Thursday, April 30, 2009


Oh, Oh Colin. Sad to see you go! I think you should have gotten at least one more week. Amanda should have gone this week. What the hell was with laying on the horse?
Yeah, yeah, you had a hard time with the calf, who hasn't. Those little buggers are slippery. Not slimy, but a hand full. Anyhow, wish you the best. Sure we'll see you at some Bravo wrap up show.

Third graders

My daughter Megan told me today that she was in the middle school office, dropping off a sign up sheet for her cheerleaders. She is their coach. There was a third grade little girl in the office upset about something, but Megan didn't know about what. Finally the little girl couldn't hold back the tears and lost it completely and began to wail. "I HAVE A FIELD TRIP TOMORROW TO CHICAGO...I'M GOING TO GET THE SWINE FLU! I JUST KNOW IT!" where upon she began to sob.
While this is not funny, it is. Poor thing. and you just know she's going to show up tomorrow with rubber gloves and breathing mask. And the first person who sneezes anywhere in the city is going to send this little girl into a complete meltdown.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Spirit Guides

I'm so excited. Just found out my Spirit class is coming back. We've been on hiatus for months while we've all been going through some stuff. But our teacher has gotten a new place to hold classes and they are starting back up next month and I'm a happy camper.

Just that little once a month get together with like minded people, does a world of good. She will do two classes one for beginners and one for more advanced students. I fit into the second group, but the beginners group is always so much fun. They are just so excited and everything is new and fun and shocking. I love the freshness they bring and the questions and wide eyed innocence. Babes in blankets. Gotta love em. They haven't yet gotten tough skinned or acquired the know it all attitude.

We learn to listen and give spirit messages. This is one of the most important things she has taught us. To listen. And it is probably one of the hardest things to do. Just-to-listen. At the end of each class we have to calm ourselves and connect with our guides, then ask if they have any messages for anyone else in our group. Sometimes they are jumping to give them, other times it is like pulling chicken teeth, an impossible thing to do. At first just standing in front of a group of people and listening to your little inner voice and trying not to look like a fool is really hard. I mean REALLY HARD. You keep asking yourself am I really doing this? The beginner class will struggle with this. Some will get it right off the bat, others will never get it. But it strengthens the connections between you and your guides.

GUIDES: That is another thing that they will learn about. A lot of meditation work will be done. Workshops and spirit work. Lots of opportunity's to draw them out. Things to help you connect with them. In the meditation and then in the deeper meditations they will begin to notice the same people and voices. The same names popping up. Soon someone will introduce them self as their guide. Most times, multiple guides. I have four main ones. I used to have five...I'm not sure where the other one has gotten off too. lol. But, he's gone. But we do have different guides for different reasons.

For instance. I have protection guides. I have an outer ring I call the guards. I mentioned the one who was behind me, holding me the day I ran into the witch at the store. He was one of the guards. When any of them touch me, their touches are warm and solid.

But the main four who are with me all of the time are:

James Malcolm. The head of the little bunch and who says when asked how long he's been with me? "I'm been with you...Forever." Ok... I have always argued back with him. I figure he knew what he what he was getting when he signed up for this gig.

Katherine. My Victorian Lady. Who can be anything but a proper lady. She can hold her own against any man. She 'lets' James Malcolm think he's in charge. Not really sure what her purpose is at this point is though. But I have felt her influence in my life a great deal at different points.

Victory Houson (like the state, without the T) she says with a strong southern accent. She is from 1862 Vicksburg.


Paul. My early early 80's gay boy. He wears tight tights jeans. Kinda of a shorter version of a flock of seagulls haircut and loves ABBA and QUEEN. He is the only one who has actually shown me his death. Not pleasant. He was lured into an alley and beaten to death by a half dozen or so men. Brought me to my knees. Horrible. A skinny, not even 19 year old kid.

Funny sidebar: I once got into a very heated argument with another teacher during a class, because she was trying to teach the class I was in that we were supposed to always ALWAYS treat our guides like gods. What? I looked at her and stopped her on a dime. My class all snickered, knowing my relationship with James Malcolm and just waited for the fallout. I told her what I thought. I used bold words. "Lady, if they want to be treated nicely, then they best treat me nicely. They treat me like shit, they they can take a hike back out the door they came in." She turned white and told me that they were to be treated with the utmost respect, that they had 'chosen' to help us and to not treat them with respect and honor was an insult and she would not stand for it. I laughed at her. She has refused to this very day to ever attend the same class if I'm there. Ah well. lol.

I have gotten into some heated arguments with my own guides and have told them to shut the hell up and to leave. Which they have for months. Until I need them or they think I've learnt what ever lesson I needed to learn. Putzes. lol. But I love them all. Most of the time. I do miss them terribly when they aren't around though.

Thursday, April 23, 2009


I was talking with someone today about I.M.L and they asked if I had ever played? A simple question. But there are so many different ways to answer that one little question.

Yes, I played. Or a better answer should probably be, I dabbled. Lol. About a hundred years and several lifetimes ago.
My first boyfriend. The one whom I gave my V card to was also was my first boy. Didn’t know it at the time. But he was.
I’ve wondered over the years what exactly what all his different purposes were in my life. Yes, he opened my eyes to ‘play’. I certainly had my own ideas, but had never acted on them. We were both 17 when we began. And I was a intercourse virgin for the first two years of our being together. He said he was, and I believe that yes he was in the sense that he was a virgin with girls.
But, he more than a little experienced in butt play. What did I know? I knew NOTHING about what guys wanted in that area. But, damn when I decided to let him teach me, I was fast learner. Lol. It didn’t take long for him to let me take the lead. And I ran with it. For the first two years, he and I tried just about everything, except intercourse. He wasn’t really interested, and I wasn’t ready. Lol. Funny, I was beating him, I was tying him up, and using a strap on…but I wasn’t ready…LOL. I blush even writing that.
Two years in, we switched. He topped and I bottomed. Still, had no idea that there were even words or a culture for what we were doing. Two suburban kids both still living at home. But, that never stopped us. Where there is a will, there is a place and a scene I guess for two horny twenty somethings I guess.
I didn’t mind being the bottom, but he really wasn’t happy topping. And by this point, he was ready for a more vanilla relationship he told me. My kinky little heart was broke.
I saw him now and then. He would drunk call a few times a year. But for the most part I didn’t see him anymore for years.
…I mean years. I too moved into the more spiritual side of myself, learning about what made me me. Learning to hear my Spirit guides, communing with ghosts and just settling into my own skin I suppose.
Some years later I ran into him at some street fair with my kids, with his….boyfriend, that wasn't a big surprise. He did introduce us. But not as his ex girl friend, not his first, or his ex mistress, or what ever I was. The boyfriend kept looking at me strangely, probably trying to read the looks on our faces. I so wanted to ask if he still liked to be tied up? But he looked happy, and married and I just couldn't do it. I did wish him well and I meant it.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Tid bits

Tid bits:

Just ate a weight watchers BOSTON CREAM PIE yogurt. Well, it sure didn't taste like Boston cream pie, unless the Boston cream pie had gone rancid and sour. It just tasted like....yogurt. Sad. Just so sad!


Two nights ago. Had something follow me all the way down the driveway. Not sure what it was. That hasn't happen in a LONG time. Months even. I 'felt' it. I knew it was following me. I kept turning around but didn't see anything. It actually didn't feel like any of the regulars. LOL. I know that sounds strange. But they do have a vibration of their own when they come around. And this one felt different. I know it wasn't the civil war guy. Whom I haven't seen in six months or more. Hopefully he truly has moved on into the light for good. It wasn't the pain in my ass trouble maker who loves to just screw with me. He's been on Hiatus someplace and hasn't been around either. So, I guess I'll see if this one shows up again, and what it wants.
The joy's of having different vibrations I guess. I get to deal with Ghosts and spirits on occasion.

I've had several emails asking about my Spirit guides and how I came to have them and who they are. So, maybe I'll talk about them this week. They really are a fun bunch. lol. I know people probably think I'm as crazy as a loon, and I don't blame them one bit. I'd think I was nuts too. But they've proven themselves time and time again. Just ask Jodie. They kick her in the butt now and then and shock the hell out of her by telling me things that I couldn't know to tell her. She is a believer now. lol.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Supermodels at the A list awards.

S0me of the models at Bravos A LIST AWARDS. There is our Colin standing next to last years Casey. Why Casey is with them is beyond me, but he is looking yummy, but he always did. And Shawn is back for some reason too, and all wrinkled to boot.

Sunday, April 05, 2009


For more than 30 years, the leather community has rolled into Chicago to celebrate leather culture. The event now draws thousands from around the world to help crown the world's "hottest leathermen." Organizers say that attendees range form hardcore leather aficionados to the "just curious." The next IML will take place on Memorial Day Weekend. Thursday, May 21, 2009 through Monday, May 25, 2009.
The party sprawls across the city, but the main events will be headquartered at the Hilton Chicago.
And not to mention, the Vendor leather market. Vendors from all over the country will be there And who couldn't find something to make your little kinky hearts skip a beat. I'm pretty sure I could. Now, I just need to find me some kinky friends. Or kinky-er friends. Mine won't go.
Not even with the lure of the possibility of ....Tony Buff. You don't know Tony Buff? O-M-G.
I WILL HAVE TO POST PICTURES! It really is hard finding pictures of him with clothes on. But without clothes...holy mother....
Now, I have no confirmation that he will be there this year, But he is a Titan man, and Washington states Mr Leather 2002. And one hot mother...but I digress....
There will be numerous vendors large and small. I would hope Titan would send a rep for their new RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) extreme fetish line videos. Which I've seen a four minute clip of on the Titan website and all I can say is WOW! I can't wait to see the entire thing.