the eye roll I'm sure. But now I have no problem eating my lunch alone, reading my book. Maybe I'll whistle and my new white wolf friend will come and sit with me.

If anyone has any inside thoughts as to what the message might be they are bringing. Feel free to comment. Comfort perhaps. A sign that they haven't left. Or something entirely different. I don't know at this point.

Blood work

2009-09-13T00:09:00.002-05:00

I have half my tests results back. The blood work and liver functions are all normal. Still waiting on the EEG though.

Dreaming cats. Not dreaming OF cats.

2009-09-13T00:02:00.003-05:00

Tonight the cat was sleeping on my bed. Now, I know dogs dream, I've seen mine dreaming of running, twitching, whining. But cats? honestly, I've never thought about it. But she was sleeping. No twitching, no whiskers moving, not a tense muscle when all of a sudden she went 'MEOW. MEOW" I looked over at her and she was dead sound asleep. She was talking or better yet meowing in her sleep. LOL. It was so funny. Just thought I'd share.

I'm back!

2009-09-01T02:28:00.002-05:00

It's been a long time since I posted, I know, BAD BLOGGER!
Summer came and summer went! the fairs came and went, kids went back to school.
Megan is full time, she is taking her coding classes now. She says she likes those, but the customer service class is boring and a pain in the ass. lol. Then sometime either this year she will take her phlebotomy classes.

Patrick graduated high school and is now taking his EMT classes through the fire dept. I still think at some point he'll take this training into the service.

Probably a good thing that two of my three kids are going into the health field. For myself I go on wed for an extended two hour EEG at Loyola Hospital. I have swelling on the left side of my brain, with no reason for it at this point. But then again, I just found this out when I changed Neurologists. The first one NEVER told me the results of the EEG from last January. Don't you think that at some point he would or should have taken a second one to see if the swelling had increased or decreased? Putz.

My oldest is now 5 1/2 months pregnant and isn't as much a mom zilla as she was, but she is still bitchy. I honestly don't think I was ever that bad with my three. LOL. I even asked my husband if I was that crazy?
She's having a GIRL. Can't wait to meet her. But I would have bet money on a boy. And I'm still wondering if 'he' is just hiding it. Lol.

I promise to post more and more often. I swear!

IML pics

2009-07-14T17:49:00.005-05:00

The boy being laced into the sleep sack. Courtesy of MrSLeather.

This was at the RECON Booth. This was a little thing called an Alien Egg. There was a boy inside. The four sides closed up around him. They opened down like petals on a flower. It appeared to be inflatable and he was sweating buckets. At one point he went down inside for a long period. He had on a rubber hood which looked to keep out all sound and light. And inside the Egg it must have been a sensory deprivation experience. We watched for awhile, it was really interesting. They would move him around. Bang on the sides, which would cause the Egg to vibrate and jiggle. Reach in and touch and rub him. Then when he would start to struggle and move they would let him be to calm down and 'go back into his head space'.

They then took the petals down. Finally taking him out (I have no idea how long they had been taking him in and out of the Egg at this point either) When they removed him, he couldn't hardly stand on his own and needed to be helped to stand and walk. Really wild.

...and This guy.... Well, was just standing there. lol. I hope he was part of MrS and didn't belong to someone who just left him on his own. lol.

I wish I had taken a lot more pictures, but honestly it was like being in Oz. There was so much to take in that I forgot to take pictures. And there are pictures that I won't be putting up on here. Privacy people. lol. Not mine, I have nothing to hide! haven't you all figured that out by now? :)-

Journey

2009-07-14T17:07:00.004-05:00

Friend.
Lover.
Soul mate.

Connection.
Desire.
Intensity.

Trust.
Surrender.
Tears.

Capture.
Bound.
Confession.

Pain.
Pleasure.
Release.

Truth.
Love.
Honesty.

Birthday Tattoo

2009-07-07T21:16:00.003-05:00

I was asked today by one of my girlfriends, Michelle "What plans do you have for your birthday? and what do you want?"

Ok, my birthday isn't until late next month, and if she's already thinking about it...well, that's scary. cause it means she's thinking of 'something'. She says she's thinking of taking a small 'trip'

See the tattoo up there? yeah, that was her. lol. Michelle, doesn't do anything 'small'.

For the Tattoo birthday she took me out for a nice lunch. Plied me with alcohol. I don't drink. Then asked me "What do you want for your birthday?" Honest to God. I had never in my life thought of getting a tattoo. Nope not once. And out of my mouth the words came. "A tattoo, maybe a tiny little sun" Well, before I could finish my last sip, I was in the tattoo parlor and was looking at pictures and before I knew it I had picked out this LARGE wolf. Three hours later and with no skin left on my back. I was the owner of said wolf. But I do like him though. Some day maybe I will go back to add more color in the feathers.

Then she asks "Do you have a passport?" ???? WHAT?? no, I have no passport. And I'm not getting one, if my birthday is going to include me being Louise to your Thelma. And if it might include any sort of Mexican Border Patrols in the middle of the night? Thank you...NO!

I can not and will not be driving or God forbid running for any borders clutching my suitcase to my chest, thank you! She giggled. She didn't deny it, but just giggled. I think I might be out of the state that last week in August!

Fetish pic.

2009-07-04T21:17:00.006-05:00

My peeps in Seattle (do they still say Peeps?) http://tonybuff.com/ and http://sextanza.com/
were having a Twitter fetish contest the other night. And needed us to twitter in a pic with some sort of fetish content. Well, the closest thing I might have lying around would have been my 4H animal whips and paraphernalia. But, first I needed to find it all.
So, as I walked from barn to barn collecting it all, my arms getting fuller. My husband on the riding mower was watching me. He stopped and asked me "What are you doing?"
"I'm taking a picture" I said and kept hunting. He followed me into the hog barn. I was bent over at the waist in the show box digging through it throwing things out over my shoulder. Cans of Pig Shine. Pig Paint. Fly swatters. Swine water-ers, all flying out. But I wasn't finding the things I was looking for. See, in MY mind I knew what I wanted for my FETISH picture. The same type of things that could also be used in any kinky bedroom. Not that I've ever thought of them in that way. No, who? Me? no, nah...

"Where is that Red whip?" Where is Megan's Pink Pig stick?" "Why the hell can't I find any of the Steer collars or ropes? don't we have more rope? WHERE ARE THE ROPES?"
By now he was back on the lawnmower. "Why? what is this picture for?" he kept asking.

"Stop asking me a million questions that you don't want the answers too." I told him as I walked to the steer barn. But, he wouldn't stop. He kept nagging. And kept following me on the mower. Asking question after question. Why why why what what what. I finally couldn't take it anymore, and with my arms overflowing with whips, harnesses, halters, and show sticks. I stopped, swung around and just looked him dead in the eye.
"I told you to stop asking me questions you don't want the answers too. So do you really want to know what I need this picture for?" He got all cocky.
"Ok, So, here is what you don't want the answer too. My friends in Seattle want a picture. They are going to a sex party. And are having a fetish photo contest. And I'm sending one in!
These are the same people Jodie and I went downtown to meet at IML Yes, we went down to the leather mart and had one hell of great time with all of the them. I was in HEAVEN! And will be going back next year!
And...I blogged about CONDOMS ON TABLES! And it got picked up by the LEATHER ARCHIVES AND MUSEUM. I was totally honored!...."

He put his hands over his ears and said. "I don't want hear anymore." and motored away.
He acts like he doesn't want to know. But if he really didn't want to know, then he wouldn't have kept asking a million questions about why and what I was doing and following me from barn to barn. Honestly....

Sidenote:
I passed on the Pig feeders. Bowls. Enclosers. Pens and paddocks. THAT picture WOULD have been hard to explain to him. LOL. He would not have gotten that one. Besides, I didn't have any little curly piggy tails...

IML condom table

2009-06-16T23:45:00.001-05:00

There were tables set up throughout the hallways and entryways in the leather market. On them were HUGE bowls of Condoms. All types of Condoms. Different sizes, brands, colors and even some for females. As we came in Jodie and I shyly looked through the bowls and picked out a few and dropped them into our purses. An hour later, we were taking hands full, and by the end we were rummaging through like it was a yard sale, on ten cent day. “Ooh, purple ones.” I exclaimed holding up a packet for her to see. “I have that one” she smiled back. It still makes me giggle just thinking about it.

We had to stop at one point to sign something and a very cute, nearly naked twenty something boy was standing at the booth helping us as we filled out a form, as we pulled out a pen he saw our large collection of by now of condoms and laughed. Jodie blurted out “I have a teenage daughter.” and looked over at me to say something. I responded. “I have an eighteen year old son. He’s gonna find condoms everywhere he goes. In his bed. Every drawer he opens. Every time he opens his glove box. Hell, their gonna fall out of his shoes” The boy just laughed. “Whatever it takes mom” His smile was sweet.

On our way out to leave we hit the last table one more time and loaded up one last time. That’s when we found the female ones. Really? Those surprised us at IML. But we took some of those too. By now, our purses runnith over. But the funniest thing almost happened on the train home. We were sitting talking about all we had seen. Across the aisle were an entire gaggle of senior citizens. The train suddenly lurched sideways and in slow motion my purse started to fall…Jodie and I grabbed for it at the same time. All I could think of was O-M-G ALL THOSE CONDOMS ON THE FLOOR! Red ones, blue ones, purples ones. And I’m talking at least 50 condoms. ALL OVER THE TRAIN FLOOR. What would they have thought? But we grabbed it in time. We both sat there, me clutching the purse to my chest. Jodie breathing hard. Both our eyes wide.
“That was close”
“Yeah it was” We both started to giggle like teenagers. Nothing like having a little secret. Then we sat and read my copy of the newspaper I had picked up. The LEATHER JOURNAL. Oh hell, let them think what they will.

IML Part one

2009-06-16T03:08:00.001-05:00

IML
On the walk to the IML host hotel, the closer we got the closer it became apparent that we were definitely in the minority. This didn’t come as a huge surprise though. Two 35 year old (uh huh, yeah, right, gonna be 35 for another ten years…Yep) straight woman walking towards IML.
As we walked along and we were passed by two leather men and heard “Those are chicks” Jodie and I laughed. We entered IML and another world. And I have to say we could not have asked to have been treated better. Honestly. Everyone treated us with kindness and respect. From the men at the reception desk to the cute guy who waved us in ala a genie from Aladdin.

Even when I had to use the CO-ED bathroom. If the boy’s didn’t mind I didn’t mind. And when I say BOY. I don’t mean literally a boy, or little boy. A boy can be any age, or any gender actually. But, for this post, let’s just say male, over 21.

We stood at the top of the steps looking out and down on the leather market. Imagine a flea market, with aisle upon aisle of x-rated goods. The shoppers, in leather and rubber and naked butts everywhere. We even saw a few superheroes thrown in. Then imagine people trying on items and getting fitted for harnesses, and jocks and corsets oh my. And all the while videos are playing all around you. Boys are being zipped into sleep sacks, and rubber cubes and onto modified St Andrew’ Crosses and Jodie and I are walking around taking it all in. I was in HEAVEN.
We walked past a vendor where there were a few men standing who stood about as tall as a doorway who whispered as we walked past. “Those are women. REAL women.” Jodie looked at me. “Do we not look like real woman?” She asked. I laughed looking down at my sizable chest. “Maybe it’s my boobs. Hell, if they were fake, you’d think they’d be standing at better attention” I told her. We continued on.
We stopped at the RECON booth to watch a boy being zipped into an alien egg. That was wild.

And we watched demos. We saw a rubber box were a boy was put inside and all the air was sucked out. He was encased inside, everything except his head. Then he was turned on his side, then upside down.
We couldn’t find a flogging demo. I would have watched that. Jodie probably not so much. Although she was a trooper about everything else.
We passed a bunch of rubber clad men passing us. They stopped and looked back at us. “Those are females” At his point. Jodie and I just laughed. We weren’t the only women in the place, but it was close. There were those who were vendors or in leather or with men, we were none of those. So, we were a minority. And there were probably, five of us walking among a thousand men. Ok, maybe there were more than that, but honestly that’s about all the women we saw in our category and I’m stretching the number.
At one point, Jodie said. “I kind of feel like a science experiment.” I laughed and said. “I feel right at home. You could put me on a stage with a crown on my head. I LOVE THIS!” “Of course you do!” She said. And left me standing at the Mr.S leather booth watching a boy getting laced up in a full leather sleep sack.

TRUST

2009-06-15T23:24:00.002-05:00

Back in my twenties, when I was experimenting. I would gladly tie up my boyfriend, anytime he wanted me too. And anytime ‘I’ wanted him to, too.
But, never would I allow him to tie me up. It came down to trust. Sure, I loved him. I would do anything for him. But I didn’t trust him. Not on that kind of level. I’ve never trusted anyone that much.
Back then I also was beginning to get the first discernable memory flashes of some of my past lives. And along with them, the mistrust and fear that came along with the bits and pieces of those memories. At that point there was NO WAY on earth NO ONE was tying me to anything, and that was a simple and non-negotiable fact. Due mostly to the fear I had of being tied up and killed. Mostly drowned. See, I have past life memories, dreams and visions of being a persecuted witch, several times in fact…and most of them include being tied up and drowned. Tied down and drowned, being a male sailor and being flogged and either falling overboard or being thrown over, not sure and drowning. Can ya see where my aversion to water comes from?

Yeah! I don’t do beaches, or pools much either. Don’t really even like to put my tootsies in to deep, anything over my stomach and it just takes my breath away. I barely learnt to swim enough to get though high school. All my friends know, I’m not the person you want to count on to save you if you’re going under for the third time. Sure, I’ll jump in and try to save you, but then someone else might have to save us both.
So, oh yeah, trust. Back when these little gems began to work themselves up and out of my stored memories banks, there was no way I was going to allow myself to be put into any situation where I was not in complete control. And being tied down or left someplace where I wasn’t in control wasn’t going to do it. Now, in theory and fantasy it all works out just fine. But in practice and practicality, not so much.

Over the years I’ve met some very interesting people and groups of people who came in and out of my life, some VERY quickly. I worked in a metaphysical shop for a while. And on occasions was invited by some very nice people to come and join in for different events. But the minute they would say. “Oh it’s being held in the woods. Or on a deserted beach.” No thanks, I think I’ll pass.” I’d say. I’ve seen enough lifetime movies. I’m not gonna be the main course or the sacrificial lamb, thanks, but no. See, I just don’t trust people, not that much, not with my life in their hands, when they hold ALL the cards.
But I probably wouldn’t have gotten into those woods or onto that beach anyhow. My guides would have blocked the doors, had my car breakdown or found some other way to keep me from going. They’d done it before.

Those tiny little voices can be just nagging and a poking atcha feeling. Other times they can be loud and persistent. Both to get my attention. The same goes for when they are silent.

SILENCE can be the loudest sound of all.

I used to just get the uneasy feelings. The ones that made the hair stand up and I just knew that I wasn’t supposed to go. Then they began to whisper, and then talk. Now they just come and say “Yeah, whatever, Tell them, NO WAY! MOVE ALONG, NOT COMING!” you get my point. And yes, they can be outright rude sometimes. My guys are not the sit around on clouds meditating and contemplating kind of guides. I really wonder what kind of notice went out when they were looking for guides for me. And what it said? Because I picture mine as being rebels of sorts in the guide world. The ones that they have trouble placing, and were probably relieved to have found ME to give these guys something to do for awhile. But, according to my main guide James Malcolm when asked how long he had been with me? He gently touched my cheek and said. “Forever” So, that would explain why we argue like an old married couple at times. Lol. Him. I trust. Them. I trust. Which says a lot.

As they screened the people in the store and shielded me from them. They’ve also found and continue to find me some very dear friends. Funny how they work. I met my very Best Friend Jodie online. My guides must have talked to her Guides and she sent me an email…which she had NEVER done before and we connected. (We were members of the same online group. We had seen each other online but had never talked in person or even emailed, she had an extra ticket to an outdoor concert and lived close to me. Her teenage daughter’s friend couldn’t go and she was offering it to me. Hanson if you must know. LOL. I answered her email; we called each other, met at the concert. Try finding someone standing in hundreds of people and all you have to go on is what they are wearing? Lol. Yet I found her. And we had a blast. We’ve been best friends now for 8 years.) Guides did good. They do that now and then when there is someone they need me to meet or connect too. They find a way for me to meet them.

This seems to happening a lot more lately. How does the saying go “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear?” I hope so. New beginnings!

I trust my guides. I trust when they tell me that this year is my year to shed the old, and look to the new. I trust when they say “He is coming.” Who he is? They wouldn’t and still won'telaborate. They said that three or four months ago.

And young guide Paul also let slip “And don’t forget Kensington” and was soundly yelled at for it. “Shut up! Don’t influence her in any way. She has FREE WILL.” James Malcolm scolded Paul. I found that conversation between them very interesting. Yep, this occurred while I was driving that day. They just had this conversation all around me while I’m sitting in the middle of them.
So, who or what is KENSINGTON? A person? A Street? A publishing house? I still don’t know.

But there are things I do know.
I KNOW I can write.
I KNOW I count.
I KNOW I was meant to be here.
And I KNOW I have purpose.
I was given gifts, and I KNOW I WILL NOT WASTE THEM!

I just have to learn to TRUST in MYSELF, that is what this year is about!

Pictures

2009-05-31T13:27:00.004-05:00

Busy week. Here are a few pictures: Top picture is Patrick leaving for Prom. Could double for his future job in the CIA I suppose. lol. It's the glasses.

He finally made it! There was actually a diploma in there. YAY! These are my three babies. From left to right. Megan. Patrick and Deanna. Middle, youngest, oldest. And a secret....Deanna, is having a baby. Yep, I'm gonna be Bubi. I'm so HAPPY!

Patrick's Senior Picture. Gotta say, his was the most unique. He is a vol fireman for our little town. He loves it! He looks about 14 in this pic though. lol. But he is 18.

Yogurt

2009-05-21T01:19:00.002-05:00

I went to pick up some water, fruit and yogurt tonight. I picked up a few different type of yogurts other than what I usually get with my little 80 calories.
Did you know that:
Breyers Yo crunch yogurt either with Butter finger or M&M toppings has 200 calories.
200 calories, for one little yogurt. If I'm gonna be eating 200 calories...it ain't gonna be wasted on a yogurt that's for sure.

...SOMEONE PASS ME THAT HOHO!

Head space

2009-05-09T20:25:00.003-05:00

What is Head Space? I think of it as that place were you go when you 'zone out'.
But there are many different ways to get there though. We've all done it watching TV. Doing the laundry. Even listening to our spouses. "Uh huh...yeah...whatever you want to do...." And before we know it, we've agreed to vacations with our in laws for six weeks in the summer with no chance of parole. YIKES.

I do it when I write. I sit down at the computer, put on the headphones, turn up the music and 'zone out' I then let the story go where it will. 80% of the time, I've already gotten the idea of what it is about, but how it will get there or what will happen on the way might still be a mystery. Granted there have been a lot of surprises. Stories that have really written themselves. I sat down thinking they would start and end one way, only to find that they ended up completely different than how I had expected them too. And I wrote it.

There is also the HeadSpace needed when we studied in school. Nose to the grindstone. Cracking that book. Cram all of that knowledge into our brains for a final. We needed to be in a position to allow ourselves to accept that we needed to think of nothing else but those tests or papers that were haunting our every moment. We needed to block everything else out....hence HEAD SPACE.

When we Play or have Sex together or alone we often fantasize. This too puts us into a HeadSpace of our own making. It can be simple or very complex and elaborate. We decide. Again into HeadSpace we go. The zoning out, or zoning in is more like it. I believe we connect with ourselves on deeper levels when we zone in while we are surfing around in our little HeadSpace. No one is there to tell us to pay bills, or pick up the kids, or ask what is for dinner. We are in charge, we have the power. We are the ones who can give ourselves the freedom to write, to create, to scream.

We just need to look inside.

Didn't I already do high school?

2009-05-08T01:36:00.003-05:00

Will I never be finished with high school? and here I thought I had graduated in 1979. Nope, I'm still doing last minute projects and scrambling to get things finished to make sure there is a diploma waiting at the end of the line....

...only this time, it is for child number three. And thankfully...the last one.
Tonight, it was making deviled eggs for my Home EC final. Who knew I was still taking Home EC. I sure didn't. So, I took him into the kitchen, showed him how to make them, and WE, meaning ME made them. What a pain in my...
Didn't I make a purple apron about a hundred years ago to pass my own final?? I think so. Geeze.

...now, he's on his own with the cabinet making. I know nothing about that.

Prom night

2009-05-01T17:09:00.002-05:00

Tonight is my youngest and only son's prom. He went stag. Yep, he went by himself. He bought a ticket, rented a tux, and drove himself. I don't know how to feel. I'm torn between wanting to feel a bit sad and feeling proud that it doesn't bother him that he didn't have a date. (girl he really wanted to take, couldn't go at the last minute due to last minute sheep debacle' yes, sheep) So, he went alone.

This isn't my only child that bucked the system. His older sister, my oldest...went with a girl. lol. On prom day, the two girls were stood up by their dates, two fellas from another school who never showed. Didn't fazed em. They took each other. Tickets were already bought. They were dressed and looked beautiful. So off they went to have a wicked time.
My middle daughter is the only one who took the standard route.

I hope he has a wonderful time and wins something really cool at post prom and doesn't get into any fights. He does tend to get into fights when there are big mouth show off boyfriends talking shit or talking down to their dates. I can't tell you how many times I've had girls parents call me telling me that my son stood up for their daughters. He's been suspended, had detentions and I've talked to three different principals over the years all whom have sided with Patrick over this issue. He will not stand for guys bullying girls. And will not stand down or walk away, even if it means getting his own ass kicked.
So, we'll see what happens after prom or during post prom.

Colin

2009-04-30T05:03:00.004-05:00

Oh, Oh Colin. Sad to see you go! I think you should have gotten at least one more week. Amanda should have gone this week. What the hell was with laying on the horse?

Yeah, yeah, you had a hard time with the calf, who hasn't. Those little buggers are slippery. Not slimy, but a hand full. Anyhow, wish you the best. Sure we'll see you at some Bravo wrap up show.

Third graders

2009-04-30T00:52:00.002-05:00

My daughter Megan told me today that she was in the middle school office, dropping off a sign up sheet for her cheerleaders. She is their coach. There was a third grade little girl in the office upset about something, but Megan didn't know about what. Finally the little girl couldn't hold back the tears and lost it completely and began to wail. "I HAVE A FIELD TRIP TOMORROW TO CHICAGO...I'M GOING TO GET THE SWINE FLU! I JUST KNOW IT!" where upon she began to sob.
While this is not funny, it is. Poor thing. and you just know she's going to show up tomorrow with rubber gloves and breathing mask. And the first person who sneezes anywhere in the city is going to send this little girl into a complete meltdown.

Spirit Guides

2009-04-25T23:03:00.004-05:00

I'm so excited. Just found out my Spirit class is coming back. We've been on hiatus for months while we've all been going through some stuff. But our teacher has gotten a new place to hold classes and they are starting back up next month and I'm a happy camper.

Just that little once a month get together with like minded people, does a world of good. She will do two classes one for beginners and one for more advanced students. I fit into the second group, but the beginners group is always so much fun. They are just so excited and everything is new and fun and shocking. I love the freshness they bring and the questions and wide eyed innocence. Babes in blankets. Gotta love em. They haven't yet gotten tough skinned or acquired the know it all attitude.

We learn to listen and give spirit messages. This is one of the most important things she has taught us. To listen. And it is probably one of the hardest things to do. Just-to-listen. At the end of each class we have to calm ourselves and connect with our guides, then ask if they have any messages for anyone else in our group. Sometimes they are jumping to give them, other times it is like pulling chicken teeth, an impossible thing to do. At first just standing in front of a group of people and listening to your little inner voice and trying not to look like a fool is really hard. I mean REALLY HARD. You keep asking yourself am I really doing this? The beginner class will struggle with this. Some will get it right off the bat, others will never get it. But it strengthens the connections between you and your guides.

GUIDES: That is another thing that they will learn about. A lot of meditation work will be done. Workshops and spirit work. Lots of opportunity's to draw them out. Things to help you connect with them. In the meditation and then in the deeper meditations they will begin to notice the same people and voices. The same names popping up. Soon someone will introduce them self as their guide. Most times, multiple guides. I have four main ones. I used to have five...I'm not sure where the other one has gotten off too. lol. But, he's gone. But we do have different guides for different reasons.

For instance. I have protection guides. I have an outer ring I call the guards. I mentioned the one who was behind me, holding me the day I ran into the witch at the store. He was one of the guards. When any of them touch me, their touches are warm and solid.

But the main four who are with me all of the time are:

James Malcolm. The head of the little bunch and who says when asked how long he's been with me? "I'm been with you...Forever." Ok... I have always argued back with him. I figure he knew what he what he was getting when he signed up for this gig.

Katherine. My Victorian Lady. Who can be anything but a proper lady. She can hold her own against any man. She 'lets' James Malcolm think he's in charge. Not really sure what her purpose is at this point is though. But I have felt her influence in my life a great deal at different points.

Victory Houson (like the state, without the T) she says with a strong southern accent. She is from 1862 Vicksburg.

And..

Paul. My early early 80's gay boy. He wears tight tights jeans. Kinda of a shorter version of a flock of seagulls haircut and loves ABBA and QUEEN. He is the only one who has actually shown me his death. Not pleasant. He was lured into an alley and beaten to death by a half dozen or so men. Brought me to my knees. Horrible. A skinny, not even 19 year old kid.

Funny sidebar: I once got into a very heated argument with another teacher during a class, because she was trying to teach the class I was in that we were supposed to always ALWAYS treat our guides like gods. What? I looked at her and stopped her on a dime. My class all snickered, knowing my relationship with James Malcolm and just waited for the fallout. I told her what I thought. I used bold words. "Lady, if they want to be treated nicely, then they best treat me nicely. They treat me like shit, they they can take a hike back out the door they came in." She turned white and told me that they were to be treated with the utmost respect, that they had 'chosen' to help us and to not treat them with respect and honor was an insult and she would not stand for it. I laughed at her. She has refused to this very day to ever attend the same class if I'm there. Ah well. lol.

I have gotten into some heated arguments with my own guides and have told them to shut the hell up and to leave. Which they have for months. Until I need them or they think I've learnt what ever lesson I needed to learn. Putzes. lol. But I love them all. Most of the time. I do miss them terribly when they aren't around though.

Playing

2009-04-23T14:53:00.003-05:00

I was talking with someone today about I.M.L and they asked if I had ever played? A simple question. But there are so many different ways to answer that one little question.

Yes, I played. Or a better answer should probably be, I dabbled. Lol. About a hundred years and several lifetimes ago.
My first boyfriend. The one whom I gave my V card to was also was my first boy. Didn’t know it at the time. But he was.
I’ve wondered over the years what exactly what all his different purposes were in my life. Yes, he opened my eyes to ‘play’. I certainly had my own ideas, but had never acted on them. We were both 17 when we began. And I was a intercourse virgin for the first two years of our being together. He said he was, and I believe that yes he was in the sense that he was a virgin with girls.
But, he more than a little experienced in butt play. What did I know? I knew NOTHING about what guys wanted in that area. But, damn when I decided to let him teach me, I was fast learner. Lol. It didn’t take long for him to let me take the lead. And I ran with it. For the first two years, he and I tried just about everything, except intercourse. He wasn’t really interested, and I wasn’t ready. Lol. Funny, I was beating him, I was tying him up, and using a strap on…but I wasn’t ready…LOL. I blush even writing that.
Two years in, we switched. He topped and I bottomed. Still, had no idea that there were even words or a culture for what we were doing. Two suburban kids both still living at home. But, that never stopped us. Where there is a will, there is a place and a scene I guess for two horny twenty somethings I guess.
I didn’t mind being the bottom, but he really wasn’t happy topping. And by this point, he was ready for a more vanilla relationship he told me. My kinky little heart was broke.
I saw him now and then. He would drunk call a few times a year. But for the most part I didn’t see him anymore for years.
…I mean years. I too moved into the more spiritual side of myself, learning about what made me me. Learning to hear my Spirit guides, communing with ghosts and just settling into my own skin I suppose.
Some years later I ran into him at some street fair with my kids, with his….boyfriend, that wasn't a big surprise. He did introduce us. But not as his ex girl friend, not his first, or his ex mistress, or what ever I was. The boyfriend kept looking at me strangely, probably trying to read the looks on our faces. I so wanted to ask if he still liked to be tied up? But he looked happy, and married and I just couldn't do it. I did wish him well and I meant it.

Tid bits

2009-04-20T00:57:00.004-05:00

Tid bits:

Just ate a weight watchers BOSTON CREAM PIE yogurt. Well, it sure didn't taste like Boston cream pie, unless the Boston cream pie had gone rancid and sour. It just tasted like....yogurt. Sad. Just so sad!

``````

Two nights ago. Had something follow me all the way down the driveway. Not sure what it was. That hasn't happen in a LONG time. Months even. I 'felt' it. I knew it was following me. I kept turning around but didn't see anything. It actually didn't feel like any of the regulars. LOL. I know that sounds strange. But they do have a vibration of their own when they come around. And this one felt different. I know it wasn't the civil war guy. Whom I haven't seen in six months or more. Hopefully he truly has moved on into the light for good. It wasn't the pain in my ass trouble maker who loves to just screw with me. He's been on Hiatus someplace and hasn't been around either. So, I guess I'll see if this one shows up again, and what it wants.
The joy's of having different vibrations I guess. I get to deal with Ghosts and spirits on occasion.

````
I've had several emails asking about my Spirit guides and how I came to have them and who they are. So, maybe I'll talk about them this week. They really are a fun bunch. lol. I know people probably think I'm as crazy as a loon, and I don't blame them one bit. I'd think I was nuts too. But they've proven themselves time and time again. Just ask Jodie. They kick her in the butt now and then and shock the hell out of her by telling me things that I couldn't know to tell her. She is a believer now. lol.

Supermodels at the A list awards.

2009-04-18T20:50:00.003-05:00

S0me of the models at Bravos A LIST AWARDS. There is our Colin standing next to last years Casey. Why Casey is with them is beyond me, but he is looking yummy, but he always did. And Shawn is back for some reason too, and all wrinkled to boot.

I.M.L CHICAGO 2009

2009-04-05T13:36:00.008-05:00

http://www.imrl.com/visitorguide/package.php

For more than 30 years, the leather community has rolled into Chicago to celebrate leather culture. The event now draws thousands from around the world to help crown the world's "hottest leathermen." Organizers say that attendees range form hardcore leather aficionados to the "just curious." The next IML will take place on Memorial Day Weekend. Thursday, May 21, 2009 through Monday, May 25, 2009.

The party sprawls across the city, but the main events will be headquartered at the Hilton Chicago.

And not to mention, the Vendor leather market. Vendors from all over the country will be there And who couldn't find something to make your little kinky hearts skip a beat. I'm pretty sure I could. Now, I just need to find me some kinky friends. Or kinky-er friends. Mine won't go.

Not even with the lure of the possibility of ....Tony Buff. You don't know Tony Buff? O-M-G.

I WILL HAVE TO POST PICTURES! It really is hard finding pictures of him with clothes on. But without clothes...holy mother....

Now, I have no confirmation that he will be there this year, But he is a Titan man, and Washington states Mr Leather 2002. And one hot mother...but I digress....

There will be numerous vendors large and small. I would hope Titan would send a rep for their new RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) extreme fetish line videos. Which I've seen a four minute clip of on the Titan website and all I can say is WOW! I can't wait to see the entire thing.

Castle

2009-03-10T20:35:00.002-05:00

CASTLE. ABC MONDAY NIGHTS.

A murder-mystery writer and a detective team up to catch a serial killer who is reenacting murders from his books. Once the case is solved, the unlikely pair continue to work together to probe New York City's most unusual homicides.

It stars Nathan Fillion, as Richard Castle some of you might remember him from Firefly. Always liked him. I really enjoyed the first episode, thought it was pretty wonderful actually.

My dreams of panic

2009-03-06T15:40:00.004-06:00

Ever since everything that happened to me, happened to me last October, I wake up in the middle of the night, searching frantically for ... something. I find that I'm in a panic to find what ever I'm looking for. At first I wasn't sure what it was, all I knew was I was forgetting something. Something that was dying. Starving, alone, and I was forgetting about it/them?

As time has gone on I still wake myself up looking for them. I know they are in an aquarium with a screen top. I know they are some type of turtle or something with a shell. And I feel like I have 'forgotten' to feed them, to take care of them and they are dying or have died and I have suddenly 'remembered' that I had 'forgotten' them. Confusing, I know, you should be me. I jump out of bed, and start tearing the bedroom apart, throwing clothes around, moving things, frantically looking for this tank. I'm in a panic to find these poor things that I've forgotten to take care of. Then I begin to wake up and realize that there are no such creatures in my house and never have been.
I know this isn't my brain messing with a memory, because not even as a kid did I have turtles or any type of shell creatures. The only things we ever had in a tank were fish and later two hamsters who lived long and happy lives.
So, I have no idea what this panic is, or what it means. And this all began way before my stress level went through the roof and the bill collectors began calling every five minutes.

So, what does it all mean? I welcome your opinions.

Make me a Supermodel...Colin

2009-03-06T15:30:00.003-06:00

This is Colin. Isn't he adorable? he is one of this season's Supermodels on Bravo's MAKE ME A SUPERMODEL.

I do love the geeks and nerds. And this one is just precious.

Season two of MAKE ME A SUPERMODEL.

2009-02-24T22:42:00.004-06:00

New season of MAKE ME A SUPERMODEL begins Wed March 4th at 9c on Bravo tv.

Set your bat channels and bat stations. There are new models to watch and enjoy. Alas no Ronnie's or Casey's. But 16 new faces and bodies to Oogle and drool over.

Cookie sheets.

2009-02-22T01:32:00.002-06:00

I seriously want to know the difference between non stick baking sheets.
I have three different types. Two I spent an arm and a leg on not this Christmas but last and have done everything except sacrifice small children and animals to some ancients gods to keep them from sticking and some new ones from IKEA.

Let's start with the expensive ones. I bought two from Kohl's two Christmas' ago. One is a FOOD NETWORK non stick cookie sheet and I spent 16.99. The other is a RUBBERMAID and I spent 13.99. Now let me say, I only bought them because my old Walmart ones were in dire need of being thrown out and I was going too COOKIE day the following day, and it was double employee discount day and there was a blizzard raging outside...you get the picture. Anyhow, those damn expensive cookie sheets STICK EVERY TIME I use them. EVERY TIME! I should have brought them back, but I kept trying to figure out how to get them to not stick, then they looked like crap and I was embarrassed to bring them back.
So, fast forward to this Christmas. I was shopping at IKEA I saw 3.99 baking sheets, and thoughts, what the hell. I bought two, and guess what? THEY ARE WONDERFUL, AND NOTHING STICKS TO THEM. Go figure. My oatmeal cookies today just came right off, not one held on for dear life. So, take that FOOD NETWORK.
I have never bought anything FOOD NETWORK before these cookie sheets and by god I'll never buy anything FOOD NETWORK again.
I have to say though, I do have other Rubbermaid items I have had for years with no complaints so, not sure what the deal was with these stupid cookie sheets.

Zombies come to Illinois

2009-02-06T04:31:00.003-06:00

Have you heard? Zombies have made it to southern Illinois. Yep. They there were even signs along the highway saying so. And IDOT Illinois department of transportation is not happy about it.
According to WGN CHANNEL NINE NEWS:

Drivers in downstate Illinois near Collinsville saw an interesting sign along I-255.It was supposed to read: daily lane closures, drive safely. Instead, it said daily lane closures due to zombies. I-Dot doesn't think it's funny. Officials worried people would get into accidents looking at that sort of thing. Last week, drivers in Austin, Texas saw similar signs reading "Nazi zombies ahead run" and "the end is near" on their roads. Despite the warnings, there were no actual zombie sightings. Officials think in both cases, someone hacked into computers to change the messages.

....no shit Sherlock's. Yeah think? But I gotta say, my money is on Texas to kick some Nazi zombie ass. If anyone would be up for a zombie fight it would be Texas. They'd see those signs and think. "Hell yeah, let's go and get those bastards." Here...they just turned around and caused accidents."
But, in all honesty, upon seeing an IDOT sign flashing saying ZOMBIES AHEAD. I'd have to think about that one. If it were a little flimsy flashing sign on the side of the road. Yeah, I'd keep going. But if they had hacked into those HUGE over the interstate IDOT signs. You know the kind that show the missing kids and weather and bulletins.....I'm turning around and going home. I'm not up to fighting zombies, thank you very much.
My son Patrick on the other hand said he'd keep going. He'd want to see the zombies. Yep, I told him he'd be one of the first to get his brain eaten too. And no doubt he'd be one of those people standing on the roof holding a big welcome sign when the mother ship came down for first contact too. Putz...he's gonna get blown up, just like in Independence Day. Or there gonna eat him. Yep. No more Patrick. I'm staying at home.

Wonder where the zombies will head next? Texas and then Illinois. Where will they go to next.

FOOL FOR LOVE

2009-02-05T03:53:00.003-06:00

Is romance over in this age of online cruising and anonymous hook-ups? For anyone who believes that love has left the building, here is an exhilarating collection of new gay fiction designed to reignite your belief in the power of romance. Follow the travails of a dog walker enchanted with his new client; check out the restaurant owner who catches the eye of his most loyal customer; don't miss the blind date fix-up, as they stumble upon romance and a chance at real love.

About the editors:Timothy J. Lambert is a prolific writer whose stories have appeared in Best Gay Love Stories, Best Gay Love Stories: New York City, and The Mammoth Book of New Gay Erotica. He also selected and introduced Best Gay Erotica 2007. R.D. Cochrane has published short stories and two novels A Coventry Christmas and A Coventry Wedding. Together they have co-authored several novels including When You Don't See Me, Three Fortunes in One Cookie, The Deal, It Had To Be You, He's The One, I'm Your Man and Someone Like You. Both currently reside in the great state of Texas.

Authors:
David Puterbaugh
Mark G. Harris
Shawn Anniston
Brandon M. Long
Felice Picano
Rob Byrnes
Trebor Healey
Joel Derfner
Josh Helmin
Jeffrey Ricker
Paul Lisicky
Nathan Burgoine
Rob Williams
Andrew Holleran
Greg Herren
John H. Roush

I borrowed this from Rob. Oh hell, I stole it. Out right. But, it does deserve each and everyone to run out and pick it up. With a line up like this how can it not be splendid and fabulous.

Bruce Springsteen

2009-02-01T19:26:00.002-06:00

So, anyone happen to catch Bruce Springsteen during, or should I say BEING the halftime show? well, if not, YOU MISSED OUT. He was a showman. Twenty five years later, but still a showman. Sure, there was a moment I thought he might have a heart attack but hey, I probably would have had one too if I were jumping around like he was.
I saw him way back in 84 I think. And let me say, it was something. Along with a hundred thousand other fans general admission ticket holders at Chicago's stadium, where the BEARS play, and you can only begin to imagine what a nightmare that was. No, really think about a HUNDRED THOUSAND RUNNING, SCREAMING, SHOVING, STAMPEDING, RUTHLESS, people trying to get onto the the field. A HUNDRED THOUSAND PEOPLE, people. NEVER AGAIN! And we didn't even head towards the field and we were nearly killed.

I had to laugh though when he sang TENTH AVENUE FREEZE OUT tonight and called my married 26 year old daughter. When she was two years old she would sing snippets of Bruce's songs. Maybe she was a fan. But truth be told she sang snippets because that was all I played. lol. She knew a line or two of a dozen or so and sang them like a parrot. She sang Tenth avenue freeze out. She sang. "Rosalita come sit by my fire..." and a hand full of others all on cue. And trust, I got her to sing them all of the time. Oh come on, she was two and cute as a button.

Any how, back to Bruce and the halftime show. He was good. The twelve minutes or so they were on. I know he has a new album out and a soundtrack to THE WRESTLER or something. But after this performance, I betcha you can say....TOUR DATES. I don't know this for sure. But I can pretty much guess that's where this is coming from or heading towards.
And I wish them all the best. But unless I have a ticket with a seat number, I won't be attending. Heaven knows my deal with general admission. I've learnt my lesson on that account. I get all sweaty and nervous even when I do have a seat and people start standing up and moving around. "SIT DOWN PEOPLE, THAT'S WHY WE HAVE TICKETS." No, one ever listens. That's why I want a whistle. But, Jodie and Megan says no, I can't have one. I'd be obnoxious with a whistle. And I would be, I know it. But, someone needs to be the hall monitor in those places.

A witch called my name

2009-01-17T00:36:00.003-06:00

I ran into a witch today. A witch I had known before, but one whom I didn't recognize until it was too late. I was walking into Krogers and I heard my name. I turned to see who was calling my name and there she was, smiling at me. I knew I knew her but not from where. I suppose the blank look on my face gave me away and she said her name. I then knew who she was right off. at that point I felt one of my protective guides move up behind me and put his arms around me, gently around my waist. Like a boyfriend, sort of. I could gently feel him behind me, which shouldn't have surprised me.
A few years ago when I first started taking classes through a shop a few towns over, one of the women who was in a few of the beginning spirit guide classes was this woman who claimed was a witch who held her own classes. This is where I met my dear friend Karen who was our teacher and instructor. So, this lady came to a few classes and offered a scrying class. Being new to everything I signed up, paid my twenty bucks and went to the to the class. First red flag was the class was to be held at her house and not the store. Not a big deal I figured. There were other names on the list, I wasn't going to be alone, so there shouldn't be any problem.
So on the appointed time, I showed up at her house, a nice little house, on a nice little street, with other nice little houses, in a nice little sub division. I went in and was lead into a room that was her seance/office/ work room. Come to find out, I was the only student, and was alone in the house with her and her husband. He popped his head in and said hello and then was gone. We got started and I tried to dismiss my butterfly's and concentrate on what she was trying to teach me, but about twenty five minutes into the 'class' one of my spirit guides spoke loudly and persistently into my ear.
"No one knows where you are!"
That got my attention.
I sat there for a moment. She continued to talk. I closed my eyes and tried to 'feel' around the house. I didn't like what I was picking up.
"It is time to go. NOW!"
I opened my eyes and said while she was still talking. "I have to go." she looked stunned. I stood up. And put on my coat. I was putting on my shoes as I was walking towards her front door.
"Did I do or say something to offend you? Let me give you a partial refund. Wait here a minute."
As I was reaching for the door knob my guides voice said louder. "Go NOW!" "NO, you didn't do anything, keep it as a tip." I practically ran to my car. I never saw the woman again, until today.
I sat in my car with the doors locked. Watching her neighbors come and go thinking how John Wayne Gacy's nice little house probably looked nice and normal too.
I often wondered what her husband was up too, or was maybe even just thinking. But, when my guides are that loud and pushy, I don't argue.

So, today when she stopped me at Krogers, and I felt him come up and put his arms around me, I wondered if he was making faces or anything at her. lol. She never let on that she sensed him or could see him though. And I honestly, don't know which one he was. Back then I didn't know there names or what one did from another.

Since all of this has happened to me with my health and I feel helpless and defenseless a LOT, I do feel the protecting ones stepping forward more, to pick up the slack. Hopefully they know that if I'm confused and out of sorts that my reaction time is way off, that I need someone to watch my back, and front more. lol. And they really have been picking up the slack. And I'm grateful.
It is a little weird when they get touchy feely though. But it doesn't happen hardly at all. Although in this case I really think he was throwing it back into her face. I wonder what was up with her and her husband that day? but in all honesty, I don't want to know.

A rat named Steve.

2008-12-30T03:28:00.003-06:00

We live out in the boonies and have empty barns at the moment. A rat. Yep a real one has decided that he likes us. Now, we have four. Yep count them FOUR inside cats. Large Maine coon cats. Cats the size of medium size dogs. And this rat,(Whom I've named Steve) just walks right past them on our lower outside mud room landing. The cats just look at him as if he is a long lost friend. They don't pounce, hiss, jump or act like they are going to devour him in any way. He just takes his time and walks on by. The first time he popped out I swear the entire house heard me scream and run back into the house slamming the kitchen door behind me. The cat looked at Steve, he at the cat as if to say..."What the heck is with her? why is she making all that noise?" What could he possibly have to blackmail my four cats with? that's what I want to know? why else would he still be around and not have become 'Steve tar tar' by now.

Merry Christmas.

2008-12-25T11:54:00.003-06:00

Merry Christmas to each and everyone of you. May your day be filled with love and peace, ever how you celebrate. Whether it is loud or quiet. Crowded or alone. May it be exactly what you wish it to be.

living in the tundra

2008-12-22T23:10:00.003-06:00

On Friday we survived an ice storm. Everything is still covered in two inches of solid ice. The cars, house, every surface. Yet we never completely lost power. Yeah, it blinked on and off dozens of times, but never stayed off for more than a few seconds. But we didn't far so lucky yesterday. The storm with winds and wind chills blasted through the Midwest with a fury. The wind chill here stayed at around -30 below. Our power went out at around 9am. It finally came back on for us at nine thirty last night. It took all night with the furnace running non stop for the house to finally get warm.

I finally went back to work yesterday for four hours of all days. The cashiers actually had to wear hats and gloves because it was so cold at the front of the store. And the store was packed because so many people had no power at home. Our power at work kept blinking on and off all morning to I guess.

And this week...snow. But, I'd take snow over the ice and Arctic blast anytime.

Dear Santa

2008-12-09T02:44:00.003-06:00

On my Christmas list this year Dear Santa, there are a few people that I would like it if you could could drop a city crane right down on their little stress inducing heads. That just would be a fine and dandy gift. And if you can't get around to it Santa, I'm sure your good pal Paulie three thumbs could manage. Yes, Virginia, Santa is Connected. How else do you think he manages to get though five boroughs so fast without any permits or (add air quotations) any ""hangups"".

Sam

2008-12-06T22:48:00.002-06:00

We've come to the conclusion that our youngest dog Sam...is either reincarnated-or just the run of the mill nut job. Leaning towards the latter.
Every morning he has somehow gotten a steak knife and has it lying on the sofa. EVERY MORNING.
The other morning the there were TWO knives I asked in if he were a ninja?
This morning? a knife and a soup ladle and in my best Julia Childe voice I said 'TODAY, WE ARE MAKING BORSCHT' So, there he's Julia come back. Megan said "Maybe he pretends to cook" lol. I have no idea he does. But they are all strange. But somehow they fit in with the rest of us misfits.

A Halloween gift.

2008-10-31T23:52:00.003-05:00

Look what the universe gave me today. Halloween babies. Isn't he cute? I was walking into my kitchen and heard little mewing. I looked around, pulled out one of the kitchen chairs and there he was with his mama lying on the chair. I honestly didn't know she was due already. I thought another week or two. I'm surprised he didn't fall off the chair. But he was already clean and dry when I heard him.

Since taking this picture his mama has added to her brood. Another all white kitten and two gray striped babies. All so cute. Mama cat is black and white. Mostly white. We've never had a solid white one before and now we have two.

Costumes

2008-10-31T06:22:00.002-05:00

I was watching something last night and they were talking about 'what was the worst costume you ever had?'
My kids and I started trying to think of a few.
We couldn't think of the worst per se but I did come up with the not so brightest one.

When my son was in kindergarten. I had planned his costume, made the costume and stuck him to it.

Back story: my mom was really sick. She was dying. And as chance would have it she died the day before Halloween. Well, even though you expect something, you really don't have a clear head. You just go through the motions.
I had already made the costumes, everything was set and ready to go. The morning of Halloween I dressed my kids, tucking and pinning and glue gunning them to perfection....Yes, glue gunning. I don't know what I was thinking. Probably about the hundred other things that had to get done by six pm before the wake began, but as I was putting my five year old into his scarecrow costume....I glue gunned his sleeves tight over his wrists so the raffia would stay in place. I never thought anything of it. Not until I picked them up after school to take them trick or treating before heading forty miles to the wake. I noticed his sleeves weren't the same and asked about it. Poor thing gave me a look...
"Miss Goodman had to cut me out." Why I asked innocently. "Cause I had to PEE! mom you glue gunned me in. I couldn't get out to go to the bathroom."
OMG I was so embarrassed. And to the teachers credit and my un dying gratitude she laughed it off bless her heart.

So that was the year that my kids all attended their grandmothers wake dressed as a scarecrow, Vanna White and a Rock star.

Happy Halloween!

2008-10-31T00:11:00.001-05:00

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!

Maxine

2008-10-19T02:33:00.003-05:00

I've seen the future and it is filled with MAXINES.

I was sitting in the neurologists waiting room and all around me were older ladies. Correctly, a room full of Maxines. Honest to god. Besides me and the little boy with ADHD it was all 70 year old Maxines.

In fact when one came in she stopped in the door and looked down at the little boy, who at that moment had decided he was a fish flopping around on the waiting room floor. The Maxine stood staring at him then asked..."What are you then?" the little boy stopped flopping around and looked back at her as if trying to figure out if she were for real. "Well, when you figure it out, you let me know." Then she walked up to the desk.

There was also the lady who's appointment wasn't until Nov 7th. She came yesterday and argued with the receptionist that "NO, TODAY I SEE THE DOCTOR, ON THE 7TH I SEE THE DENTIST. WHY WOULD I COME HERE IF I NEEDED TO BE AT THE DENTIST?" then she huffed and sat down. She sat there for a moment, got up and said. "I'm leaving. When he wants to see me. I'm open on the 7th." then she walked out. I laughed out loud. I could just see the twitching on the faces of the receptionists.

I'm sure I'll be one of those Maxines one day. Probably one who will encounter little fish boys.

Connecticut overturns ban.

2008-10-11T02:36:00.001-05:00

Taken from OUTZONE.

How out of it are we? We didn't even know this was a possibility, but then Connecticut just goes and wows us with a judicial ruling to overturn the ban on same-sex marriage in the state. Actually, we don't feel so bad because the news article we read called it unexpected.
Connecticut was already a civil union state, but the judges hooked it up for the eight same-sex couples who were plaintiffs in the case, not to mention all the other Connecticut gays out there. The Republican governer, Jodi Rell, doesn't agree with the ruling but also thinks that any attempts to overturn it will fail. Of course, some of those "family" groups are going to try it anyway.
So that's three down and forty seven to go. If anyone's counting.

YAY! YOU GO CONNECTICUT.

Science question for today.

2008-10-09T21:51:00.002-05:00

And the science question for today is:

How long does it take for hot water to freeze in the freezer?

Answer:

NOT THAT DAMN LONG.

I had to defrost my fridge freezer today. Someone didn't close it all the way and it looked like Antarctica in there. Nothing but frost and snow. I took everything out. The chiseled and hammered and finally was able to put pans of boiling water into it. It worked wonders.
Only problem was by the time I put the last two pans in, I went to lay down for a few minutes and when I came back...OK it was awhile. The pans had frozen solid.

So, yes class. Hot water does freeze faster then cold.
Just thought I'd share what I put into actuality today.

Pumpkins

2008-10-08T00:19:00.002-05:00

Why do my dogs insist on 'not' being dogs?

Let me go further.
Halloween is approaching and I find that I will NOT be putting the traditional big real pumpkin on the porch. Why? you might be asking. My dogs will eat them. Yep in past years, they have eaten each and every one. I shouldn't find this surprising. Sam also ate every pepper both hot and mild out of the garden. EVERY-PEPPER. He also has a thing for tomato's. Go figure.

Maybe this is a country dog thing. Years ago when the kids were small we found we couldn't hide Easter eggs outside either. Our GoodBoy would follow behind us and as we hid the eggs. He would wait till we moved away then he would eat them. Shells and all. Took a few times to figure out where they were all going, but he was caught with a pink one in his mouth. So busted. He must have eaten 30 in one day. And nope it didn't make him sick or anything. He lived to be like five hundred in dog years. Honestly he was 16 I think.

The Commitment

2008-09-27T23:20:00.002-05:00

I just love this book.
I've read it at least three times.
This is the second book in this series.
The first is THE KID. And what happens to to Dan and his boyfriend Terry when they decide to get pregnant.

First the kid and then marriage. Maybe. Terry would rather get tattoos that say "Property of Dan Savage. Property of Terry Miller" on each other. As hot as that might be in the bedroom, it doesn't fly with Dan's mother.

I really enjoy this book. It is funny, compassionate and written from the heart.

From Publishers WeeklyStarred Review. The author of the internationally syndicated column "Savage Love" brings much-needed humor, and a reality check, to the bitter gay-marriage debate with this polemical memoir. As Savage (Skipping Towards Gomorrah) and his boyfriend, Terry, neared their 10th anniversary, Savage's mother put on the pressure for them to get married. But, Savage notes, there were several other points to consider before deciding to tie the knot: among them, the fact that marriage doesn't provide legal protection in Washington State; Terry prefers tattoos as a sign of commitment; and their six-year-old son declared that only men and women can get married. Furthermore, Savage himself worried that the relationship would be jinxed by anything more permanent than a big anniversary bash, though the one they plan quickly assumes the proportions and price of a wedding reception. While documenting the couple's wobble toward a decision, Savage skewers ideologues, both pro– and anti–gay marriage, with his radical pragmatism. Disproving Tolstoy's dictum that "happy families are all alike," he takes a sharp-eyed, compassionate look at matrimony as it is actually practiced by friends, his raucously affectionate family and even medieval Christians. When he explains to his son what marriage is really about, you want to stand up and cheer, and the surprise ending is both hilarious and a tear-jerker.

science channel

2008-09-24T14:48:00.003-05:00

I'm such a science channel geek. The other night for instance, I watched for three hours as they convinced me that birds are the direct descendants of dinosaurs. Now as insane as that might sound at first, let me continue.

They showed how an ostrich with a few geno tweaks can be born a Raptor. Yep, a raptor. They have the same body type and can even be given green scaly legs. Interesting.

They also showed how with a few teeny tiny little geno changes a chicken have have a long dino tail and and large teeth. Oh and they too can have scaly legs. Don't know how that will changes the taste of wild wings but interesting all the same. So, I guess when you say "Hmm tastes like chicken." That can then be said for chicken, snakes and dinosaurs too I suppose.

Spirit guides.

2008-09-18T14:02:00.004-05:00

I had a insightful talk with James Malcolm the other day in my car.

For those of you who are new to the blog...James Malcolm is one of spirit guides. He's the main one I guess you could say. He takes the lead and the others let him believe he's in charge ;)

The main four who come and go the most are James Malcolm an 1800's author.
Katherine. A Victorian lady. Who has a streak of Independence who won't take shit from anyone.
Victory Housen. She is a civil war lady from 1867 Vicksburg. I've searched and searched for any record of her, she's tells me takes and places, how to pronounce her last name. "It's like the city, but without the t." She says in a deep accent. (Houston).
And then there is Paul my gay boy who loves Abba and Queen. I feel very 1980's to me. Maybe I picked him up in my disco days. lol. I have no idea about him. He could possibly be a ghost though.

So, I'm driving in the pouring rain the other day. Traffic was heavy, people acted like they had never driven in rain before. Slamming on brakes, sliding, jamming, just being horrible. When I suddenly felt James Malcolm touch my arm and he said..."Careful chèrie" in a deep french accent. He doesn't have a french accent. I started to comment on this when everything around me went into slow motion for just a moment. I was careful to look around me. Notice if anyone was coming towards me or what. Then it was gone. And all was back to normal. If you can call any of this normal.
"So what's with the French accent? something new?" he laughed and stated. "Old, new, isn't it all the same Cherie?" "For you, I suppose." I drove on. I asked what the slowing of time around me meant. And he offhandedly stated that I was moving to fast. That I needed to slow down a few seconds. That gave me goosebumps. I wondered if I hadn't slowed down If I had maybe been heading for an accident. I offhandedly said "If you are so concerned about me all of the time then why did you just stand back and let me marry Tom all those years ago?" (my husband).
He didn't answer for a few seconds then said. "You've always believed that YOU needed him to complete you. To pay back a debt to finish some karmic crap. This isn't true. HE needed YOU and the kids to complete his journey." I was floored. It knocked the air right out of me. I had never ever thought about it like that. "You and the kids give him what he needs to complete this lifetime. Not the other way around. And while we are on this subject...your children needed something he had to give to them to make them more grounded."
I thought about this for a few moments. "I guess I'm not the easiest person to live with." He laughed again. "Ya think?. Tom was once a good man. He's gotten off his path. Life has gotten in his way. But there isn't anything you can do for him. He has to figure it out."

I have to tell ya. I was floored. I had always felt that he was in my life for me to make amends for something. That his path was needed for me to complete my journey. Not the other way around. But I can see what James was talking about the kids. All three are coming into their own psychic abilities. The oldest has always dreamt. The middle just recently has begun to meet her own guides. All three have always seen ghosts. Not unusual for one of them to open the laundry room door, throw in clothes, close the door and say "Theres a man in the laundry room." lol. So, casually.
The youngest is always asking questions. And pointing out things in the windows and barns.

Just another day in our strange little lives. I feel sorta bad for my son in law. He had no idea what he was getting himself into when he married my daughter. lol. But he's gotten used it. I think.

Bring me the cat.

2008-09-18T14:02:00.003-05:00

'Patrick, do you see Flower? she needs flea medicine on."

"Uh, who's flower?" my oh so observant son asks.

"Uh, the black cat. The same cat who has lived here since she was BORN!"

"I never knew what her name was."

" :::blank stare::: "

The cat was born in our laundry room a year ago. She's lived in our house...for a year. She sleeps on my bed. She has been in this house every day of her life. And he doesn't know what her name is. now understand there are four cats who live here. Two come and go in and out. Two who never go outside. Flower is one who never goes outside the other is a few months old kitten. HE CAN'T SAY HE DOESN'T KNOW THIS CAT.

HOLY NO NAMED CAT!

Sounds

2008-09-17T01:23:00.002-05:00

Strange things are a foot around here. Not that they aren't always, but still...

Two nights ago I was sitting here at the computer and the three dogs were lying about when suddenly they all jumped up and ran into the living room barking and growling. A few seconds later Sam the six month old came running back with his tail between his legs, barking over his shoulder in scared yips. The other two came right behind him, backing into the room, barking menacingly back behind them.
This is when we heard THUMP...DRAG. THUMP...DRAG. THUMP...DRAG. Three times we heard then then nothing. I went and looked all through the downstairs and couldn't find anything that would have made those sounds. It really was a scary sound. Like someone dropping something, then dragging it. Either that or a one legged pirate.

TRUE BLOOD

2008-09-07T03:18:00.003-05:00

Just a reminder:

HBO SERIES: TRUE BLOOD begins tonight at 8 central.

If they stay to half of what makes the books fantastic, this show will be worth watching again and again. I LOVE THE BOOKS. Charlaine Harris has created a wonderful eclectic world of vampires, humans, werewolves, werepanthers and just about any other supernatural creature you could think of.

A synopsis of the show.

Small town Louisiana waitress Sookie Stackhouse already is viewed as an oddball by her friends and neighbors, since she can read the minds of those around her. She doesn't exactly help her reputation, though, when she falls for handsome newcomer Bill Compton, a 173-year-old vampire who has "come out of the coffin" along with many of his undead comrades now that a new synthetic blood has made it possible for vampires to survive without preying on humans. Still, the conservative locals aren't wild about mortal-vampire liaisons, especially Sookie's boss, Sam Merlotte, who carries a torch for her. "Six Feet Under" creator Alan Ball is behind this new series adaptation of best-selling novels by Charlaine Harris.

Go away

2008-08-31T01:03:00.001-05:00

GUSTAV. DIE. DIE ALREADY!

I pray that it doesn't hit New Orleans again. This is unbelievable. Almost three years to the day.

GO AWAY GUSTAV. And take Hannah with ya.

Comments to the last blog

2008-08-19T13:17:00.002-05:00

I'll post my comments from the last post here, seeing that Blogger won't recognize me on my own blog.

Indigo that was funny. Gave me a chuckle.

Tigeryogi, these books are Huge. Like Harry Potter. Not that that makes them any better, but they have these girls enthralled. Made me curious.

I've always wanted another Lestat book, one where he runs across one of his own decendents. If you remember he says himself that when he was a teenager, fathers were always beating at the door demanding his own father do something about all of the daughters who were pregnant by Lestat, playboy that he was. I've always wondered what he'd do. Because he took Quinn his sorta cousin under his wing after he was made into a vampire. I hope she changes her mind and writes another Lestat Vampire novel.

TWILIGHT.

2008-08-18T16:27:00.002-05:00

I was pleasantly surprised last night. I was even surprised. In the break room, there were three different 19/20 twenty years reading. Not school books, not magazines. But they were all reading different books of TWILIGHT.

Now, I may have been living with my head buried in the sand, but I had never heard of these books. One girl stated she was on book two. So was another girl, and the third girl was still on book one.
Now, these books are HUGE hardcover books. I was really surprised and pleased to see them reading. I'm always reading something on my breaks if I'm alone. At points one would sigh. Another gasp. And they both asked the third girl "Have you gotten to part where they break into the car, moments before the sun rises? OMG." Ok, my curiosity is peaked.
I'm gonna have to find out what these are. I hope he or it or whatever is as charming as Rice's Vampire Lestat. Loved him.

Thank you Sardonic Bomb.

2008-08-16T15:44:00.002-05:00

Thanks so much to Sardonic Bomb I was finally able to get his site on my bloglist. What a pain this has all been.
Everytime someone says "It will be so much easier. It will make your life a breeze..." Don't believe them. They lie.

Rick Springfield

2008-08-11T22:31:00.001-05:00

This year at the Fair, we had live bands. Not that we ever had dead ones. Well, not that dead I guess.

This year we had Plain White Tees, who were really good. Blake Shelton who was playing when the tornado came within a town of us. And then there was....Rick Springfield.

I gotta say, he did really good for an old guy. He's my age. Age'ish. And he rocked.

I'd never seen him in concert. And I'm glad we did.

He has a new cd out Venus in Overdrive. The music wasn't bad at all. Rockin', with reggae and blues mixed together. They were really good. Of course he had to play his old songs, which were just as good as they ever were, ending with Jesse's girl. Which really rocked out.

If he comes to any of your fairs, pay the money and go see him. I enjoyed it. He's not Hanson. But, he didn't disappoint.

Ronnie Kroell and Megan

2008-08-11T21:46:00.003-05:00

Make me a supermodel Ronnie Kroell and Megan.

We went downtown yesterday to Market days in Boystown. I love Boystown.
Market days is just a bunch of booths, bands, bars and lots of food vendors all crowded together
in about a three or four block area. We walked past the booth and tent set up for MiniBar and Megan spotted Ronnie. She also spotted him at the Gay Pride Parade first. We went up to him and asked if we could take his picture. He was so charming and funny. We must have talked with him for at least ten minutes before he was drug away to do other things.

Fair Pics

2008-08-07T02:06:00.001-05:00

Awww. They wuv each other. One of ours and one from the next pen.

Patrick showing one of his pigs. The bandage around his elbow...he was knocked down by three pigs running down an aisle. Luckily he wasn't more hurt. He's fine.

Sam.

2008-08-07T01:50:00.001-05:00

This is Sam. He was the five week old puppy that was found last March. He's getting big. He's filthy in this picture he had just rummaged through my trash bag full of vacuum cleaner gunk that I had just dumped out of the vacuum. lol. He came out with streaks of dust and dirt all over him.
He's great in the tub though. He'll just lay down and let you wash him all over.

A submission call.

2008-08-03T00:32:00.000-05:00

I've been asked to post this on behalf Jack Fritscher. A dear friend of the late Larry Townsend. I would be honored.

Call for Submission

"Untitled Larry Townsend Memorial Anthology"

He Who Dies with the Most Column Inches Wins. When the prolific and
beloved and controversial pioneer activist of leather politics and
leather literature Larry Townsend passed July 28, 2008, the legend
became myth. The new anthology The Untitled Larry Townsend Memorial
Anthology invites personal and professional manuscripts from anyone
who has a reminiscence or analysis of Larry Townsend's impact on
leather heritage, on Drummer magazine, and on their own personal
leathersex lives, on gay popular culture, etc. The extraordinary
concept is to memorialize Larry Townsend as a person as much as an
author. Proposing a Leatherfolk anthology similar to the classic book
by Mark Thompson (1990), Mark Hemry, an intimate friend of Larry
Townsend, has poised his Palm Drive Publishing to produce for Spring
2009, a collection of writing and photographs and drawings
memorializing Larry Townsend for the force he was in helping people
exit the leather closet, enjoy legitimate gay literature with leather
and BDSM and futuristic themes, and be safe and sane in their S&M and edge play, etc. Articles can be positive or affirmatively negative.

Submissions may have been published before in any medium.

Full Disclosure So You Know Where You Stand: A suitable contract will
be signed for all editions paper and electronic of the book. Editing,
other than for grammatical clarity of sense, may be suggested for any
submission but not without permission of the author. Manuscripts will
mostly be "published as received." Therefore, authors are counseled to
say exactly what they want to say cleanly and perfectly in their
final-final and very proofed copy. (You are the keeper of your own
literary reputation, and can re-publish your work at will citing the
title of the "Larry Townsend
Anthology.") Contributors of writing and photography and art work, who
must sign that they own their own copyright, will keep ownership of
their own copyright.

"Honorarium Payment" is five copies of this historically important
anthology.

Deadline: December 1, 2008

Publisher Mark Hemry is accepting for consideration: Diverse Opinions
in Personal Essays about Larry Townsend; Interviews of Larry Townsend;
Pop Culture and Academic Articles on Larry Townsend or on Any of His
Novels or Fiction or Nonfiction; GLBT and Leather-Heritage Historical
Essays on How Townsend's Influence Molded Leather History; Incisive
Character-Catching Poetry about Larry Townsend; Reviews of His Books;
Analysis of Themes, Archetypes, Language in the Writing of Larry
Townsend's Fiction and Nonfiction, Especially The Leatherman's
Handbook; Significant Letters to and by Larry Townsend; even Fantasy One-Act Plays of, Say, "My Dinner with Mr.
Townsend" That Capture Something about His Character and Influence; as
well as Photographs and Drawings. Authors are encouraged to be
inventive in capturing the truth and controversy of Larry Townsend.

Email submissions to Mark Hemry at mark@palmdrivepublishing.com

Please put "Larry Townsend" in the subject line.

Payment: Five copies of published book.

R.I.P LARRY TOWNSEND.

2008-08-02T16:12:00.001-05:00

I've never had the pleasure of meeting the man, but I still enjoyed all of his work. And he will be missed. I have several books autographed by him to me and I do treasure them. It is a sad day.

Mr. Townsend died on July 29, 2008 due to complications from pneumonia. He passed quietly with family members by his side at Cedars Sinai Hospital. He was 77.

"Larry Townsend was the pseudonymous author of dozens of books including Run Little Leather Boy (1970) and The Leatherman´s Handbook (1972) at pioneer erotic presses such as Greenleaf Classics and the Other Traveler imprint of Olympia Press. Growing up as a teenager of Swiss-German extraction in Los Angeles a few houses from Noel Coward and Irene Dunne, he ate cookies with his neighbor Laura Hope Crews who was Aunt Pittypat in Gone with the Wind. He attended the prestigious Peddie School, and was stationed as Staff Sergeant in charge of NCOIC Operations of Air Intelligence Squadrons for nearly five years with the US Air Force in Germany (1950-1954). Completing his tour of duty, he entered into the 1950s underground of the LA leather scene where he and Montgomery Clift shared a lover. With his degree in industrial psychology from UCLA (1957), he worked in the private sector and as a probation officer with the Forestry Service. He began his pioneering activism in the politics of gay liberation in the early 1960s. In 1972, as president of the `Homophile Effort for Legal Protection´ which had been founded in 1969 to defend gays during and after arrests, he led a group in founding the H.E.L.P. Newsletter, the forebear of Drummer (1975). As a writer and photographer, he was an essential eyewitness of the drama and salon around Drummer in which his novels were often excerpted. His signature "Leather Notebook" column appeared in Drummer for twelve years beginning in 1980, and continued in Honcho to Spring 2008. His last novel, TimeMasters, was published April 2008." This new thumbnail biography, approved and updated by Larry Townsend, is reprinted from the leather-heritage book Gay San Francisco: Eyewitness Drummer which, published June 20, 2008.

Books:
The silver jubilee edition commemorating the 25 anniversary of the leathermans handbook.
The leathermans handbook 11
The sexual adventures of Sherlock Holmes.
Ask Larry.
Masters Counterpoints: the classic gay suspense novel.
Master of Masters.
Dream Master and other SM stories.
A slaves gambit.
The Hounds of Hell and other SM stories.
The Long Leather Cord.
The scorpius equation.
Kiss of Leather
Leather Ad: M.
One for the Master two for the fool. A Bruce MacLead mystery.
Run little leather boy.
The case of the severed head.
Beware the Gog who Smiles
The Faustus Contract.
Chains
Run little leather boy and companion sequel Run no more.

Dr. Who.

2008-07-26T03:28:00.001-05:00

Tonight's DR.WHO?

OMG! FABULOUS!

Rose, Sarah Jane, Martha, and Donna.

Not to mention the TORCHWOOD crew. Captain Jack looking yummy as always. Ianto and Gwen also.

Looking forward to next weeks finale.

Anyone know when TORCHWOOD returns?

Jodie?? Jodie??

2008-07-16T00:39:00.000-05:00

Oh Miss Jodie.

Where is chapter 35? Please tell me you have a copy of it.

I'm about to beat my head on the wall or desk people. lol. I finally got scan disc to give me the edited chapters and guess what? the last chapter of the book TWICE AS HARD is gone.
I was going to finish up the ending and it's gone. WAAAAA!
I guess I could rewrite it. Probably better that it was already was, but still...

For those who are thinking "What the hell is she going on about?"
TWICE AS HARD is my book. Jodie the saint has been editing it. It drives me crazy that we live sixty miles apart and can't be face to face all of the time to work on it, so every now and then when my pocketbook will allow me to take a road trip with the price of gas to her house, we work for hours and hours on the book. This last time we actually got through all of the chapters except two. Chapter 30 which I'm working on right now, and the last one which I can't find.

Christian and Chase are the same person. Different lives, but parallel lifetimes. He is at first believed to be a split personality, but who is discovered to actually be a past life who has resurfaced to save him from the man who killed him the last time. A thug who had no remorse for his murder, and who is in his daily life once again, and is threatening to destroy the present day Chase. The past life Christian comes forward to try and stop the wrongs from happening once again to the present Chase.

Confusing? not really. I really like it.

Jodie? please see if you have chapter 35 or else I'm gonna have to call 'the guys' in to help write it again. Sounds like a spirit guide mafia hit squad.

More Pride Pics.

2008-07-11T03:23:00.001-05:00

more Pride

2008-07-09T03:27:00.001-05:00

Here are the girls. Megan is the girl all the way to the left in the purple stripes.
Here's another pic of Ronnie.

Pride Pictures

2008-07-08T02:50:00.001-05:00

The Pride parade was so much fun. It was delayed for almost an hour because a drag queen fell off a float, and broke a leg. I don't mean to make light of this, but I guess she held up the parade because she kept yelling...'THIS PARADE WILL NOT GO ON WITHOUT ME!" lol. It took an hour to finally get her put in an ambulance and out from under the float.

This is Ronnie from MAKE ME A SUPERMODEL. He was on one of the Pride floats. He's so cute.

Megan spotted him first as he passed by us. 'IT'S RONNIE. IT'S RONNIE' she was jumping up and down yelling. He heard her and waved and smiled at her. She swooned. She then grabbed my hand and we ran around to the next street and waited for his float to come around again. This time she took pictures of him.

It was so much fun. Megan and I went with our friend Bob, his boyfriend Michael, Bobs niece and her three friends. All the teenagers said they would go again next year.

I have more pictures I'll load if blogger will LET me. I've been trying to load these things for days.

book 8? not book 7? where is book 7? I missed book 7?

2008-06-18T04:03:00.001-05:00

Boy am I having one of those great big DOH moments. I've been reading the 8th book in the Sookie Stackhouse series the vampire novels by Charlaine Harris. I'm half way through with it and have been confused for most of it. When did they have a bombing? why didn't she build up to Katrina and not just keep mentioning it as an after thought? What happened to Quinn? and why...why why? I've been puzzled at all the missing pieces.

Then the Doh moment. How could I have missed an entire book? I somehow missed book 7. I've read all of the others and I assumed...incorrectly that I was up to date. Nope, now I have to go and buy book 7 so I know what the hell transpired along the way to the book I am now half finished with. I 'know' what has happened by a little of the back story, but damn it would have been nice to have 'known' these things while I was trying to put the confusing puzzle back together.

And just to state once again...this has NOTHING to do with Charlaine Harris' writing. She is wonderful. This is ALL my fault. I still have no idea how I miss an entire book. I was looking forward to this one coming out and ran right out and bought it. How then did I miss the last book? no clue. non at all.

EDITED! EDITED! EDITED!

I've finished book 8. And am breezing through book 7. They are sooo good.

Casey Skinner

2008-06-17T21:06:00.001-05:00

Love the lips.

The Wizard has a name...

2008-06-17T18:40:00.001-05:00

Yep, the Wizard has a name. And it is Jonah.

I haven't mentioned my conversation with him until I was sure he wasn't just bullshitting me. lol. He's a little smart ass. So unlike my other guides. (insert large sarcastic snicker) But I love that. There is no groveling or worshiping of them, they saw the ad as my guides and they took the job. So, they knew right from the get go what a pain in the ass I would be and they still signed on. So not feeling bad that they have to put up with me this time around.

I've actually had other psychics and mediums gasp at the way I talk to my guides. I had one woman so appalled at the way I argued with James Malcolm that she said she "was horrified." She insisted that I apologize to him immediately. I told to go bite herself. "When they respect me, I will respect them. Its a give and take here lady." She never came back to class after that when I was there. lol. Ah well, win some loose some.

Back to Jonas. We were doing a deep trance/meditative session. At one point we were to ask if any of our guides had anything to tell us. We found ourselves sitting on a peaceful park bench in a beautiful garden. I was expecting James Malcolm or Katherine to be there. But instead there was a young man with long brown hair. His head was down and I couldn't see his face for a moment. But when he raised his head and smiled at me. I knew who he was. "It's you. You were in my room Wizard." he actually laughed a sweet laugh. "Yes I was. My name is Jonah."
We were instructed to ask them why this guide had come to meet with us and what did they have to tell us.
Of course I always seem at first to have the Charlie Brown experience. Everyone else is crying and emotional, there guides are telling them deep secrets, showing them the universe, all sorts of magical and wondrous things. My guides usually are picking at a toenail or laughing at me. I've actually had one laugh sitting in the corner of a very important class I PAID for, laughing and making fun of me all day long. When I stopped the entire class to ask WHY THE HELL HE WAS LAUGHING? his response..."Because you look like an idiot. What the hell is all this supposed to do?" When I hesitated and eventually mumbled..."The purpose is to meet our guides." He laughed uncontrollably. "I'm sitting right here. You waisted your money And you look like a fool to boot." I couldn't argue with that though.
Anyhow. I asked Jonah if he had been with me long, his answer "Maybe."
"Are you here to tell me something important?" "mmm, let me think about it."
See what I mean. They love to yank my chains. And I'm supposed to be all respectful and ooh ooh, its a spirit guide. Yeah, whatever.
Finally when he could sense me about to walk my ass out of that garden he gave up the goods. Cosmic goods people, not HIS goods. Although, I'll bet that would be impressive too. He's a looker.
His purpose he says is to teach me to feel vibrations. The vibrations all around me. They are shifting. The entire worlds vibrations are in fact in-flux. This is the next step for me. And I've noticed it already. I've gotten ill at work after coming in contact with a negative force. I also began to tear up and could see and feel 'a cloudy humming cloud' all around a railroad track. I knew a young couple, male and female had died there and in the forties or fifties. A long time to still have a heavy feeling there.

He then told me "Theres something else you need to know and see." I was then standing in a desert landscape. There were gardens and tents and buildings all around. I saw a well or pond like structure. It was made of large brick squares but was round. It was full of glassy water. I watched a very old lady. Decriped and old. She was dressed in all brown and gray. Her hair was silver and pulled back in a pony tail. She moved so gently and slow. She was hunched over with a cane. When she reached to glassy water in the pond and bent to look at herself I felt Jonah lean over my shoulder and whisper. "Watch." The old woman looked at herself in the refective pool and looking back at her was a beautiful young woman with brilliant redish hair, full, and long. When the old woman looked back up and around her surroundings I heard 'garden of Gethsemane." I have no idea what that means or how it relates to me in that life or this one. But I did understand intimetly that the old woman was not what she appeared. She wasn't old, nor was she helpless. She was the beautilful woman hidden. She was a sorcessress. Things don't always appear as they really are I guess.

Another picture

2008-06-09T14:51:00.001-05:00

I'm not sure if you can enlarge this picture, but in the upstairs window, the one on the left...there is something there. no one was upstairs when Patrick took this picture. This is a shot of the back of my house.

Off to see the wizard.

2008-06-09T01:10:00.001-05:00

This is what I've been up too. This has been going 0n everyday for a five days. The top picture is from today. The bottom yesterday.
At work Thursday night we had the sirens go off three times along with tornadoes to go along with them. They all went around us. Yesterday this was the scene at my house.
It didn't do any damage to my house but a little to the north it turned over semis on I-57 and destroyed a bunch of roofs and destroyed cars. And I can hear the wind picking up once again.

Here kittie kittie.

2008-05-24T15:44:00.001-05:00

Isn't he/she cute? there are five of them. One black and white. One gray stripped. And three white/gray/orange mix ups. They are so cute. Their five days old now.

Sam

2008-05-23T15:24:00.001-05:00

And introducing Sam! He's a little dirty in this picture. He had been out playing in the rain covered yard.

He is about 12 weeks now. He came into our lives six weeks ago. He was 5 lbs 4 ounces. He has tripled his weight now.

He was found along with his brother and two sisters wandering around a farmers field. They had been wandering around on their own for four days, coming and going when the farmer went out to see what they were and if they had a mother someplace. He never found a mom but took the four puppies in. They were in really good shape to have been alone for four days.

The vet said he was in perfect shape cept for some worms that all puppies usually have. They guess he was about five weeks old. The thing is... our little white fluffy puppy...will be...150lbs.

They think he's a Great Pyrenees. Which will be like walking a polar bear. lol.

Regional Champs

2008-05-19T18:49:00.001-05:00

Regional baseball champs.

Funny thing is that they've pretty much lost every other game they've played. lol. But, won all the games that 'counted'. They now go to sectionals on Thursday. If they could win the regional games, then why couldn't they win the regular games? lol. Patrick is so excited. He's played baseball two years now, football one year, and cheer leading part of last year and next year.

The wizrd and the lady.

2008-05-12T01:36:00.001-05:00

Things are always weird around me. No matter where I am or what I'm doing. lol. I've learnt to just accept it. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if everything was 'normal'.

As for the wizard. Believe it or not Jodie, he isn't blond. He has brown hair that doesn't quite go down to his shoulders. With long bangs that fall in his face. He looked to be maybe mid twenties, dressed in loose fitting, baggy shirt and britches. A cloak around his shoulders.
I have no idea why I thought him to be a wizard, but I remember thinking as I woke up completely. 'hmm, a wizard. I have a wizard." He didn't say he was one, but I just 'knew it'.

I awoke to see him kneeling on my bedroom floor. He was looking down, doing something. I couldn't tell what. His hair kept falling in his face, and he would brush it away. He was cute I guess, couldn't really see all of his face. Not sure if he was aware of me watching him though. I didn't interact with him. Just saw him.
Funny thing is that before I dozed off I had been putting up a bubble of protection all around my bed. Above, below, in and around my bed. There is a mouse who torments me. I wake up and he's sitting watching me. Bugging the hell out of me. Thing is, not sure if he's real or not. Ya know? I never hear him jump and hit the floor, or scurry away. He just isn't there the second time I look. So, maybe he is something else entirely.
So, I was putting up a bubble of protection as I dozed off...then awoke a few minutes later to see my wizard.

The civil war lady.

I was in Barnes and Noble. I was looking for a certain book. I walked around the end of an aisle and for about a second and a half I stared right at her, and she at me. Then she was gone. I looked around wondering who she was attached too.

She was dressed in full gear. Big hoopie shirt, lace on the bottom of her lavender colored gone with the wind dress. The lace on the bottom was perhaps 8 or 9 inches deep. She had a cap on, with the parasol. A picture out of any civil war history book. She did see me. She looked right at me. And I at her. Her hair was curled and up, her little fancy hat covering parts of it.

So, it's been an active week in the paranormal. But it is more strange when there isn't something going on.

Oh, and...

2008-05-07T01:35:00.001-05:00

Oh, and remind me to tell you guys about the Civil War lady I saw this week in Barnes and Nobles of all places. And the young wizard who was in my bedroom the other night. Where do I pick these people up at?

Kids

2008-05-03T02:00:00.002-05:00

The other night I was over visiting Jodie and her family.
Her little boy who is 6 came into the room and announced that for Halloween he wanted to be....
Jesus.

His grown sister looked at him and then at us and asked. "Can you BE Jesus? is that allowed?"

I seem to be surrounded by kids who either THINK they are Jesus or WANT to be Jesus. lol.

Nothing like getting a jump start on your Halloween plans though.

Ghosts and things that live amoung us.

2008-04-24T16:35:00.001-05:00

I was reminded today of our first haunted house we lived in after we were married. That was 1, 2, 3 houses ago. And each has had it's share of creepy crawlers or inhabitants.
See, there are different types of hants as my dad would have called them.

There are the spirits that reside there. There are place memories that sometimes just keep playing like an old movie that is on a loop.
Then there are the nasties who know they are nasty and really don't give a rats ass what the living think about them. Our last house had one of those who walked around outside. He had really creepy dead vacant eyes. Sends shivers down my back just thinking about him. I would see him looking in the windows. Now, remember our house sat high. So, this guy must have been ten feet tall. lol. This guy not to be confused with my civil war solider who looks in my kitchen window now. I see him now and then, but he doesn't really creep me out anymore. He did at first though. I've jumped and dropped more than my share of things upon seeing his face looking in at night. He's been cussed out and been threatened on more occasion with a major exorcism up his ass if he freaks me out again more than I can remember. I know now why all of my laundry room windows had been boarded and closed up long ago. He must have looked in there too. Ah well.

In our first house, we had this ancient celler/basement with dirt floors. Our furnace, water heater and breaker box happened to be down there. Like ours now, but I wont set foot in this one. I'll sit in the dark all day before I go down there alone. No way, no how. Anyhow...
In that first basement, it always felt like something was watching me. Following me. And not in a curious way, but in a dangerous, nasty way. I hated it. But after years of living with it, we made a truce of sorts. When I had to go down there for something, I would ten minutes before yell down "I'm coming down for my canning jars." Then wait a few minutes and go down. I would stand at the door and yell once again. "I'm coming in. Go were ever it is you need to go, I don't want to see you." And then I would turn on the light, open the door, run and get what I needed and would leave. "Thank you." and that was that. This went on for nine years.

My friend the famous psychic had a friend who wanted to do 'talk' with my basement entity. I told him he could if he wanted to deal with his nastiness and left. He stayed for ten minutes and never returned. He told me on the phone later that whatever was in the basement was one piece of work. First off, it had never been human on this plane, it was a lower something that scared the hell out of the psychic and he would never come back again. lol. He also mentioned that the 'thing' had told him. "I live here. I've been here since forever and I'm not leaving." And I can imagine him sticking his tongue out after saying it. So, there. lol.
As far as I know, it's still there. People only live in that house for a year or two and move on. No one stays very long.

I'll take the movie loops, I'll take the curious spirits and even the playful ghosts. But, you can have the difficult pain in the asses who like to live in dark, dank places and scare people for the fun of it.

If they can't all get along. Then they need to move along. That's my way of looking at it.

Did the earth move for you too?

2008-04-18T05:33:00.001-05:00

At 4.36 am this morning we had an earthquake. It was centered in southern Illinois near West Salem. A 5.4 mag. It was felt they say from Southern Illinois, to Chicago, to Kentucky and Indy.
All along the new madrick fault line.

Our house shook. My husband ran in excited. "DID YOU FEEL THAT?" Everything shook and rumbled, the windows all rattled like a big wind was coming on.. I wondered if it was thunder at first and then the dresser began to shake. It only took a few seconds but it woke me up.

I remember the last one we had back in 87. That one was in the afternoon. All the windows and doors shook like crazy for about ten seconds.

I hope no one has no damage and everyone is alright.

Dreams

2008-04-17T12:49:00.001-05:00

I had some really strange dreams this morning.

The first one:

I went to get into my truck and realized it was full of snow. That was strange, because I knew I hadn't left a window or anything done, but the front seat area was full of snow. I started to scoop out the snow when I realized with horror that there was a dead black girl holding a little baby, crunched down on the front floor boards. They both were dead.
Once the csi people showed up it was determined that they hadn't died there, but instead had been placed there and then covered up with snow.

How strange and bizarre.

The second one:

I was sitting in an eye doctors outer office. I guess I had had something done with my eyes, they were closed. Someone then sat down next to me and for some reason began to braid my hair on the right side. And I let them. lol. When he got up to leave and the door closed, I realized the puke had stolen my purse. I burst through the door and saw him getting into a limo. I yelled for him to stop. He did for a second then continued to climb in. I pulled a gun out from under my pants leg and yelled again to stop.
There was another car and a woman was getting into that one. I knew they were together.
From behind me I heard my police partner say "You better stop, you pissed her off already. She'll shoot you, no doubt."

I then walked over to the woman and started smacking her, not hard but annoyed. I was yelling while whacking her.

"How could you do this to a HUMAN (WHACK WHACK) BEING?"
smack, smack, whack.
"To-a-fellow-(whack whack)- human- (smack whack)-FEMALE-being!" major smacking and whacking.
I was pissed they stole my purse.

Weird dreams for sure.

Orbs

2008-04-14T14:41:00.001-05:00

...the orbs are coming to take me away, hehe, haha. They are coming to take me away...

Well, no, not seriously. Just felt like a little Dr. Demento. Does anyone remember that little ditty?

Anyhow, I just saw a pretty big orb bouncing it's way through my living room towards the kitchen. That's the only room I usually see them in. Most times they are clustered down at the end of the sofa near the big picture window. There are maybe three or four bouncing together when I see them. But this one was alone and quiet big. Wonder where he was heading off too?

Spirit guides and blah blah blah.

2008-04-14T01:52:00.001-05:00

Inside of our truck it has sensors in the seats that knows when you don't have a seat belt on. Say someone is sitting in the passenger seat and takes all the weight off of the seat...a light comes on on the dash and says "passenger airbag is not on". When I drive this truck and am alone. The dash light is never on. I have never noticed this before till the other day.

Megan was in the passenger seat and lifted up and the light came on. I asked why it had done that and she explained that when there is no weight on the seat, which means all of the time when I drive alone, the light should be on. There is no weight on the seat.

IT IS NEVER ON WHEN I'M ALONE.

Its as if there is someone sitting next to me. Which doesn't surprise me at all.

You know how they say that ghosts or spirits suck up energy and that is why there are cold spots? well, my guys are the opposite. In fact, when I'm sure that James Malcolm is sitting next to me, I can take my hand and move it over the passenger seat and instead of it being cold...it is always very warm.

So, maybe it is him or one of the other three who are riding with me. Katherine used to drive everywhere with me. Then it was my two gay boys in the backseat. But one of those moved on. Which left me with my two ladies. Victory who is a civil war female from the 1860's. Then there is my Victorian lady, Katherine. Who is very proper but I know she loved to shock people back in the 1800's too. My gay boy is named Paul. And all I really know about him is that he is gay. He loves ABBA and is from the 1980's. I've often wondered if I haven't met him in this lifetime in my disco days.

And then there is James Malcolm who is my primary. He is the boss. The others always take his advice. And he is the one I argue and fight with the most. He might be 'guide' but I'm still not gonna let him bully me. lol. I've shocked other psychics when I talk about him. They always are horrified that I argue with him. They think I'm always suppose to say "Oh thank you James Malcolm for being in my life. I'm so grateful....blah blah blah." BULLSHIT. He knew what he was getting into when he signed on to watch over and guide me. I'm not a shock to him. So, I'm not gonna kiss his ass. But I will say, when there not around, I do miss them.

Supermodel Thrusday

2008-03-25T02:47:00.001-05:00

OOH OOH, this week on MAKE ME A SUPERMODEL all the models will be back. But we have to wait another stinking week to see if Ronnie won. I know that's where my votes went.

So, we'll get to see who is bitter, who is still pissed off and who trys to make us think they are soooo beyond needing to come back because they are so almost to the top baby. Yeah whatever!

And Perry will get to see his posse again. He can so drool over Casey some more. His boi's. Casey and Franky.

The whole bunch are all bi curious if you ask me.

Johnny Depp

2008-03-24T13:17:00.000-05:00

Johnny Depp is in house. Well, almost. He's in Crown Point filming a movie about John Dillinger.

He's clean shaven with short hair. I do like Johnny Depp. Not the psycho nutjob Johnny. But more of the 21jumpstreet Johnny. Although Captain Jack Sparrow is my favorite.

Living way out here in no mans land, we do get a lot of films being scouted and some made. A few years ago it was Tom Hanks filming Road to Perdition. He was all around us. We saw him several times. We would see his helicopter fly in early each morning when he was doing the driving scenes down the next road. We saw him filming in a local church. And actually went to watch filming on main street in the next town. Megan saw him around so many times it became a joke. On the day of the street filming as we were walking back to our truck. Tom Hanks and his 'peeps' were leaving. We saw him. He saw Megan. And they both pointed at each other and both laughed. It was really cute. So, he must have noticed her on every road and in every store also. lol. She never went up to him. Never bothered him. And I think he appreciated that.

And now Johnny Depp is around. He's been or is coming up by you next Jodie. The theatre where we saw The Ten Tenors in Aurora.

Christian and Theron

2008-03-18T01:24:00.000-05:00

Three new chapters are up over at http://i-shut-my-eyes.blogspot.com/

My poor Casey

2008-03-15T23:12:00.001-05:00

My poor sweet Casey was sent home this week.
How in the world did Ben beat him out? he was such an ass for the last two weeks how can he still be in the running?

And Perry? sheesh, he has the same look in every picture. Yet they LOVE him. Has an ego as big as Texas.

But, I'm confident that Casey will have no trouble getting work.

Cowboy rancher John Mac.

2008-03-12T23:58:00.001-05:00

I opened my front door the other night, it must have been around two am to let the dog in and off his chain. (he's grounded. He decided to go and visit his girlfriend a mile away.) Anyhow, I had put him on the chain and within ten minutes he began to howl. I mean, deep down in the gut howling. He then would bark a high pitched short bark. I figured maybe there was a coyote or something in the field. I opened my front door...and about pissed myself.

The storm window was all fogged up. So I took my hand to wipe it off and there was a face staring back at me. I gotta tell ya, I jumped back and about tinkled on myself. No one expects someone to be standing on their dark front porch at two am. When I caught my breath, he was gone. Murphy was still at the bottom of the stairs pitching an unearthly fit. I crossed myself. Said a quick 'get away from me' phrase and opened the storm door slowly. Murphy took some coaxing to come up the steps but finally did. We slammed the door and stood there staring at each other.
Murphy kept hoping around on his toes whining. I know he had been totally freaked out.

Once we both were calmed down we went to bed. I for some reason as I dozing off thought "I wonder what it would have been like living in this house long ago?" stupid thought.

I slept immediately and in my dream I saw the rancher/cowboy who had just made his presence known to me shortly before my sleep.
I could see him walking around the front of my house. It was daytime, summer like outside. He had on the same wide brimmed brown ranchers hat and overall/coverall type jeans. He had a rifle or shotgun some sort of long gun carrying it in the crook of his right arm. He looked stern, but not angry. As he came around the front of the house towards my front porch I heard him say loudly and with authority "GET AWAY!" I woke up shaking. My hands and body were shaking uncontrollably.
The more I thought about him, I thought his name was maybe John. But now I'm thinking Mac. But I'm not sure. I haven't seen him since. But Murphy has. And he doesn't know what to think of him. He barks an alert and whines a lot when he's around. I don't blame him. I surely didn't see this one coming either.

He's the type of spirit where I'm not sure if he's a ghost or a recurring memory that keeps playing. But, I have felt the knowledge that he had a gun with him because of some sort of animal. Maybe he had been hunting coyotes or wolves or something. And that is why he was telling whomever to GET AWAY. A kid? a dog? not sure. But Murphy would rather him not be around. We'll have to see what else he has to say. At this point I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt that he's not here to scare or hurt me.
The phrase he said with authority GET AWAY. Could have several meanings. Was he trying to tell me to get away from something or someone in this life? Not sure yet.
I've thought of going to the historical society to see if I could find anything, but to be honest I'm not really all that sure that I would want to know. What would I do if I found out he maybe had killed his wife in my living room or something? shit. Maybe that's what that big stain in on my hardwood floor. Lol. No, I'm sure that's not it.

I'm not sure I like this new 'seeing' more stuff the guides told me was coming. They woke me up a few weeks ago telling me "it's time to see. It's time to move to the next level." I'm not so sure I want too.

Animal says Happy Birthday

2008-03-08T16:51:00.000-06:00

ANIMAL SINGS HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JODIE

AAAAHHHHHH!

WISHING YOU A GREAT DAY

FROM ALL OF US ANIMALS HERE

YOU REALLY ARE MY BEST FREIND!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Casey oh Casey

2008-03-07T01:18:00.001-06:00

Hmm, he and Taylor in the last picture look sorta the same. Think they loan each other scarves? love the stubble.

I think I have a type.

Yummy.

2008-03-06T04:16:00.001-06:00

Boy, what I wouldn't give to see the rest of this picture. lol. And just how low are his jeans??

And your assignment is?

2008-03-02T03:59:00.001-06:00

OK, your assignment if you choose to accept it...

What is the significance of the number 5. And five white/hairless/glow in the dark mice? That apparently I can only see. My cats don't even notice them.

....OK. Go.

BACK STORY:

A few weeks ago. I was awoken by my, whatever he is. Guide, ghost. HUGE PAIN IN MY ASS...
And he was telling me that it is time to see. He says "It's time for you to see. See things the way they really are. Time to see." I rolled over saying. "It's in the middle of the night. Can't I see them tomorrow" I guess not.

So, over the past few weeks. I have begun to see new things. Weird/bizarre/in need of meds things. I had to put a sheet over my bedroom mirror because someone was looking out one night. I know. Freaky. I told her if she didn't vamoose, she wouldn't like it where I was gonna send her off too.

So, then last week. I wake up in the dark. I 'see' these five little white, hairless, glowing in the dark mice. They are playing on my nightstand. They are tumbling, and playing with each other. I lay watching them for a minute. Until I realize. IT'S DARK. How can I be seeing them? I turned on the light. And of course, nothing. I figured I was just dreaming. uh huh.

Then over the next few nights. Same thing. I've noticed that when I reach for the light switch without moving a muscle cept my hand. They freeze. Look at me like..."She's turning on the light. RUN!" now, I never hear anything. They don't make any jumping, falling, running noises. No noise at all. Strange.

There are always five. The same five little mice.

So, what do you conclude? besides that I'm loony tunes.

I need to turn you on.

2008-02-29T02:17:00.000-06:00

I want to turn you guys on. No not that way. But to a very funny blog. You might have noticed him in my comments. His name is Marc Acito and I love his wit. He's trying something new each day and letting us in on it. For instance, yesterday he made a tuna fish sandwich. Well, that doesn't sound so impressive, but add to that the fact he was.... blindfolded. Then he reported it to us by typing his blog report still blindfolded. Impressive. Why? I have no idea. But it was still impressive and very amusing.

You need to check him out.http://marcacito.blogspot.com/

One of the fun facts Marc gives us about himself is and I found very appropriate at the moment:

FUN FACT #8: When my partner edited Attack of the Theater People before I submitted it to my publisher, he removed five hundred commas.

Marc. Jodie feels your pain. She is editing my book and has nightmares about commas. I bet she has deleted at least that many from my pages as well. She calls me the comma queen. I don't see anything wrong with putting a comma where I think it belongs. lol. But I guess there are rules.

I don't know them.

But I assume there must be rules somewhere or she wouldn't be pulling her hair out.

Talk to me baby.

2008-02-28T04:15:00.000-06:00

Here's a new picture of Taylor. And little brother Zac, who isn't so little anymore. Purrrrr.
As you can see, Taylor does still leave me Breathless. I do have a 'type' for my fantasy guys. Blond and yummy. They don't have to be rocket scientists, who says they have to talk?? sing to me baby. Hum. What ever. Just let me look at you.

...oh, and if Taylor had Casey's body...Nat would never let him out of the bedroom. Maybe she doesn't anyhow, they have three kids under five.
If my spouse looked like either of my fantasy guys...I might not think of killing him so often. Just saying.